Dear NASA

August 8, 2017


So I saw this application to a NASA position from Jack Davis [age 9]:

 

Jack Davis application to NASA

 

I immedately knew 2 things:

1: NASA was in trouble if it was considering job applications from 9 year olds.

2: I needed to follow Jack Davis’s lead writing to NASA applying for the planetary protection officer job, [eat my dust, Jack!]

 


NOT GATHERING ANY DUST [I AM A DUST FREE ZONE, TAKE NOTE, NASA]


 

I hit that right off. Yay!

 


 

August 8, 2017

 

Dear NASA: 

My name is Max Adams and I would like to apply for the Planetary Protection Officer position.

I saw Jack Davis’s response to your job ad and immediately knew you needed my assistance here since you are receiving applications from nine year olds and clearly probably need someone with a driver’s license on your side.

I have a driver’s license! Yay!

[I am so fit for the job. Also, noo pesky bus schedules. Yay!]

I have also watched Agents of Shield. AND Men in Black. [Eat my dust, Jack Davis.]

Also, I know a lot about microbes. I was tasked with eradicating microbes at an early age by a bi-polar OCD germaphobc my loving and caring mother and know all sorts of Lysol tricks.

Who needs hazmat suits when you have Lysol? Yay!

I so look forward to your response and am packing my bags in anticipation.

 

Love and Kisses,

Your New Planetary Protection Officer,

AKA That Adams Girl

 

PS: I live in Texas and am location friendly. [Haha Jack!] I am female so can coach aliens on asshat second hand citizen Congress shenanigans. [Yay!] ALSO, I am tan challenged so will meld right in with aliens trapped on a space ship with no sun for years [I get it aliens, I spend all my time missing the sun too] AND can explain the difference between “space alien white” and “local citizen alien brown” to ICE agents. Just like the President! Yay!

PPS: Okay maybe I am giving the President too much credit, but I got this!

 

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lion dog

 

 

 

 

I’m talking to the guys who service an internet Verizon tower by the apartment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That tower scares the hell out of me.

Not because it’s there.

Because I’m afraid of heights and men climb it.

That to me is crazy, climbing that tower and working up there on top of it. That tower doesn’t even have a good ladder. Its ladder is just weird little metal spikes.

It’s the owls’ tower, too, and I wonder what the owls do when men are climbing their tower. I wonder where the owls go.

 


The guys I’m talking to are the guys on the ground with the dog.

The dog is their mascott. They take the dog to every job. They used to take a different dog to every job, they tell me. But that dog got old and earned its retirement so now that dog stays home and they bring the new dog to every job.

It’s a beautiful dog. A kind of lion of a dog. All brindled coat and muscles and blue eyes. The dog is only a few months old too. It’s a puppy right now and only about 100 or so pounds. I would have guessed 80. They say 100 for sure. It’s all muscle so that makes sense.

The dog [puppy really] will probably be more hundreds of pounds when it is grown. Already it is huge. And beautiful. Like I said, a lion more than a dog.

The guys are interesting. One guy is covered in tats. Most of them prison tats. In places it really hurts to get tats. Like fingers and arm pits. The other guy doesn’t have a lot of tats. His mother asked him to stop. His father had tats all over. His father is dead. He’s missing two teath. He loves his mother. He talks to her every day. He stopped getting tats. He never did time, I think.

Sometimes I wonder why people tell me all these things. They always have. When I tended bar, I thought maybe it was just because I was the body behind the bar. But, I don’t tend bar now. I’m just standing on my balcony, watching two guys with a dog go by. And they tell me these things. Because I like their dog. Because I am there.

I am some sort of secrets wisperer. People tell me their secrets. And their stories. 

That is a really beautiful dog.

 

 

 

Coming in July, online master screenwriting classes Character Writing and Visual Writing begin July 11th. Please register early to reserve your seat in class.

Character Writing, an online master class in screenwriting from the AFW

Visual Writing: An Online Master Screenwriting Class

 

hair yay day!

May 12, 2017

The hair day went so totally right yay! I was angsting out a little about cuts and color. In the end we went for a merge of this color and cut combo:

 

It so worked! Yay yay yay!Thank you Kate at Last Satellite yay!

 

Cutting the hair tomorrow. Haven’t decided exactly how I want to cut it yet or how short. Today I am looking at ALL the pretty hair cuts. Yay!

There can be only one!



It appears a certain amount of trust has been lost here because you don’t believe my super [anti] hero doppelganger is Harley Quinn.

Okay, let’s try this again.

Super [Anti] Hero Doppelganger Harley Quinn yay!


Harley Quinn, my super hero doppelganger


Me yay! [I get to “yay!” me, shut up.]


max adams



*I don’t make this stuff up, I got a lot of email from friends asking when the fuck I started acting again when they saw Suicide Squad promos. What I really want to know though is if I can figure out a way to coerce Margot Robbie into doing all my personal appearances and photo shoots in the future because she’s way better at make up than me.



national super hero day!

April 28, 2017



So apparently the thing today is to post your super hero doppelganger.

Harley is totally a super hero right?

Of course she is.

Yay!

Harley Quinn, my super hero doppelganger


My #doppleganger on #nationalsuperheroday


may writing frenzy!

April 26, 2017


Meme GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY



What’s up in May? Bunches. For one thing, we’ll find out whether the WGA and AMPTP come to an agreement on contracts or don’t — if they don’t, screenwriters are going on strike on May 2.

That has me a little tense.





The Academy Nicholl Fellowships in Screenwriting Competition deadline hits May 1. Ahhh!

Did you enter?





After you collapse post Nicholl deadline and WGA/AMPTP strike trauma, I’m teaching three master screenwriting classes that begin May 16:


:::THE ART OF THE PITCH:::

:::DIALOGUE WRITING:::

:::THE FIRST 30 PAGES:::


NO PRESSURE!

But you might want to grab those seats now if you are planning on attending, I’m seating those classes now.




*There are several other competition deadlines on the horizon to be aware of:

:::SCREENWRITING COMPETITIONS & DEADLINES 2017:::

Knock ’em dead.





debris & detritus deal!

April 26, 2017


Remember when I told you about the sassy anthology I contributed to, Debris & Detritus?

Of course you do, you are smart people and not forgetful.

Did you buy the book?

No?

Okay, not forgetful, but crazy people ahhh!

This is your lucky day though. The book is part of a hot anthology deal right now and if you jump fast you can get it for the amazing shocking price of $2.99.

Yes. $2.99. All kinds of anthology goodness for you for less than a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Yay!

If you get it now.

On May 1, that chance has flown.

You know you want it. Hit that:



summer ahoy!

April 26, 2017


I love this bathing suit. I’m pretty sure if I wear this bathing suit everyone will look at me oddly but I love it anyway.

Besides, everyone looks at me oddly anyway since I’m usually the only person in a one piece.

This is a two piece! I am so conforming!





Where I found that sassy suit: That’s on AliciaZenobia’s Etsy page and tragically at the moment is sold out.



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