Dear NASA

August 8, 2017


So I saw this application to a NASA position from Jack Davis [age 9]:

 

Jack Davis application to NASA

 

I immedately knew 2 things:

1: NASA was in trouble if it was considering job applications from 9 year olds.

2: I needed to follow Jack Davis’s lead writing to NASA applying for the planetary protection officer job, [eat my dust, Jack!]

 


NOT GATHERING ANY DUST [I AM A DUST FREE ZONE, TAKE NOTE, NASA]


 

I hit that right off. Yay!

 


 

August 8, 2017

 

Dear NASA: 

My name is Max Adams and I would like to apply for the Planetary Protection Officer position.

I saw Jack Davis’s response to your job ad and immediately knew you needed my assistance here since you are receiving applications from nine year olds and clearly probably need someone with a driver’s license on your side.

I have a driver’s license! Yay!

[I am so fit for the job. Also, noo pesky bus schedules. Yay!]

I have also watched Agents of Shield. AND Men in Black. [Eat my dust, Jack Davis.]

Also, I know a lot about microbes. I was tasked with eradicating microbes at an early age by a bi-polar OCD germaphobc my loving and caring mother and know all sorts of Lysol tricks.

Who needs hazmat suits when you have Lysol? Yay!

I so look forward to your response and am packing my bags in anticipation.

 

Love and Kisses,

Your New Planetary Protection Officer,

AKA That Adams Girl

 

PS: I live in Texas and am location friendly. [Haha Jack!] I am female so can coach aliens on asshat second hand citizen Congress shenanigans. [Yay!] ALSO, I am tan challenged so will meld right in with aliens trapped on a space ship with no sun for years [I get it aliens, I spend all my time missing the sun too] AND can explain the difference between “space alien white” and “local citizen alien brown” to ICE agents. Just like the President! Yay!

PPS: Okay maybe I am giving the President too much credit, but I got this!

 



It appears a certain amount of trust has been lost here because you don’t believe my super [anti] hero doppelganger is Harley Quinn.

Okay, let’s try this again.

Super [Anti] Hero Doppelganger Harley Quinn yay!


Harley Quinn, my super hero doppelganger


Me yay! [I get to “yay!” me, shut up.]


max adams



*I don’t make this stuff up, I got a lot of email from friends asking when the fuck I started acting again when they saw Suicide Squad promos. What I really want to know though is if I can figure out a way to coerce Margot Robbie into doing all my personal appearances and photo shoots in the future because she’s way better at make up than me.



national super hero day!

April 28, 2017



So apparently the thing today is to post your super hero doppelganger.

Harley is totally a super hero right?

Of course she is.

Yay!

Harley Quinn, my super hero doppelganger


My #doppleganger on #nationalsuperheroday


summer ahoy!

April 26, 2017


I love this bathing suit. I’m pretty sure if I wear this bathing suit everyone will look at me oddly but I love it anyway.

Besides, everyone looks at me oddly anyway since I’m usually the only person in a one piece.

This is a two piece! I am so conforming!





Where I found that sassy suit: That’s on AliciaZenobia’s Etsy page and tragically at the moment is sold out.



 

Debris & Detritus: The Lesser Greek Gods Running Amok - Adams

 


 

Nancy Bilyeau on Debris & Detritus

:::more nancy bilyeau:::


 

Debris & Detritus, the lesser Greek gods running amok -- a fantasy anthology collection of short stories

 

 

jayne cobb day!

February 14, 2017

I know most of you animals think this is a day about wine and roses but not for me.

Jayne Cobb Day!

Jayne Cobb Day Yay!

max mas!

February 12, 2017

This is my favorite birthday card.

 

Happy Birthday Max from Debi Yazbeck and Towanda Yazcat

 

It is not every day you get a handwritten card from the ever famous Towanda Yazcat. Yay!

 

See you animals on the other side. Smooch!

dresses ahhh!

January 18, 2017

 

dresses!

OMG. Someone finally pegged me in an ad online.

Look at those dresses!

 

Responsible Max: No Max, no, your cash reserves are slated for software!

Unresponsible Max: Fuck software! Dresses yay!

 

Listen, I have a birthday in February that so warrants dress buying frenzy right?

I’m totally buying a dress. It will happen. There is no way it won’t. I might go unhinged and buy all the dresses yay!

Slow me down. Help!

Vote for your favorite dress!

Yay!

 

 

poor bastard

December 24, 2016

 

santa wants a nice suit

 

For ONE HUNDRED YEARS —

This guy has been pulling on his tatty little red outfit and showing up to spread joy and commerce and what did you leave him last year?

Cookies right? Maybe some milk?

Poor bastard.

This year leave cash.

And maybe a nice Men’s Warehouse gift certificate.

 

max’s 2017 wish list

December 24, 2016

 love

LOVE!

Love – Erm, make that healthy love and no psychopaths and also mutual.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time and also has a job and a car.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time and also has a job and a car and doesn’t stick me with the drinks bill and is funny and attractive to me.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual admiration and also doesn’t resent my job and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time and also has a job and a car and doesn’t stick me with the drinks bill and is funny and attractive to me and passion is good and also SINGLE which spelled out means no wife OR baby mamma at home.

Love – Erm, make that healthy love with a male straight guy and also mutual and no psychopaths and also mutual admiration and also doesn’t resent my job and maybe he also likes me not just is tolerating me or putting up with my quirks because o’ love and also maybe some flowers from time to time and also has a job and a car and doesn’t stick me with the drinks bill and is funny and attractive to me and passion is good and also SINGLE which spelled out means no wife OR baby mamma at home and ALSO doesn’t have sex with strippers or compare me to his mother…

Maybe we should come back to love it is taking some work….

 


 

Adventure

ADVENTURE!

Adventure – Erm, maybe nothing involving risk to life or limb or life threatening events like explosions or riots or firearms.

Adventure – Erm, maybe nothing involving risk to life or limb or life threatening events like explosions or riots or firearms. Also no earthquakes or tornadoes or hurricanes or nuclear events or tidal waves.

Adventure – Erm, maybe nothing involving risk to life or limb or life threatening events like explosions or riots or firearms. Also no earthquakes or tornadoes or hurricanes or nuclear events or tidal waves. Also rip tides are bad also sinking boats are bad. Also floods are bad. Also no more kidnappers or serial killers. Also, altercations with bad police officers are bad (thought I forgot you didn’t you “officer” Sanders?, not so much). Also, no pepper spray or sound cannons? Also no unexpected visits to ER rooms. Also no BEARS or attack friendly wildlife – okay could we just skip adventures they are not normally very fun.
 



 
SHUT UP! NEW YEAR’S WISH LISTS ARE HARD!

 

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