March 1, 2015
January 30, 2015
I’m always seeing posts online places like FaceBook along the lines of, “If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?”
People give deep insightful emotional words of encouragement.
People give little warnings about the future.
How come no one ever says something REALLY useful like, you know, “BUY STOCK IN MICROSOFT!”?
*I stand corrected, one other person did, yay, Sparkle!
January 26, 2015
Yeah yeah yeah, I know, usually I have duckface and am eating a hotdog in shots of me.
But she does look like me.
Damn you, @Variety, there can be only one!
[Unless she has a really spectacular expense account, that might be useful.]
[Also I really need to up my game and start looking all sultry instead of hungry for hot dogs in photos.]
[The above hotdog photo was taken by Chesh.]
December 17, 2014
I have boxes of documents. I mean, boxes. And more boxes. And more boxes. I have been paying storage or making storage everywhere I go, for years, to accommodate these boxes.
The documents are important. Contracts, quotes, tax records, clips — they are important. But —
I keep carrying these damn boxes of records around and I. Just. Don’t. Want. All. These. Boxes.
A friend of mind, a lawyer, spent a year using all his spare time to scan documents. I know why he did it. He was clearing the boxes.
I think, Oh sure, that’s a good idea, but can I really face scanning —
ALL. THESE. DOCUMENTS?
[Oh fuck no.]
Then I remind myself I am just one small enterprise and he had an entire legal practice he was scanning, maybe I shouldn’t be such a baby.
Then I remind myself, one big hard drive mix up and they’d all go poof – or, you know, one EMP?
[Wait, an EMP might take the IRS out too though, making tax docs an unnecessary thing of the past ooh la la. Oops. Sorry, IRS, I am just not your biggest fan.]
October 3, 2014
A photo or story on Facebook that to me is —
Just fucking awesome and funny and intriguing and I don’t care if it’s true or not.
A raccoon carrying a kitten meme?
That to me is hilarious and wonderful. Yay!
Someone shows up.
“Oh that’s totally photoshopped.”
“Oh that’s totally not true here are 50 facts from the table of elements to prove that is wrong.”
I sit there stunned.
[And not for the right reasons, you robotic asshole fact checkers.]
Some things in this world and on the internet are just funny and wonderful and don’t have to make sense. A meme of a raccoon carrying a kitten will not make a single difference in wars or deaths or school lunches for little kids who will starve to death if the little kids don’t get those lunches —
But that meme will, for a moment, make me smile.
Stop trying to kill the smiles, you assholes.
Sometimes that is all we have.
September 20, 2014
Ohyez, in my continued efforts to make the internetz a better place one kilt at a time….
Dear Internetz: You’re welcome.
August 24, 2014
I stopped over on ScriptChat tonight. It’s a Twitter thing, everyone hits one website [the ScriptChat website] and then chats it up and the site automatically adds a hashtag, #scriptchat to the conversation. Which all plays out on Twitter like Twitter comments.
[If you are not on Twitter, that will all be Mars speak to you. Sorry. Maybe you should get out more. Hmm.]
Sometimes there are guests. I have been a guest. This scriptchat there was no topic or guest, but I had a Sunday night off and thought I’d go see what people were talking about.
They were talking about “prep work.”
Oh sweet Holy Fucking Jesus. Seriously? Prep. Work?
Okay, creatives, let me put this plainly and succinctly. Artists and writers do not do “prep work.”
Busboys and busgirls in restaurants do “prep work.” Lower level chefs do “prep work.” 8 AM bartenders do “prep work.” Folding napkins, polishing silverware, slicing up limes? That’s “prep work.”
Screenwriters don’t do fucking “prep work.”