marketing genius!

June 5, 2014

 

magnify

 

According to my inbox, men are interested in:

•Hot Asian chicks
•Hot Russian chicks
•Hot Filipino chicks

AND MONSTROUSLY LARGER PENISES!

 


 

I cannot be Russian, Filipino, or Asian, but —

GENIUS!

I can totally sell larger penises.

 


 

All you have to put in the box is a magnifying glass and instructions to not use it in direct sunlight, right?

I am going to be so rich.

Yay!

 

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Apparently I have upset a bunch of “nice guys” by re-posting the David Wong essay and now they are gathered on another board dedicated to “no hate talk” calling me ignorant and stupid, among other things. Fun!

As long as people are all riled up though, here is Louis CK’s observations on women dating. [Louis CK is way more fun than a bunch of self proclaimed “nice guys” I don’t know calling me an ignorant slut.]

 

 

bad dates

December 13, 2010

 

No, that is not a Raiders quote —

“Date” dates as in the tragic courting ritual our society has melded into an extreme form of torture involving a man and a woman — or, if you aren’t straight, two people of the same gender — who are somehow trapped in the same room together with a suggestion romance might in some way ensue from the experience of small talk and chewing lettuce while surreptitiously checking your teeth to make sure there is nothing stuck on them that might make you look like a glaring dork to your prospective soul mate.

For some reason, people think of me when they hear about bad dates. I have no idea why –– okay I do but I am not telling — but I get lots of links and anecdotes. This started on FB tonight and mildly snow balled and I am not one to miss an opportunity to post something that requires the bare minimum of typing and wit from me so you get the benefit of the bad date snow flurry. Yay!

 

•from david l: :::The Italian from Brooklyn:::
[really this is all David’s fault too he started it]
•from raincoaster: :::Worst Date Ever, AKA Dear Rebecca:::
•from max: :::Breadsticks from Hell:::
•from tommy t: :::A Wink & a Slap:::
•from max: :::Run Olga Run!:::
•from teddy z: :::How Not to Act on J-Date:::

 


*Did you hit all the links? Do not be a fool! Hit those links!

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from garron nicholls

the winners!

October 1, 2010

 

On this day of —

October 1st, on or about the strike of Cinderella midnight, I hereby unveil the winners of the great date essay competition. Yay!

:::the winners:::

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from john carroll doyle

 

Probably my favorite favorite cartoon in the whole world happy Valentine’s Day yay!

 

vitamin stud

 

 

where that comic is from :
that is from cyanide and happiness at explosm.net

 

Ahem —

Things Men Shouldn’t Do On Dates :

Announce you broke up with your long time steady three days ago — in the car before your date’s seatbelt is on or you turn the engine on.

Tell your date you are on a budget — suggest she stick to the house salad and breadsticks.

Suggest your date wear high heels — then suggest a [long] [budget friendly] walk after salad & breadsticks dinner.

 


*feel free to contribute additions….

 

mary janes

May 23, 2009

 

mary_janes_iI wonder —

If I should start dating again.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from kristamas is abducted by aliens

preferably over eighteen

February 24, 2009

 

Reasons not to internet date….

 


 

where i found that reason not to online date :
i found that incentive at rain’s

going italian

February 7, 2009

 

psyche_kissIt is almost —

Valentine’s Day and still no boyfriend [oh no!] so I had better get on task here. Fortunately for me there are quizzes to tell me just who and what I should be looking for in a man too. Yay!

 


You Should Date An Italian

You love for old fashioned romance, with an old fashioned guy. An Italian guy is the perfect candidate to be your prince charming. If your head doesn’t spin enough, just down another espresso with him. Invest in a motorcycle helmet — and some carb blocker for all that pasta!

[Hey I am not responsible for that grammar that is the quiz I suspect it was written by an Italian. Hey, wait a minute….]

:::which foreign guy should you date:::

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from siggito

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