the demon russian strikes

 

So there I am innocently enjoying randomness —

At Solnushka’s. Feeling all smug Solnushka is tagged and has to come up with eight random things and I do not have to come up with anything random I am even feeling mildly sympathetic and also admiring her whimsy when WHAMMO danger words appear —

“I tag Max.”

There is a link. I check it. It is not some other Max. It is me. I am tagged.

[Damn. You. Solnushka.]

The tag is: Eight Random Things.

You know random is hard right?

It does not say random about me though. It just says random. That or I was not paying enough attention. Which could happen. Here are eight random things —

1. A dog lives next door. The dog gets lonely sometimes. But it is a nice dog. It does not howl. It just woofs the lonely woof. Once. Maybe twice. When it is happy it plays. I can hear it playing, chasing something. I do not mind hearing a dog do a lonely woof and I really like hearing a dog play.

2. A cat lives downstairs in a corner unit. Usually I see the cat in the window above the glass wall/windows when I am coming in through the alley in back. Mark does not think I should use the alley. He calls it Murder Alley because a guy got killed there a while back. I only use that alley during the day.

3. Marilyn Monroe’s star is at Highland and Hollywood Blvd. Sometimes I walk past it. She lived with my grandmother back when she was a kid and just Norma Jean and my grandmother was a kid and just still alive.

4. There is a woman at the Hollywood post office who always talks to people too much which holds up the line. She is so nice though you sort of cannot get mad about it. She is even nice to total assholes who are trying to be rude but she is so nice it does not work out and they end up being polite back.

5. Big Bird has a star at Sycamore and Hollywood Blvd. I sort of disapprove of the concept of Big Bird having a star in general. Marilyn should not have to share status with a seven foot tall nurf puppet.

6. The cashier at the Hollywood Rite Aid got hit by a bus. Interestingly, that did not do her a whole lot of harm. Some harm. She was sore. But still walking and talking and also doing the cashier thing. Usually if a bus hits you you are toast. I think maybe she is blessed.

7. The Hollywood Rite Aid is not actually a Rite Aid any more. It is now CVS. Probably CVS would be mad I am calling CVS “Rite Aid.” Probably CVS would be more mad if they knew the reason their shrubs do not thrive is I dropped off all my mystery snails in their greenery.

8. The last undergarments I bought [this was really what all this was about, right?, someone wanted to know the color of my underwear?] were Pinks low rider hipster cotton briefs from Victoria’s Secret. They are white with a little white dog in a pink circle. You get a deal if you buy five at a time.

Why eight, I wonder?

Oh yeah. I tag….

Stilletto, Anita Marie, Jen, Vanessa, Sulya, Miss Pants, Toni, Woeful, Firm, and Valliant.

[ps : okay now i am really annoyed not only can i not post on my own damn site without my posts being sent to spam, forget posting on any other site, now my damn block quotes do not work either — formatting chagrin to ensue and there will be hitting and yelling make popcorn]

[pps : now the blockquotes work i wonder if they will take me out of the spam box any time soon]