happy groundhog day

February 2, 2016

 

 

 

Max Adams, Teen Model, Ahhh!

 

I just got a “don’t be so hard on yourself” comment on Facebook —

It was in response to the Duck Girl post. Which is supposed to be funny and IS tagged #humor btw. Jeez.

 


 

It’s a weird and totally aberrant response to a humorous post about a photo.

It’s been my job to objectively evaluate images of myself since I was a model in my teens. That hasn’t changed during acting, writing, or being in some odd way minimally a public figure.

 


 

[Yes that image above is me in my teens doing the modeling thing. Check out the goth hair. Yay!]

 


 

I don’t remember a photographer or agent ever, when we were evaluating shots and I said, “The lighting is amazing,” or, “It’s a terrible angle,” saying, “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Who would say that, evaluating a photo? We weren’t talking about me. We were talking about photos.

 


 

Two kinds of people say “Don’t be so hard on yourself” when you’re talking about a photo.

Female “friends” who for some reason feel compelled to take horrible ugly photos of you and post them online. And if you object, say, “Oh don’t be so hard on yourself.”

[I wasn’t being on hard on myself, I was telling you that photo sucks don’t put it online.]

And men who think you could be an easy female mark and a little reverse bolstering might get them in.

[You’re not in, you’re weird and predatory and transparent and scary go away.]

 


 

Being hard on myself is me saying to myself, “Look at those marbled thighs for the love of Christ, Go to yoga!”

Saying, “The lighting and angles in that photo suck”?

That has nothing to do with me. That’s about a photo.

 

 



 

PS: I can kick bullshit “something is wrong with you” reverse psychology sash to the curb. I know I am beautiful on film — there’s a portfolio in a closet to prove it. I worry about the girls that don’t have that portfolio in the closet though. So know this:

Photographs are the way someone wants or chooses to see you. Not you. And —

Don’t spend time with people who take ugly photos of you and post them online and when you object? Say, “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

 

photo tests & duck girl

January 10, 2016

 

max_duck_girl

 *On the up side, though Duck Girl Max looks like she’s ready for a session with the What Not to Wear folks, she looks smarter than better lighting slightly fuzzy iPhone Max. So maybe it works out.
 


*Okay, it is not entirely the computer camera’s fault. I take the iPhone test photos before the first computer take. Ten takes later, I have stepped outside into Texas weather at least ten times for smokes, been distracted by stray dishes, decided one eyebrow is off, taken vitamins I forgot to take this morning, realized I forgot to pick up mail today, taken out the trash, decided I have to change shirts the collar is so wrong, erm, five or more times — there are reasons by the tenth take hair and lipstick are a little frazzled. But still!
 

 

making a clip - the max progression

 

scuba certified!

January 6, 2016

I cannot believe I could not find this Person of Interest clip on Youtube without foreign subtitles. What is wrong with Americans? This is the BEST DOG SCENE EVER!

 

 

 

 

afw_4CoursesJan

Every time I create a new class and have blocked it all out, I think I’m incredibly smart planning it out and writing and titling lectures and thinking up assignments and putting together study material and clips. By the time I have the class and lectures and materials outlined and put together I think I’m the cat’s meow, all that figured out and done and done!

But that never works. Not right up front.

It’s just like a script.

 


 

I figure it out. I lay it out. I plot it out. I think, THIS TIME, it’s all figured out, THERE WILL BE NO REWRITES!

And then.

After it’s all put together the way I thought it would work, I see ways to make it better. And start tearing things out and switching things out and rewriting and reorganizing…

 


 

All of which means I just spent the entire weekend rearranging, rewriting, and reorganizing the new January class The First 30 Pages.

What the Hell, Max?

 


 

What’s really annoying is it is better.

Dammit! That is not incentive to not do this again!

 


 

I wonder if this happens to architects.

It’s easy — okay it is a royal pain but still easier — for me to rip about changing the order of information and words than it is for someone who has just had a cement mixer pour a foundation.

It’s got to be trickier when someone has poured concrete.

 


 

Dear God:

Thank you for making me a writer and not an architect.

Those jackhammers and chisels would be the end of me.

 

Love and Kisses,

Your Favorite No Concrete Adams Girl

 

 

iq!

January 4, 2016

 

Puppy IQ!
 
I have been doing IQ posts a long time and people even really close friends [who you would think would have been there from the beginning but no, thank you demon from hell Facebook algorithms] keep asking me what “IQ!” by cute animal photos means so, for everyone who missed it, the “IQ!” story:

Studies [scientific studies including big research by the Japanese and the Japanese do not dick around with productivity studies] indicate looking at cute cat and dog and animal photos increases work productivity and attention spans AND IQ. So  —

You have total IQ every time you visit or view or like a cute animal photo. You get more productive and smarter. Yay! Also possibly more Japanese but the Japanese have better hair and fashion across the board than anyone in the US anyway so that is not a con.

Expect more cute animal photos soon.

That is my contribution to society and science dammit!
 

 

 

how to enjoy coleslaw

November 26, 2015

 

coleslawHow to enjoy coleslaw:

1. Throw coleslaw in trash.
2. Order fries.
3. Eat fries.

 

the owls are back

November 11, 2015

 

night owlThe owls are back.

The owls spend time on this enormous tower by my apartment building.

That tower is over four stories tall.

I do not know what the purpose of that tower is. Sometimes mysterious workmen come out to work on things in electric panels at the tower’s base at night. That is always odd to me. Workmen at night. Like real night. 2 AM and 3 AM real night.

 


 

I think that tower is the owls’ winter vacation residence. The owls were here when I moved in last year right at the end of November and were still here through December. Then the owls went away.

 


 

It is November again and the owls are back.

History suggests “winter home.”

I wonder where their summer home is?

 


 

Before tonight I had never seen one of the owls. I would hear them. They call out their “who” calls late at night after the sun is long gone and their call echoes for miles – or at least sounds like miles to me on my balcony hearing their calls echo out.

 


 

Tonight I saw one of the owls. The owl was in silhouette, just a dark bird with a real long wing span coasting away against the night’s darkness.

That is one seriously big owl. I spent some formative years in the country. I know a long wing span when I see one. This owl has a wing span bigger than any hawk – and I have seen some pretty big hawks – I have ever seen. Bigger than a falcon and I have seen some pretty big falcons too.

That owl has vulture wingspan. Like the big vultures, the huge ones, that are bigger than eagles and when they spread their wings, their wing span is wider than I am tall.

 


 

I have never seen an owl that big before. But there he is. With his partner. Wintering atop the four story mystery tower next to my building.

He could so beat me arm wrestling.

Maybe I better put on a little weight.

 

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