pumpkin call to action

March 29, 2018

 

Pumpkin the Dog

Pumpkin the Dog could use your help. Pumpkin needs surgery and if you can contribute to Pumpkin’s surgery fund, please do.

Pumpkin and I go way back, as do Chesh and I. (I don’t want to call Chesh Pumpkin’s owner exactly, Chesh and Pumpkin are more like a team than like owner and pet.)

Max Adams & Pumpkin the Dog

If you’re an Austin Film Festival reg, you may know Pumpkin. Pumpkin is not just a pretty face, Pumkin is a service dog and has a job and has attended many Austin Film Festival events and get togethers. She is for sure more recognizable than I am, and also she carouses with high fallutin’ celebrities a lot more than I do.

(I suspect because she has way cuter ears than I do, dammit!)

Max Adams & Pumpkin the Dog Tool Around Austin

Pumpkin also has a cuter butt than I do, ahhh!

What’s happening right now though is, Chesh was injured in an accident that has cut her work and income in half and at the same time, Pumpkin has been diagnosed with a need for surgery. Which is bad timing in the extreme. And, Pumpkin needs your help.

 

Pumpkin the Dog

If you can, please contribute to Pumpkin’s surgery fund:

:::PUMPKIN SURGERY FUND:::

 

good travels, sol

July 26, 2015

 

david and sol feldthouse

From left to right, brothers David Feldthouse & Sol Feldthouse performing.

 

My cousin Sol left us on July 24th, 2015.

It will be a sadder world for the lack of him.

Good travels wherever your next journey takes you Sol.

I love you.

 

my cousin sol

July 23, 2015

Sol_1_txt Sol_2_txt Sol_3_txt

Sol Feldthouse left us July 24th, 2015

marketing genius!

June 5, 2014

 

magnify

 

According to my inbox, men are interested in:

•Hot Asian chicks
•Hot Russian chicks
•Hot Filipino chicks

AND MONSTROUSLY LARGER PENISES!

 


 

I cannot be Russian, Filipino, or Asian, but —

GENIUS!

I can totally sell larger penises.

 


 

All you have to put in the box is a magnifying glass and instructions to not use it in direct sunlight, right?

I am going to be so rich.

Yay!

 

“nice guys” finish last

February 17, 2014

 

The article I’m about to point you to, 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person, really needs to be circulated, and circulated widely, for the benefit of men.  I say “for men” because most women don’t actually need to hear it.  Women, in general, have known for centuries you need to bring skills to a relationship.  Those skills can be anything from cooking well to cleaning house well to raising children well to looking great to giving a really good blowjob, but when push comes to shove, those are all skills, and women have them, work at them, and know you have to have them.

The people who don’t appear to know you need to have them are men.  Which is why you don’t see a bunch of women sitting around whining about how men don’t date nice women — but you see a crapload of guys sitting around whining saying just that:  “Women don’t date nice guys.”

Putting aside the fact an awful lot of guys I have heard say that are actually shitheads and not “nice” at all, and the fact guys bitching about men with money getting all the dates — yes, that guy brings a skill to the table, he can take a woman to nice restaurants — or that men with looks get all the dates — that is another skill set, taking care of the bod and appearance, a skill set that is in large part lost on the male inhabitants of Austin, delicate cough — these guys seem to think being “nice” just means, well, you don’t black your girlfriend’s eye on Friday night.

Bad news guys.  If the only skill set you bring to the relationship table is “I won’t give you a black eye,” you have a ways to go.  So here for your benefit:

 

6 HARSH TRUTHS THAT WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON

~ by David Wong

 

2014, motherfuckers. Yeah! LET’S DO THIS.

“Do what?” you ask. I DON’T KNOW. LET’S FIGURE THAT OUT TOGETHER, MOTHERFUCKERS.

Feel free to stop reading this if your career is going great, you’re thrilled with your life, and you’re happy with your relationships. Enjoy the rest of your day, friend, this article is not for you. You’re doing a great job, we’re all proud of you. So you don’t feel like you wasted your click, here’s a picture of Lenny Kravitz wearing a gigantic scarf.

Via Upscalehype.com

For the rest of you, I want you to try something: Name five impressive things about yourself. Write them down or just shout them out loud to the room. But here’s the catch — you’re not allowed to list anything you are (i.e., I’m a nice guy, I’m honest), but instead can only list things that you do (i.e., I just won a national chess tournament, I make the best chili in Massachusetts). If you found that difficult, well, this is for you, and you are going to fucking hate hearing it. My only defense is that this is what I wish somebody had said to me around 1995 or so.

 

#6. The World Only Cares About What It Can Get from You

Let’s say that the person you love the most has just been shot. He or she is lying in the street, bleeding and screaming. A guy rushes up and says, “Step aside.” He looks over your loved one’s bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife — he’s going to operate right there in the street.

Getty
“OK, which one is the injured one?”

You ask, “Are you a doctor?”

The guy says, “No.”

You say, “But you know what you’re doing, right? You’re an old Army medic, or …”

At this point the guy becomes annoyed. He tells you that he is a nice guy, he is honest, he is always on time. He tells you that he is a great son to his mother and has a rich life full of fulfilling hobbies, and he boasts that he never uses foul language.

Confused, you say, “How does any of that fucking matter when my [wife/husband/best friend/parent] is lying here bleeding! I need somebody who knows how to operate on bullet wounds! Can you do that or not?!?”

Now the man becomes agitated — why are you being shallow and selfish? Do you not care about any of his other good qualities? Didn’t you just hear him say that he always remembers his girlfriend’s birthday? In light of all of the good things he does, does it really matter if he knows how to perform surgery?

In that panicked moment, you will take your bloody hands and shake him by the shoulders, screaming, “Yes, I’m saying that none of that other shit matters, because in this specific situation, I just need somebody who can stop the bleeding, you crazy fucking asshole.”

 

 

squirrel_banjoThere is a knock on the door.

It is the balcony door and the balcony is several feet off the ground and also barricaded so not a normal entrance way.

I open the door.

It is the squirrel.

 


I think maybe I’m not ready to get quite this close to the squirrel so I close the door and give him some space.

 


The next time I open the balcony door, there is a ginormous acorn on the door step.

 


There are two ways to interpret this:

One: A ginormous acorn fell on the balcony and the squirrel was on his way to retrieve it when I rudely interrupted him by opening the door.

Two: The squirrel left me a present.

 


Who knew squirrels were so romantic?

 


PS: Because I know at least half the people out there — and probably more — think I am overly imaginative and make this stuff up to be whimsical, here is a photo of the ginormous acorn the squirrel left me as a present. (It is next to a lighter too for scale.)

squirrel_gift

 

pup love

May 28, 2013

 

I just really love this photo. I thought you might too.

pup_love_bw

 

 

There is a woman —

Who walks a big yellow dog past my place. She always wears a nice dress and shoes. She is always quiet and frowning a little. Tonight she and her yellow dog went by with a nice man. You could tell he was nice because he had a good smile and that sort of good timber in his voice that says someone has heart and he bent his head just so to listen when she talked. And she was laughing and smiling and suddenly pretty. I love that. I hope he walks with her and her dog again.

 


where that art work comes from :
that is from the inktracks blog

 

 

 

 

This is way too good not to share. Roscoe & Suryia :

 

 

:::about the tiger preserve:::

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