You knew it would not end with SeeMaxRun, right? Of course not. The real goal was to vevamp the AFW site I just got sidetracked along the way.  So now AFW is revamped. It is a work in progress but it is coming together. Stop by and tell me what you think.

 

afw_revamp_screenshot

 

 

seemaxrun.com

So for no reason other than sometime around 2 AM the other night I didn’t feel like reading one more script I went on a rampage and took apart seemaxrun and rebuilt it. I think it’s pretty — of course I like lots of white. It’s not done yet, either, but the bones are there. What do you think? http://seemaxrun.com

story board whut?

June 17, 2015

 

I am always seeing these crazy story boards posted online by writers. They are very ordered and very detailed and very complex and to me look like time outlines for a NASA space mission or a chores list put up for a military camp.

Here is one of those crazy story boards:

Screen shot 2015-06-17 at 5.45.25 PM

Here is my story board:

max_story_board

I guess my story board should be embarrassed by the bigger more glamorous story boards but it isn’t. My story board says, Fuck off, it doesn’t do manual labor.

 

clear vs. the moon

April 7, 2015

 

Clear vs. The Moon

 

Clear is so not working out at the new place. I talked to a nice customer support rep online today who changed my account address and copied and pasted the site’s online trouble shooting advice into our chat window.

Thanks, Nomine M.

That didn’t fix a bad internet Clear signal I’ve been fighting since December that keeps getting worse. And that is with an extra boost from an Apple wireless base station I dug out that is the ONLY tenuous reason Clear is working intermittently at all now.

Ahhhh!

 


 

So, Clear’s out.

 


 

Clear being out means my internet options are —

Buy a new modem that works with an antennae and hope that will fix the Clear problem.

[I am skeptical. Clear recently got bought out by Sprint which was the beginning of the end for things Clear working. Also I hate Sprint they overcharged my elderly mother in nefarious ways once and wouldn’t fix it and made her cry.]

OR —

Pick between Grande, AT&T Uverse, or Time Warner Cable.

 


 

Time Warner Cable will never collect another dime from me. I hate Time Warner Cable like Billy Graham hates Satan.

That leaves, unless there is some godsend service I don’t know about, AT&T Uverse, or Grande.

 


 

Online reviews for Grande are wildly divergent. Some reviews are shaking tambourines shouting, Grande! Grande! Grande! Others are shouting, Burn in Hell, Grande! Grande! Grande!

The thing I keep reading in negative reviews that is consistent though is dead internet reception.

I can’t do that.

 


 

The building uses Uverse, which appears to always work and is my backup when Clear goes so toes up I can’t work in the apartment and have to hit the building’s lounge for a working signal.

AT&T also though wants long term contracts and hundreds of bucks in installation and other fees and every time I look at all the stuff AT&T wants I feel like I’m a Native American standing on New York shores and some oily European just off a wooden ship is handing me glass beads.

 


 

I just keep staring at it all thinking, Seriously?

A guy in 1969 could dial home from the moon, but in 2015 Clear can’t keep an internet signal up a few blocks from my apartment and it takes $300 bucks and a commitment longer than a Baptist wedding to get an AT&T signal?

 

 

#TheDress, modeled by Sauerkraut of the Central Oklahoma Humane Society

#TheDress, modeled by Sauerkraut of the Central Oklahoma Humane Society

 

that was helpful?

January 30, 2015

 

I’m always seeing posts online places like FaceBook along the lines of, “If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?”

People give deep insightful emotional words of encouragement.

People give little warnings about the future.

How come no one ever says something REALLY useful like, you know, “BUY STOCK IN MICROSOFT!”?

 


*I stand corrected, one other person did, yay, Sparkle!

 

my sundance doppelganger

January 26, 2015

 

Over on Twitter @Variety posted a gallery thing and there’s this photo of this woman in there with no name [okay she has a name, Margot Robbie] and — she looks like me.

doppelganger_jan2015

Yeah yeah yeah, I know, usually I have duckface and am eating a hotdog in shots of me.

max_hollywood_hotdog_400

But she does look like me.

Damn you, @Variety, there can be only one!

 


 

[Unless she has a really spectacular expense account, that might be useful.]

[Also I really need to up my game and start looking all sultry instead of hungry for hot dogs in photos.]

[The above hotdog photo was taken by Chesh.]

 

 

 

storage_records

 

I have boxes of documents. I mean, boxes. And more boxes. And more boxes. I have been paying storage or making storage everywhere I go, for years, to accommodate these boxes.

 

The documents are important. Contracts, quotes, tax records, clips — they are important.  But —

 

I keep carrying these damn boxes of records around and I.  Just. Don’t. Want. All. These. Boxes.

 


A friend of mind, a lawyer, spent a year using all his spare time to scan documents. I know why he did it. He was clearing the boxes.

 

I think, Oh sure, that’s a good idea, but can I really face scanning —

 

ALL. THESE. DOCUMENTS?

 


[Oh fuck no.]

 


Then I remind myself I am just one small enterprise and he had an entire legal practice he was scanning, maybe I shouldn’t be such a baby.

 

Then I remind myself, one big hard drive mix up and they’d all go poof – or, you know, one EMP?

 


[Wait, an EMP might take the IRS out too though, making tax docs an unnecessary thing of the past ooh la la.  Oops.  Sorry, IRS, I am just not your biggest fan.]
 

 

#freecheese

November 24, 2014

 

Mouse in Maze
 
If Facebook insists on conducting these “social experiments” I say we all riot for free cheese.

[All lab animals are entitled to free cheese, dammit!]

[I am partial to Baby Swiss, myself.]

Also I have our fight song:  Anatole!  Anatole!  Anatole!

 


*PS:  Also my friend Timothy pointed out it would be inhumane to offer cheese without wine and crackers.  Free cheese AND wine and crackers for everyone!  Anatole!  Anatole!  Anatole!

 


:::FACEBOOK EXPERIMENTS ON USERS:::

#FREECHEESE

 

the value of joy

October 3, 2014

 

raccoon-holding-cat_200_cbSometimes I post —

A photo or story on Facebook that to me is —

Just fucking awesome and funny and intriguing and I don’t care if it’s true or not.

A raccoon carrying a kitten meme?

That to me is hilarious and wonderful. Yay!

 


 

Then —

Someone shows up.

“Oh that’s totally photoshopped.”

Or,

“Oh that’s totally not true here are 50 facts from the table of elements to prove that is wrong.”

 


 

I sit there stunned.

[And not for the right reasons, you robotic asshole fact checkers.]

 


 

Some things in this world and on the internet are just funny and wonderful and don’t have to make sense. A meme of a raccoon carrying a kitten will not make a single difference in wars or deaths or school lunches for little kids who will starve to death if the little kids don’t get those lunches —

But that meme will, for a moment, make me smile.

 


 

Stop trying to kill the smiles, you assholes.

 

Sometimes that is all we have.

 

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