how not to sexually harass a woman

I love this like a shark loves blood:

happy international women’s day

it’s tough to be a girl on the internet

 

So I’m traipsing around the internet catching up on posts and whatnot and I find two posts under my IMDB profile. Which is surprising since it’s hard to find my IMDB profile in the first place unless you are seriously looking. [Dear IMDB, I’m sorry I won’t pay you money for a pro membership, but really, I should actually show up in a search since I am a produced screenwriter. Sigh.]

One of the posts is really nice about the book and I’d respond to Glen if I didn’t have to give IMDB my phone number or a credit card number to do it. Which I won’t do but, Glen, thanks, that was really nice, if you are out there. Write an Amazon review!

The other post says my picture should be next to “bitch” in the dictionary.

Jeezu.

Also there’s a post above that was deleted so apparently was so nasty even the IMDB people pulled it.

Here’s the screenshot:

 

 

I was talking to a guy I know at Austin Film Festival and he was saying there’s a Facebook group that is all cool and whatnot and he’d invite me and then I heard the names of the guys running the show. And just said, No, that’s a boy’s club, if I go in there I’ll just get attacked every time I talk.

This is an ongoing thing on the internet. If I talk, my picture should go under “bitch” in the dictionary. If I write a book, my name should go under “bitch” in the dictionary. If I have a website, my picture should go under “bitch” in the dictionary. If I share information, my picture should go under “bitch” in the dictionary…

It’s an ongoing thing. It’s exhausting. And if I try to defend myself? Wholly fucking cats, then my picture should really go next to “bitch” in the dictionary. Because well how dare I, someone with a vagina, even try to defend myself?

 

 

alas, poor max, i knew her

Max Adams, Evil Script Sprite Incorporated

 

Hmm. So Geoff Latulippe just said

“Ugh, Max.

“Your reputation is well known to those in the film business. As a cautionary tale. I needn’t document it here, but suffice to say I can’t imagine a legit industry professional would vouch for you at this point.”

 

 

 

This is a response to a post in which I told Geoff lambasting anyone who is a teacher, mentor, or consultant, is wrong.

The post is “A RESPONSE TO JEANNE V. BOWERMAN AND SCRIPT MAGAZINE.”

He was attacking Jeanne in that post. Sigh. Now he’s attacking me for responding with credits.

It would actually be interesting if Geoff did “document” my alleged cautionary tale, since then I’d know what I’m getting hit for this time. The gossip internet tabloids about me are always interesting. But —

SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT THIS MISSION:

If I have ever impacted your writing career in a positive way, as writer, teacher, mentor, consultant, author —

Go tell Geoff about it.

Geoff seems to think I’m a terrible person and a horrible teacher and mentor.

According to him, everyone else in Hollywood thinks so too.

Fuck I had better call my agent. What if he has heard this Geoff news?  Jesus!

 

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*Not to be bitchy about it, (okay actually I am being a total bitch about it, and on purpose too, fuck you!, whoops!). My biggest detractors in “the film biz” are usually men I wouldn’t have sex with.

 

quiggly and the dire questions of interference

 

There is a girl in the building with a White French Bulldog puppy.

He’s a really cute puppy. His name is Quiggly.

Tonight it’s really late and I go out on the balcony for a smoke and I see a woman in the corner talking to a man.

I get a little worried about that.

Okay a lot worried about that.

Not because a man is talking to a woman. Because of the hour and the place and because she is in a corner.  So —

I put on more clothes and trudge out there just to make sure that girl is okay.

She is. It is the girl who owns Quiggly. And the man she is talking to is a friend.

And I get a Quiggly kiss. Which rocks.

When I walked out there, I was not thinking that would be the outcome. I was thinking I might be walking into physical harm’s way.

Nothing was wrong. Which is the best possible outcome.

Also I have no idea how to attach tags now in the new WordPress set up. Ahhh!

 

 

i am so moving to iceland

 

 

:::FIND OUT MORE AT FEMINISTING.COM:::

#InternationalWomensDay

*Hey, it could work, dammit. The official language of Iceland is
Icelandic, which is Germanic. I speak some German already. Also
there are a lot of English speakers there. Quit laughing.

 

 

consent: not actually that complicated

 

Dinosaur Tea Party

 

This is brilliant, and as most brilliant things are, simple.  It’s from Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess.  Who has thrown me into a dizzying spin of blog name envy right there but anyway —

 

Consent: Not Actually That Complicated

~ Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess

It seems a lot of people really, REALLY don’t get what ‘consent’  means. From the famous “not everybody needs to be asked prior to each insertion” to the student that (allegedly) thought he’d surprise his partner with some non consensual BDSM to that fucking song to almost every damn comment on any article by anyone that suggests that yes means yes; it seems people really have a problem understanding that before you have sex with someone, and that’s every time you have sex with them, make sure they want to have sex with you. This goes for men, women, everyone. Whoever you are initiating sexytimes with, just make sure they are actually genuinely up for it. That’s it. It’s not hard. Really.

If you’re still struggling, just imagine instead of initiating sex, you’re making them a cup of tea.

You say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they go “omg fuck yes, I would fucking LOVE a cup of tea! Thank you!*” then you know they want a cup of tea.

If you say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they um and ahh and say, “I’m not really sure…” then you can make them a cup of tea or not, but be aware that they might not drink it, and if they don’t drink it then – this is the important bit –  don’t make them drink it. You can’t blame them for you going to the effort of making the tea on the off-chance they wanted it; you just have to deal with them not drinking it. Just because you made it doesn’t mean you are entitled to watch them drink it.

If they say “No thank you” then don’t make them tea. At all. Don’t make them tea, don’t make them drink tea, don’t get annoyed at them for not wanting tea. They just don’t want tea, ok?

They might say “Yes please, that’s kind of you” and then when the tea arrives they actually don’t want the tea at all. Sure, that’s kind of annoying as you’ve gone to the effort of making the tea, but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea. They did want tea, now they don’t. Sometimes people change their mind in the time it takes to boil that kettle, brew the tea and add the milk. And it’s ok for people to change their mind, and you are still not entitled to watch them drink it even though you went to the trouble of making it.

If they are unconscious, don’t make them tea. Unconscious people don’t want tea and can’t answer the question “do you want tea” because they are unconscious.

Ok, maybe they were conscious when you asked them if they wanted tea, and they said yes, but in the time it took you to boil that kettle, brew the tea and add the milk they are now unconscious. You should just put the tea down, make sure the unconscious person is safe, and  – this is the important bit – don’t make them drink the tea. They said yes then, sure, but unconscious people don’t want tea.

If someone said yes to tea, started drinking it, and then passed out before they’d finished it, don’t keep on pouring it down their throat. Take the tea away and make sure they are safe.  Because unconscious people don’t want tea. Trust me on this.

If someone said “yes” to tea around your  house last saturday, that doesn’t mean that they want you to make them tea all the time. They don’t want you to come around unexpectedly to their place and make them tea and force them to drink it going “BUT YOU WANTED TEA LAST WEEK”, or to wake up to find you pouring tea down their throat going “BUT YOU WANTED TEA LAST NIGHT”.

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:::READ MORE:::

 

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PS: That is my official International Women’s Day post.  But wait!, you say, you want more International Women’s Day goodness. Glutton for punishment, eh?  Okay, hit these babies:

•SERIOUSLY?
•BUT WOULD YOU WANT TO FUCK HER?
•4 GOOD REASONS FOR A MAN TO HIT A WOMAN
•HERE IS SOME PRETTY NAIL POLISH, GIRLS
•NOT YOUR MOM’S SOAP BUBBLES
•THANK YOU IO9 YOU MISOGYNISTIC FUCKTARDS
•10 RAPE PREVENTION TIPS

 

 

patricia arquette is a badass yay!

but would you want to fuck her?

 

 
Is that crude? Yes, yes it is. It is also accurate. I’m tired of being polite instead of accurate. [No worries, you can mention my trash mouth along with my weight in my obituary.]

On January 29th, Colleen McCullough, teacher, scientist, researcher, doctor and beloved author who touched million of lives, died at the age of 77. She was one of Australia’s most prestigious authors, she penned 25 novels and is best known for The Thorn Birds which sold 30 million copies worldwide, earning $1.9 million — a record for the time — and was adapted into a TV miniseries that came in second at the time in viewings only to Roots.

Her obituary in the Australian opens:

Colleen McCullough, Australia’s best selling author, was a charmer. Plain of feature, and certainly overweight, she was nevertheless a woman of wit and warmth.

So there you have it. She was fat and plain. Good to know. Because no matter how accomplished a woman is, you can sum her up by whether or not she’s fat and whether or not she is attractive to men. Good thing she was jolly, or that fat thing might have really counted against her….

 

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I’m guessing Colleen did not have kids. I don’t know for a fact, maybe she did. But usually they don’t go straight for “fat and not enough make up to make me want to do her” if they can just call you a mom and relegate your important to whether or not a baby ever popped out of your vagina. They do it to astronauts. They do it to photographers. If Colleen had had kids, they probably would have done it to her.
 

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Check out the hashtag on twitter, #myozobituary – that baby is going viral yay!

 

seriously?

 

 

Why is it any time I mention women wearing clothing or grooming themselves, everyone starts talking about women “trying to attract men”? Women groom themselves and put on clothing for other reasons. We have jobs. We go to church. We go to the supermarket. We travel on airplanes and go to the library and drive cars and pump our own gas and, you know, do stuff that requires grooming and clothing, we don’t just lie naked and ungroomed on the kitchen floor till it’s time to go find a man. What century is this?