Alexander Skarsgard as Tarzan


This is the funnest most bestest movie review ever. And totally the kind of movie review I would write if I could write movie reviews. Which I can’t because if you do that everyone in Hollywood gets mad and you can never work again. Probably even posting THIS movie review will get me black listed somewhere.

[Shut up, Hollywood. It is funny.]


I saw Tarzan and this is my review after some wines
~ by Emily from the blog EmilyWrites

So I had wine and I am very tired and so I am a bit tipsy but I saw the Tarzan movie so I thought I’d give my honest review.
Excuse typos because you know, wines.

Ok so I don’t know what the plot is or who is in it other than Alexander Skarsgard and Alexander Skarsgard’s magnificent holy abs. I don’t know what the dialogue or acting is like or whatever.

But like 1/3 of the way in Alexander Skarsgard is going to fight a gorilla for some reason and he takes off his shirt and OMG LIKE I ACTUALLY GROANED LOUDLY.
He does not put his shirt back on for the whole movie.

And like The V. sweet mother Mary the V I am telling you. The v is worth $15. The V is worth so much I wanted to see the movie again straight afterward.
Did I say that he doesn’t put his shirt back on?

:::continue reading:::


suicide squad!

April 11, 2016


Friend: “I think your spirit animal might just be Harley Quinn.”

Me: “Doy.”




April 10, 2016


There is this hashtag on Twitter #ForcedFamilyFun that is brilliant — which is totally surprising.

Hashtag #ForcedFamilyFun was started by a TBS TV show sponsor [The Detour] and usually those crash and burn hard — but not this time.

I do not know if the show is any good I have never watched it but this time the show peeps got it so right and that hashtag stream should be funny as hell. Except  —

All these weird ass dysfunctional people [mostly parents uh ohs] are showing up and tweeting THEY HAVE FUN AND IT’S NOT FORCED!

I am not sure whether to file that under “irony” or “delusion” or “Wow Detour peeps that was totally a brilliant funny hashtag that should have worked clearly the internetz gods hate you I am so sorry.”


It did inspire me to dig out a childhood photo.


Hat Attitude



happy groundhog day

February 2, 2016



photo tests & duck girl

January 10, 2016



 *On the up side, though Duck Girl Max looks like she’s ready for a session with the What Not to Wear folks, she looks smarter than better lighting slightly fuzzy iPhone Max. So maybe it works out.

*Okay, it is not entirely the computer camera’s fault. I take the iPhone test photos before the first computer take. Ten takes later, I have stepped outside into Texas weather at least ten times for smokes, been distracted by stray dishes, decided one eyebrow is off, taken vitamins I forgot to take this morning, realized I forgot to pick up mail today, taken out the trash, decided I have to change shirts the collar is so wrong, erm, five or more times — there are reasons by the tenth take hair and lipstick are a little frazzled. But still!


making a clip - the max progression



January 4, 2016


Puppy IQ!
I have been doing IQ posts a long time and people even really close friends [who you would think would have been there from the beginning but no, thank you demon from hell Facebook algorithms] keep asking me what “IQ!” by cute animal photos means so, for everyone who missed it, the “IQ!” story:

Studies [scientific studies including big research by the Japanese and the Japanese do not dick around with productivity studies] indicate looking at cute cat and dog and animal photos increases work productivity and attention spans AND IQ. So  —

You have total IQ every time you visit or view or like a cute animal photo. You get more productive and smarter. Yay! Also possibly more Japanese but the Japanese have better hair and fashion across the board than anyone in the US anyway so that is not a con.

Expect more cute animal photos soon.

That is my contribution to society and science dammit!



how to enjoy coleslaw

November 26, 2015


coleslawHow to enjoy coleslaw:

1. Throw coleslaw in trash.
2. Order fries.
3. Eat fries.


and the winner is —

November 9, 2015

This is totally my favorite photo from all of AFF. Oh the horror! Oh the consternation! Oh nos!


Max oh nos!

%d bloggers like this: