dresses ahhh!

January 18, 2017

 

dresses!

OMG. Someone finally pegged me in an ad online.

Look at those dresses!

 

Responsible Max: No Max, no, your cash reserves are slated for software!

Unresponsible Max: Fuck software! Dresses yay!

 

Listen, I have a birthday in February that so warrants dress buying frenzy right?

I’m totally buying a dress. It will happen. There is no way it won’t. I might go unhinged and buy all the dresses yay!

Slow me down. Help!

Vote for your favorite dress!

Yay!

 

 

poor bastard

December 24, 2016

 

santa wants a nice suit

 

For ONE HUNDRED YEARS —

This guy has been pulling on his tatty little red outfit and showing up to spread joy and commerce and what did you leave him last year?

Cookies right? Maybe some milk?

Poor bastard.

This year leave cash.

And maybe a nice Men’s Warehouse gift certificate.

 

max’s 2017 wish list

December 24, 2016

 love

LOVE!

Love – Erm, make that healthy love and no psychopaths and also mutual.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time and also has a job and a car.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time and also has a job and a car and doesn’t stick me with the drinks bill and is funny and attractive to me.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual admiration and also doesn’t resent my job and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time and also has a job and a car and doesn’t stick me with the drinks bill and is funny and attractive to me and passion is good and also SINGLE which spelled out means no wife OR baby mamma at home.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual admiration and also doesn’t resent my job and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time and also has a job and a car and doesn’t stick me with the drinks bill and is funny and attractive to me and passion is good and also SINGLE which spelled out means no wife OR baby mamma at home and ALSO doesn’t have sex with strippers or compare me to his mother…

Maybe we should come back to love it is taking some work….

 


 

Adventure

ADVENTURE!

Adventure – Erm, maybe nothing involving risk to life or limb or life threatening events like explosions or riots or firearms.

Adventure – Erm, maybe nothing involving risk to life or limb or life threatening events like explosions or riots or firearms. Also no earthquakes or tornadoes or hurricanes or nuclear events or tidal waves.

Adventure – Erm, maybe nothing involving risk to life or limb or life threatening events like explosions or riots or firearms. Also no earthquakes or tornadoes or hurricanes or nuclear events or tidal waves. Also rip tides are bad also sinking boats are bad. Also floods are bad. Also no more kidnappers or serial killers. Also, altercations with bad police officers are bad (thought I forgot you didn’t you “officer” Sanders?, not so much). Also, no pepper spray or sound cannons? Also no unexpected visits to ER rooms. Also no BEARS or attack friendly wildlife – okay could we just skip adventures they are not normally very fun.
 



 
SHUT UP! NEW YEAR’S WISH LISTS ARE HARD!

 

merry christmas you animals

December 24, 2016

 

 

toxic plutonium rat urine!

December 21, 2016

  

Banksy Rat
  
 
Once upon a time an excitable friend sent me an email forward.

“Toxic rat radioactive urine on Coca Cola cans killing people!”

He was worried about my health. I drink a lot of Coca Cola. He meant well.

He was not happy with me when I said, “You know, rat urine is not toxic or radioactive right? Gross, yes, but not toxic or radioactive.”
 


 
I just saw a link on Facebook about 10 year olds leaving the Catholic Church. “10 year olds leaving the Catholic faith!” Very excitable yes?

The article says these 10 year olds [who are in 4th grade or some such] are leaving the Catholic faith because of what they learned in High School and University.

You guys all know 10 year olds are not in high school or university right?

They are in fucking grammar school!
 


 
There is a point at which, if you are not on a 3rd grader’s playground [or a 3rd grader] you are supposed to assume the mantle of adulthood and logic.

That’s not asking a lot people.

Rat urine is not poisonous. Or radioactive. Gross, yes. Poisonous or radioactive? Not.

10 years olds do not attend high school and university classes.

Not in any universe I attended grammar school in any way.

 


 

Stop. Think.

For fuck’s sake.

 

anthology ahoy!

December 20, 2016


Remember when I told you I have a story coming out in an anthololy? Well there was a slight publication delay but the anthology Debris & Detritus: The Lesser Greek Gods Running Amok has arrived. Yay!

Okay almost arrived, it technically arrives on February 10th. It is availalbe for pre-purchase now however. And it contains my sassy story The Night I Shot Johnny Valentine. Yay!

Also look at the cover. Ooh, ahh, pretty!


Debris & Detritus: The Lesser Greek Gods Running Amok



bear!

December 11, 2016

Yours truly is teaming up with Stage 32 again to bring you a new Stage 32 Next Level Webinar: Mastering Story Momentum: How to Jump Start Dramatic Tension & Pacing.

Here’s the intro clip.

 

Hope you can make it.

 

Smooches.

 

~ m

 

:::FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE MASTERING STORY MOMENTUM WEBINAR::

 

norma talmage max!

October 30, 2016

This is really fun to me. I posted this photo [which originally featured silent film star Norma Talmage] saying, Oh yez, that is what I want to be. Then I got taunted. So I photoshopped me into the photo.

[I don’t really use Photoshop. I hate Photoshop. But it has become a verb easier to use than, what? Graphics manipulation?]

 

Max: Bow, Puny Weeklings!

Bow! Bow! Bow before me, puny mortals! Yay!

 

photo day!

September 20, 2016

cute hair september 2016

%d bloggers like this: