story board whut?

June 17, 2015


I am always seeing these crazy story boards posted online by writers. They are very ordered and very detailed and very complex and to me look like time outlines for a NASA space mission or a chores list put up for a military camp.

Here is one of those crazy story boards:

Screen shot 2015-06-17 at 5.45.25 PM

Here is my story board:


I guess my story board should be embarrassed by the bigger more glamorous story boards but it isn’t. My story board says, Fuck off, it doesn’t do manual labor.


5150 new york!

June 7, 2015

Peter Andrews, Chesher Cat, Pumpkin the Dog, and Jodi Lustig -- Best 5150 Photo Ever, thank you New York yay!

Peter Andrews, Chesher Cat, Pumpkin the Dog, and Jodi Lustig — Best 5150 Photo Ever. Thank You New York!




Dynamic Writing



Character Writing


Yes, those classes are taught by yours truly. They are online accelerated master screenwriting classes. For more info, hit :::THE AFW:::

insane awesomeness

February 25, 2015

 This is insanely awesome.  In 1982, three 11 year olds in Mississippi fell in lover with Raiders of the Lost Ark so they decided to remake it! Watch —




Dynamic Writing



Character Writing


Yes, those classes are taught by yours truly. They are online accelerated master screenwriting classes. For more info, hit :::THE AFW:::

pretty dresses yay!

February 23, 2015

Because I love pretty dresses, some of my Oscar faves —


Cate Blanchett

Cate Blanchett

Rita Ora

Rita Ora

Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johansson

Sienna Miller

Sienna Miller



Margot Robbie

Margot Robbie





a few bad apples

January 8, 2015




In 1988, the Ayatollah Khomeini put a price on author Salmon Rushdie’s head. Rushdie wasn’t wanted “dead or alive.” Khomeini wanted Rushdie dead. I don’t know what the original price tag was for one dead author, but as of 2013, the price on Rushdie’s head was over 3 million pounds.

The Ayatollah is gone. The prices on artists’ heads are not.



In 2004, Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh was shot dead on a busy Amsterdam street. The first bullet took Theo off his bicycle. He tried to make it across the street. Theo’s murderer followed him on foot and shot him again. Then Theo’s murderer slashed Theo’s throat and stuck a letter to his chest with a knife. Theo was 47 years old. His crime was a short fiction film aired on Dutch public television depicting a Muslim woman’s difficulties in an arranged marriage.  

In 2005, Danish cartoonist Kurt Westergaard’s drawing of Muhammad with a bomb in his turban put him on Islam’s hit list. There have been multiple attempts to murder Kurt. He lives in a home rivaling a Brinks security office and under police protection to this day.  

Also in 2005, Danish publication Jyllands-Posten’s former editors Carsten Juste and Flemming Rose made the hit list – for publishing Westergaard’s drawing.  

In 2006, Swedish artist Lars Vilks made Islam’s hit list. He, like Rushdie and Wetergaard, is still alive. He sleeps with an axe by his bed.  

In 2010, South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker received death threats for their depiction of Muhammad in a bear suit in their animated cartoon. They were assured they too were on the road to Theo van Gogh’s fate. A photo of Theo with his throat slit and a knife in his chest was attached just to make things festive. The South Park guys are still breathing. Probably because stations caved and censored a lot of the episode.  

In 2010, in response to the South Park threats, Seattle artist Molly Norris, who worked for a Seattle paper, publicly suggested an “Everybody Draw Muhammad Day.” Molly received so may death threats she quit her job, fled Seattle, and changed her name. As far as I know, she’s still in FBI protective custody.  

In 2011, the Paris offices of satirical French magazine Charlie Hebdo were firebombed, forcing the publication to move after its offices were destroyed. Editor Stephane Charbonnier, you guessed it, was on Islam’s hit list. Had been for a while, fending off litigation and death threats. Charlie Hebdo’s crime? A few satirical and not particularly tasteful cartoons featuring Muhammad.  

Apparently Muhammad seriously does not have a sense of humor because In 2015, armed men stormed Charlie Hebdo’s new Paris offices with automatic weapons and shot Stephane Charbonnier and 11 other people dead.



There is now an Al Queada Most Wanted poster being passed around the internet showing Charbonnier’s face struck out in red.


Think about that. These murderers, these serial murderers, don’t just keep little photos of their victims to themselves they can cross your face off of. They put your photo on the fucking internet. With a big red X through it.

THAT is fucking blaspheme.



The above is the short list. There are more.

And that’s a long time span.

17 years. For 17 years, artists, filmmakers, satirists, journalists, comics, authors, editors, gallery owners have been threatened, attacked, murdered in the name of defending the honor of a man who heard voices in a cave and has been dead for 1500 years. In Switzerland. Sweden. The US. France. Denmark. All over the fucking globe, artists are targeted, intimidated, threatened, and murdered.



A few bad apples, I am told. Most of Islam is not like that, I am told. Most Muslims are just nice people trying to go about their daily lives, I am told.



You know what a few bad apples are? The Unibomber. He was a bad apple, with a couple buddy bad apples.

This is a fucking orchard.



It’s time to burn that orchard down.


The Silencing of Theo van Gogh
FBI Warns Seattle Cartoonist About Threats
Salman Rushdie bounty increased amid anti-Islam film controversy
Al-Qaida’s ‘dead artist club’
Charlie Hebdo editor Stephane Charbonnier crossed off chilling al-Qaeda hitlist
Swedish Police Hide Threatened Cartoonist
Seattle Cartoonist in Hiding After Death Threats
The Danish Cartoonist Who Survived An Axe Attack
Jihad Against Danish Newspaper
South Park censored after threat of fatwa over Muhammad episode
France manhunt: Police raid homes, arrest several suspects after Charlie Hebdo massacre
Paris Killers Got Wrong Door Before ‘Decapitating’ Magazine
Satirical Magazine Is Firebombed in Paris


pigeon superstition!

January 6, 2015

I love this clip:

[I love the clip almost as much as I love the term “pigeon superstition.”]

That is from Mr. Nobody, which is much more interesting than I was expecting. I have been in bed a lot recovering from an injury and so am down to what I call “last dregs” on Netflix [also known as what Netflix keeps pushing at me that I have refused to watch] and I kind of avoided Mr. Nobody forever on Netflix until just recently because I hated the one shot and I hated the name and also it sounded stupid in the Netflix description — but Mr. Nobody is not stupid it is a decent film with a more than interesting complex structure.

I also just watched John Dies Last on Netlfix, which is hilarious and wonderful [who knew?] and completely owned me after a dog drove a car in it. Yay!

meanwhile, back at the ranch

December 28, 2014

Meanwhile, back at the ranch —

Seats are available in AFW January classes and going fast.  If you want one of these seats, hit us at and reserve your seat now.


Screen shot 2014-12-28 at 11.51.52 AM Screen shot 2014-12-28 at 11.54.10 AM Screen shot 2014-12-28 at 11.56.12 AM

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