hands of blue

April 11, 2018

Hands of Blue

 

 

Me staring in bathroom cupboard searching for cleaning products because the shower stall floor is looking not sparkley white and, to be truthful, a little hinky (Austin water is strange and not to be trusted, things water-esque in Austin turn orange if you do not stay on top of them):

Oops, all out of hinky-shower-type cleaning products, but look! A new bottle of Lysol toilet cleaning stuff yay!

I have not actually used this on a toilet yet, I just got it because the store was out of what I usually use on the toilet, but hey —

Surely, if it can clean a toilet bowl, it can clean a shower too, right?

 


 

I sluce blue Lysol goo about on the shower stall floor. The goo is a really arresting shade of blue. No worries. It does not stain toilets, right? As long as I don’t get any on my white shirt or the white bath mat all should be well.

I let it sit a bit. Then I scrub it around a bit. Just to be sure.

 


 

I don’t wear gloves. This, after all, is not a toilet bowl teaming with horrifying germ deposits from unspeakable elements that enter toilet bowls. This is the floor of a shower stall. How germy could it be?

(Shut up, not that germy, it’s a shower!)

 


 

I rinse the shower stall — using an overpriced shower sprayer thingy attachment that is very pretty but was still over priced but still is very handy for this task as long as I don’t accidentally splash blue goo onto the white bath mat or my white shirt.

I don’t.

Hooray!

 


 

The shower stall floor is lovely. So clean! So sparkley!

Then I try to rinse off my hand.

The hand I swirled and scrubbed the blue goo about with.

 


 

Who knew Lysol blue goo seriously stains organic materials? Organic materilals like, um, Max hands? Well not me, until, um, now.

 

Love and Kisses,

 

Your Hands of Blue Adams Girl

 


PS: If you see a short blonde about in Austin wearing gloves for no apparent reason, do not point and laugh. Damn you.

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pumpkin call to action

March 29, 2018

 

Pumpkin the Dog

Pumpkin the Dog could use your help. Pumpkin needs surgery and if you can contribute to Pumpkin’s surgery fund, please do.

Pumpkin and I go way back, as do Chesh and I. (I don’t want to call Chesh Pumpkin’s owner exactly, Chesh and Pumpkin are more like a team than like owner and pet.)

Max Adams & Pumpkin the Dog

If you’re an Austin Film Festival reg, you may know Pumpkin. Pumpkin is not just a pretty face, Pumkin is a service dog and has a job and has attended many Austin Film Festival events and get togethers. She is for sure more recognizable than I am, and also she carouses with high fallutin’ celebrities a lot more than I do.

(I suspect because she has way cuter ears than I do, dammit!)

Max Adams & Pumpkin the Dog Tool Around Austin

Pumpkin also has a cuter butt than I do, ahhh!

What’s happening right now though is, Chesh was injured in an accident that has cut her work and income in half and at the same time, Pumpkin has been diagnosed with a need for surgery. Which is bad timing in the extreme. And, Pumpkin needs your help.

 

Pumpkin the Dog

If you can, please contribute to Pumpkin’s surgery fund:

:::PUMPKIN SURGERY FUND:::

 

I love this like a shark loves blood:

savvy dogs!

January 14, 2018

Dogs in my building —

Are savvy. It’s very windy, sort of cold, most people taking the dogs out just want the dogs to go pee and to dash back inside. The dogs don’t mind the wind and cold, though. The dogs kind of like it and want to hang out outside longer. So the dogs hold it. Wander here, wander there, sniff this, sniff that. The owner will be hopping up and down rubbing hands together to stay warm saying, Hurry up! And the dog will just cock an ear at the owner, one brow raised, Like, Oh really? I think not… I think it’s nice, I think we’re going to hang out here just a bit longer.

 

2018 hair yay!

January 4, 2018

max hair january 2018 yay yay yay!

Oh Sweet Jesus

December 20, 2017

I have totally been neglecting you! Sorry about that. WordPress keeps making things weird. Which makes it harder and harder to show up here. But, let’s do this:

AFW [that’s my school, students and workshoppers) movers and shakers have been hitting it: :::afw movers and shakers:::

Yay!

January classes are coming up: :::hit that:::

5150 the online screenwriting workshop is full, but if you are insanely good I might take you anyway: :::5150 an Online International Screenwriting Workshop:::

I would totally take you, if you’re that crazy talented, btw.


*PS, also, I just did a fancy re-design on AFW. Check it out and tell me what you think.

Dear NASA

August 8, 2017


So I saw this application to a NASA position from Jack Davis [age 9]:

 

Jack Davis application to NASA

 

I immedately knew 2 things:

1: NASA was in trouble if it was considering job applications from 9 year olds.

2: I needed to follow Jack Davis’s lead writing to NASA applying for the planetary protection officer job, [eat my dust, Jack!]

 


NOT GATHERING ANY DUST [I AM A DUST FREE ZONE, TAKE NOTE, NASA]


 

I hit that right off. Yay!

 


 

August 8, 2017

 

Dear NASA: 

My name is Max Adams and I would like to apply for the Planetary Protection Officer position.

I saw Jack Davis’s response to your job ad and immediately knew you needed my assistance here since you are receiving applications from nine year olds and clearly probably need someone with a driver’s license on your side.

I have a driver’s license! Yay!

[I am so fit for the job. Also, noo pesky bus schedules. Yay!]

I have also watched Agents of Shield. AND Men in Black. [Eat my dust, Jack Davis.]

Also, I know a lot about microbes. I was tasked with eradicating microbes at an early age by a bi-polar OCD germaphobc my loving and caring mother and know all sorts of Lysol tricks.

Who needs hazmat suits when you have Lysol? Yay!

I so look forward to your response and am packing my bags in anticipation.

 

Love and Kisses,

Your New Planetary Protection Officer,

AKA That Adams Girl

 

PS: I live in Texas and am location friendly. [Haha Jack!] I am female so can coach aliens on asshat second hand citizen Congress shenanigans. [Yay!] ALSO, I am tan challenged so will meld right in with aliens trapped on a space ship with no sun for years [I get it aliens, I spend all my time missing the sun too] AND can explain the difference between “space alien white” and “local citizen alien brown” to ICE agents. Just like the President! Yay!

PPS: Okay maybe I am giving the President too much credit, but I got this!

 

 

lion dog

 

 

 

 

I’m talking to the guys who service an internet Verizon tower by the apartment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That tower scares the hell out of me.

Not because it’s there.

Because I’m afraid of heights and men climb it.

That to me is crazy, climbing that tower and working up there on top of it. That tower doesn’t even have a good ladder. Its ladder is just weird little metal spikes.

It’s the owls’ tower, too, and I wonder what the owls do when men are climbing their tower. I wonder where the owls go.

 


The guys I’m talking to are the guys on the ground with the dog.

The dog is their mascott. They take the dog to every job. They used to take a different dog to every job, they tell me. But that dog got old and earned its retirement so now that dog stays home and they bring the new dog to every job.

It’s a beautiful dog. A kind of lion of a dog. All brindled coat and muscles and blue eyes. The dog is only a few months old too. It’s a puppy right now and only about 100 or so pounds. I would have guessed 80. They say 100 for sure. It’s all muscle so that makes sense.

The dog [puppy really] will probably be more hundreds of pounds when it is grown. Already it is huge. And beautiful. Like I said, a lion more than a dog.

The guys are interesting. One guy is covered in tats. Most of them prison tats. In places it really hurts to get tats. Like fingers and arm pits. The other guy doesn’t have a lot of tats. His mother asked him to stop. His father had tats all over. His father is dead. He’s missing two teath. He loves his mother. He talks to her every day. He stopped getting tats. He never did time, I think.

Sometimes I wonder why people tell me all these things. They always have. When I tended bar, I thought maybe it was just because I was the body behind the bar. But, I don’t tend bar now. I’m just standing on my balcony, watching two guys with a dog go by. And they tell me these things. Because I like their dog. Because I am there.

I am some sort of secrets wisperer. People tell me their secrets. And their stories. 

That is a really beautiful dog.

 

 

 

Coming in July, online master screenwriting classes Character Writing and Visual Writing begin July 11th. Please register early to reserve your seat in class.

Character Writing, an online master class in screenwriting from the AFW

Visual Writing: An Online Master Screenwriting Class

 

hair yay day!

May 12, 2017

The hair day went so totally right yay! I was angsting out a little about cuts and color. In the end we went for a merge of this color and cut combo:

 

It so worked! Yay yay yay!Thank you Kate at Last Satellite yay!

 

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