February 14, 2017
I totally got my ass handed to me at pool, btw. No worries. It was a fun and wonderful night. Also the guy with many tattoos and too much facial hair was nice enough to grab a non-selfie shot of Kate and I on the birthday night. Yay!
January 10, 2016
*On the up side, though Duck Girl Max looks like she’s ready for a session with the What Not to Wear folks, she looks smarter than better lighting slightly fuzzy iPhone Max. So maybe it works out.
*Okay, it is not entirely the computer camera’s fault. I take the iPhone test photos before the first computer take. Ten takes later, I have stepped outside into Texas weather at least ten times for smokes, been distracted by stray dishes, decided one eyebrow is off, taken vitamins I forgot to take this morning, realized I forgot to pick up mail today, taken out the trash, decided I have to change shirts the collar is so wrong, erm, five or more times — there are reasons by the tenth take hair and lipstick are a little frazzled. But still!
December 15, 2015
Since I know you guys get bored if I do not upload a photo from time to time, voila!
November 9, 2015
July 20, 2015
Office art is up! Yay! Yay! Yay!
[Yeah yeah yeah, you’re saying, Hey Max! Why so late and where is the piece of furniture that goes under the office art? Quit it. Head injury after move in. I’m all proud I can hang art on a straight line. The furniture comes later ya bastards. And look, ohh, ahh, pretty! Yay!]
February 12, 2015
Wednesday I went to the Texas DMV.
[Actually in Texas it is called “Public Safety.” Interesting.]
I think the woman at the Texas DMV was a little worried about me.
She explained what buttons to push on the machine I could not outsmart.
She pointed out the forms I needed, which were directly behind me that I had walked past, lost, three times.
She came and corralled me out of the autistic area [I did not know DMV’s had autistic areas] even though by that point she probably thought I totally belonged there.
AND got me a clipboard since it hadn’t occurred to me I’d need one what with the autistic area having nice little tables and all.
[It was a Men In Black moment! Quit it!]
Thank you, Nice Texas DMV Lady. You are the only reason I am a licensed Texas driver today.
[Texans may not thank you for this later.]
November 4, 2014
I went back to the town —
I went to high school in.
Okay not really the town I went to high school in. A town on a long highway lined by small towns where I lived and one of those towns, I went to high school in. And another, I lived in. Actually, many of them I lived in.
It was a long road. Highway 101. And the towns were very small. Lining Highway 101. Far north.
It had been years since I was there.
I was appalled the library had moved off the main street to some back street. It wasn’t even in a real building. It was in a trailer. Surrounded by gravel. Like, real gravel. Small town gravel. This is what they do for parking lots in small towns when they don’t pave them. And if you don’t know what that means, well, that means you don’t know small towns.
I thought, Well this is where I am from, the library should at least have my book. So I went in and donated some copies of my book.
The librarian asked me to sign the books. I wasn’t sure how to sign books to a library. I am used to signing books to people.
I think I put something funny down like, To my friends and fans at the library, Love Max. Then I went on about my business trying to take care of things family while I was there. Very few of which worked out.
Later I was living on a mountain. There’s not much to do on a mountain besides chop wood, feed the fire, and make sure the water lines are still open. Or catch poison oak crawling through underbrush to fix water lines. Or — well this is not about mountain living.
This is a library story.
I hit the library for books.
At the library, they told me, You have to have a street address or something to prove an address. A utility bill or something. And I said, Well I got nothing, I’m on a mountain, no street address, no utilities, all mail is going to general delivery, I guess I am toes up here at the library.
Then the librarian who was there when I brought in books to donate came out and said, Wait, aren’t you the author who donated books?
And I said, Yes.
And she said, She’s okay. Give her a library card. And books.
I read about 500 books out of that library for the three months I was on that mountain. And was really glad I had donated those books.