the other side of the coin

 

I bitch —

A lot about things gone wrong in scripts I read for Nicholl. Bad brads. Bad action. “Etcetera.” WAY too many Dead Elvis jokes —

There is another side to this too though. Sometimes things go really right in Nicholl scripts.

The thing about that is though, Nicholl reading requires a certain amount of confidentiality. So —

When I am bitching and complaining about something gone tragically wrong Nicholl, I cannot actually say, “This just happened.” I have to make something up that is close — but not identifiable.

And. When something goes really really right? I also cannot say, Hey I just read the coolest thing reading for Nicholl.

Well, okay I can say that. I just cannot tell you what it is.

 

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I just read the coolest thing reading for Nicholl.

Wish I could tell you what it is.

 

where that image comes from : the full size image is here on celluloidblonde

But —

the original photo source is :
aj’s white eleven site here

etcetera my ass

 

Okay —

Never. Ever.

Put “etc.” in scene description.

Just don’t.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is girl with dunce cap by arthur tress

the end of brad frenzy

 

 

Thought for today —

The coolest thing about Nicholl going fully electronic this year is —

No brad mayhem! Yay!

 

where the art work comes from :
that is magician’s rabbit in hat by kent dufault

cool stuff

 

Last night —

I went to a screening of Ten Inch Hero. It was very fun and the first time I got to see it on the big screen and it has Jensen Ackles in it who is cute as hell which is reason enough to go see it but also [and this is the really cool part for me] it is Betsy Morris’s movie and she was working on it in one of my workshops so I got to see the original script taking shape and now get to see it on the big screen yay!

Also I do not know if I mentioned this in addition to Chris’s first table read this month Lee from the 5150 workshop won a Nicholl Fellowship this year which is also terribly cool and I went to the awards ceremony and got to watch him accept his award. Lee lives in England so this was the first time I got to meet him in person instead of just typing at him on a computer too which is also very cool.

[The majority of my workshops are online so there are people I work with and never actually meet though I try to meet up when I can --- England was just too far though oops.]

Lee is not my first Nicholl winner Colleen won in 2005. And Patricia who I have been in workshops with for years won in 2001. And I got to watch those scripts take form too. Then there is Toni, author of the Bobbie Faye books, who originally worked on the Bobbie Faye stories as a script in a workshop of mine. There is George, my Seattle student who wrote 50 First Dates. And Mary, another former workshopper of mine who won the Warner Bros. competition and has written several Stargate Atlantis episodes. Lacy who has sold treatments and is doing work for hire and one of these days is definitely going to be produced. And and and —

I know there are people I am leaving out but I am writing this on the fly and late so do not get your feelings hurt if I left your name off the list just know —

It is very very cool seeing all these people I have worked with hitting these milestones and seeing them accept the awards and watching their movies and TV episodes on the screen.

[happy sigh]

You guys rock.

 

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*also a friend is punching me in the arm to make me type this so yes i do consults info about those is :::here::: and am teaching two winter classes through gotham in january and also run 5150 which has very limited seating space so is pretty hard to get into but you can always ask if you knock my socks off i might have to say yes

 

where the art work comes from :
that is hotel paradiso 2 by britcat100

dead stop

 

So I am reading —

This script. It is a nice script. Characters are working. Dialogue is working. There is structure. Emotion. Tone. Pacing. The writer even has voice. Things are going great. Then a character in the script starts picking strawberries off a vine.

Dead stop.

Strawberries do not grow on vines.

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I am reading this script. The story is set on a farm. The chickens all live in the barn.

Dead stop.

Chickens are not kept in barns.

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I am reading this script. A character asks, What’s that smell? Uh oh. The lead character has “deer poop” on her shoe.

Dead stop.

Anyone here know what “deer poop” looks like? Kym does but for the city kids, it looks like pellets. Hard little pellets and deers are herbivores so if it smells like anything it smells like grass.

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I am reading this script….

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from kitty

perplexidly….

 

Okay —

What is up with words like “perplexidly”? Listen, there are things that people purporting to be writers should know and one of those things is adverbs and another is how adverbs work.

Just tossing an “ly” on any old word will not make it an adverb. I am sorry, it is a nice try, but it will not. [I know this because I had grandmothers who taught English and they got strict about stuff like this.] And, if you do it anyway and somehow do mutate a perfectly innocent word like perplex into some strange new aberrant adverb, pay attention to what you are affecting there :

The.

Verb.

[Verb. Adverb. Notice “verb” is in both of those. That is a nifty clue.]

What this all means to some of the people I have been reading in the Nicholl competition is, if some guy walks across a quad “perplexidly,” that sentence does not mean the guy is perplexed, that sentence means the walk is perplexed. Because “perplexidly” is a mutant faux adverb.

I only bring this up because I am sure seeing a lot of perplexidlies in scripts I am reading.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is girl with dunce cap by arthur tress

today’s nicholl thought; aka more brad trauma

 

This totally requires —

A photograph. It is tragically not a good photograph — hey it is a dinky camera phone — but should illustrate the situation. Answers are multiple choice I would not spring a blue book on you.

 

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Given that most scripts are created equal before you open them, which script would you want resting on your delicate alabaster thigh as you read scripts in your pretty underoos and oversized t-shirt? Or, put another way, which script would you actually feel friendly towards?

a : the script with the dinky brads that is going to explode and/or fall apart resulting in tragic paper cuts, page sorting mayhem and much swearing?

b : the script with the long dangerous brads that is going to stab you every chance it gets and leave marks interesting men will find disconcerting?

c : the script with the nice sturdy brads that are not too long and not too short and not too flimsy and also have pretty washers so are totally flat against the script?

 

*the answer is provided below spelled backwards :

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c

:::good brads:::
:::pretty washers:::
:::fun mallets:::