poor bastard

 

 

For ONE HUNDRED YEARS —

This guy has been pulling on his tatty little red outfit and showing up to spread joy and commerce and what did you leave him last year?

Cookies right? Maybe some milk?

Poor bastard.

This year leave cash.

And maybe a nice Men’s Warehouse gift certificate.

 

max’s 2017 wish list

 

LOVE!

Love – Erm, make that healthy love and no psychopaths and also mutual.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time and also has a job and a car.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time and also has a job and a car and doesn’t stick me with the drinks bill and is funny and attractive to me.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual admiration and also doesn’t resent my job and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time and also has a job and a car and doesn’t stick me with the drinks bill and is funny and attractive to me and passion is good and also SINGLE which spelled out means no wife OR baby mamma at home.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual admiration and also doesn’t resent my job and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time and also has a job and a car and doesn’t stick me with the drinks bill and is funny and attractive to me and passion is good and also SINGLE which spelled out means no wife OR baby mamma at home and ALSO doesn’t have sex with strippers or compare me to his mother…

Maybe we should come back to love it is taking some work….

 

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ADVENTURE!

Adventure – Erm, maybe nothing involving risk to life or limb or life threatening events like explosions or riots or firearms.

Adventure – Erm, maybe nothing involving risk to life or limb or life threatening events like explosions or riots or firearms. Also no earthquakes or tornadoes or hurricanes or nuclear events or tidal waves.

Adventure – Erm, maybe nothing involving risk to life or limb or life threatening events like explosions or riots or firearms. Also no earthquakes or tornadoes or hurricanes or nuclear events or tidal waves. Also rip tides are bad also sinking boats are bad. Also floods are bad. Also no more kidnappers or serial killers. Also, altercations with bad police officers are bad (thought I forgot you didn’t you “officer” Sanders?, not so much). Also, no pepper spray or sound cannons? Also no unexpected visits to ER rooms. Also no BEARS or attack friendly wildlife – okay could we just skip adventures they are not normally very fun.
 

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SHUT UP! NEW YEAR’S WISH LISTS ARE HARD!

 

merry christmas you animals

 

 

september!

 

September is mildly crazed because I have two weeks off in late August early September between AFW classes to do just about everything I don’t have time to do while AFW classes are in session. So, it’s time off — with no time off.

 

This is not a bad thing. Part of what I need to do between classes is re-watch movies for classes and such. And also catch up on movies. Oh the horror! [Not really. This is part of the best part of my job.]

 

Classes do start back up September 13th and I should tell you about those. On the horizon, High Concept Writing AND The First 30 Pages. You should check them out.

 

 

Save

Save

#forcedfamilyfun

 

There is this hashtag on Twitter #ForcedFamilyFun that is brilliant — which is totally surprising.

Hashtag #ForcedFamilyFun was started by a TBS TV show sponsor [The Detour] and usually those crash and burn hard — but not this time.

I do not know if the show is any good I have never watched it but this time the show peeps got it so right and that hashtag stream should be funny as hell. Except  —

All these weird ass dysfunctional people [mostly parents uh ohs] are showing up and tweeting THEY HAVE FUN AND IT’S NOT FORCED!

I am not sure whether to file that under “irony” or “delusion” or “Wow Detour peeps that was totally a brilliant funny hashtag that should have worked clearly the internetz gods hate you I am so sorry.”

BUT!

It did inspire me to dig out a childhood photo.

EASTER PORTRAIT: #ForcedFamilyFun

 

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happy easter, internetz

happy groundhog day

 

 

veteran’s day

 

I am never quite sure —

What to say on Veteran’s Day. As an American I apparently have a histrionic duty to thank all soldiers for defending “America” and “freedom” and “democracy.”

But. America is pretty much in the tank, elections are a sham, as is “democracy” which for sure is not what we are exporting these days, let alone exercising at home, and “freedom”? The US prison industry is a for profit Wall Street commodity that makes its profits stuffing more American citizens into prison cells. We’ve got so many incarcerated American citizens today we scare the red Chinese. Freedom my ass.

Here is what I will say:

 

Dear US Soldiers and Veterans:

Thank you for risking your life and welfare to protect and defend a nation that has a government that does not value you enough, does not pay you enough, does not take care of you after service enough, and continues to send you into lethal combat that is not justified enough to risk your limbs, life, and blood on foreign soil.

I honor you, I give my love and respect to you. I apologize for my government’s gross misuse of you.

May we change this in the future. May we protect our troops on foreign soil and on home soil. May we bring you home.

And may we bring you home soon.

 

That Adams Girl
 

how to enjoy pumpkin beer

Step 1: Throw pumpkin beer in trash.
Step 2: Pour real beer.
Step 3: Drink real beer.

happy father’s day

 

This never gets old to me.

Happy Father’s Day.