Screen shot 2015-09-15 at 2.47.03 PM


BTW, you whacky movers and shakers, if you are entertained by me talking about attending a product party, just think how entertained you might be when I talk about Hollywood. Never thought about that, did you, sports fans?

Maybe you should get the book. Or not. How long is your attention span?


the book battle

September 8, 2015


Calvin & Hobbes

I’m in this huge battle to give up books. This became really clear in the Seattle move when the movers told me I was moving 5 thousand pounds and 2 thousand of them were books.


I’ve been trying to give up books ever since.


In varying degrees, I am winning. I’m down like 1,500 pounds of books since then, and with every new move, it goes down a little more. And I move a LOT. Now it’s down to at least 500 pounds or less.


I worry about my priorities. I’ll be sorting through a stack of books and hit Calvin & Hobbes and say, Oh fuck you absolutely not, those stay. Or Captain Underpants. He stays, God Dammit!


I suspect this doesn’t much say I am an adult.


tnnsg does christmas

December 4, 2014

TNSSG 2 for 1 Deal

CHRISTMAS 2 for 1 SALE! Order your copy of The New Screenwriter’s Survival Guide now through January 1st and it will arrive WITH AN EXTRA BOOK FOR A FRIEND.



a library story

November 4, 2014






I went back to the town —





I went to high school in.

Okay not really the town I went to high school in. A town on a long highway lined by small towns where I lived and one of those towns, I went to high school in. And another, I lived in.  Actually, many of them I lived in.

It was a long road.  Highway 101. And the towns were very small. Lining Highway 101.  Far north.

It had been years since I was there.

I was appalled the library had moved off the main street to some back street. It wasn’t even in a real building. It was in a trailer. Surrounded by gravel. Like, real gravel. Small town gravel. This is what they do for parking lots in small towns when they don’t pave them. And if you don’t know what that means, well, that means you don’t know small towns.

I thought, Well this is where I am from, the library should at least have my book. So I went in and donated some copies of my book.



The librarian asked me to sign the books. I wasn’t sure how to sign books to a library. I am used to signing books to people.

I think I put something funny down like, To my friends and fans at the library, Love Max. Then I went on about my business trying to take care of things family while I was there. Very few of which worked out.

Later I was living on a mountain. There’s not much to do on a mountain besides chop wood, feed the fire, and make sure the water lines are still open. Or catch poison oak crawling through underbrush to fix water lines. Or — well this is not about mountain living.

This is a library story.

I hit the library for books.

At the library, they told me, You have to have a street address or something to prove an address. A utility bill or something. And I said, Well I got nothing, I’m on a mountain, no street address, no utilities, all mail is going to general delivery, I guess I am toes up here at the library.

Then the librarian who was there when I brought in books to donate came out and said, Wait, aren’t you the author who donated books?

And I said, Yes.

And she said, She’s okay. Give her a library card. And books.

I read about 500 books out of that library for the three months I was on that mountain. And was really glad I had donated those books.



Yes, it is all site madness all the time —

So the book site got overhauled too. Yay!


The New Screenwriter's Survival Guide


Pretty, ain’t it?

While we’re on the subject of the book, a pop quiz:

Have you read the book?

[ ] Yes. Yay! You are my favorite!
[ ] No. Boo! Get off my blog!

If you have read the book, have you posted an Amazon review?

[ ] Yes. Yay! You are my favorite!
[ ] No. Boo! Get off my blog!


In the off chance you failed that pop quiz, you can buy AND review THE BOOK ON AMAZON.

Go on now, what do you want to do, fail the next pop quiz?

:::GO NOW:::



Patricia Burroughs, This Crumbling Pageant

This is a guest post from the fabulous Patricia Burroughs, who has somehow run below the radar to talk about exactly what I told her not to talk about on my blog.


Of [Redacted] and Aubergine

Max wouldn’t let me write about [redacted]. I had to do that on Magical Words where I wrote about [redacted] and how Max mentored/bullied me into writing about them even though I Did. Not. Want. To).

Yes, there is Irony there.

So instead, I am writing about fashion.

Max is the Goddess Max in my pantheon for many reasons, one of which is her fabulous sense of design and All Things Fashion, including the Screenwriter’s Uniform in The Screenwriter’s Survival Guide.

And so when she nixed any mention of [redacted] on her blog, even though she made me write about them in my script, I decided I would write about fashion instead.

The problem is, I didn’t spend a lot of time writing about fashion in my dark epic fantasy, This Crumbling Pageant. And when I did write about fashion, I am not at all sure I wrote in such a way that Max, the Goddess of All Things Fashion, would approve.

I wrote about aubergine.

Aubergine is the French word for eggplant, that dark, dark purple that is almost black. In England in 1811, including the Magical version of England I write about, it is only worn by elderly dowagers.

Certainly not by young girls being presented to the Queen and to Society.

Persephone Fury’s sister [a beautiful duchess and a goddess of fashion in her own right] chose a lovely pale blue for her to wear.

But Persephone’s older brother interferes:


“Good gods,” Cosmo drawled. “So this is what they did to you?”

She blinked up at him, not believing her ears.

“I told them at all costs to avoid yellow, but I never dreamed they’d stick you in infant shades.”

She swallowed thickly. She looked nice; she knew she did.

“You’re fortunate to have me as your brother, poppet.” He sauntered into the room, waving the door shut behind him, locking it with a flex of his fist. “I thought they’d never leave.”

“What are you doing?” she demanded, fighting tears, all warm feelings gone in a flash. She curled her fingertips into her palms in an effort to calm herself. “You’re a wretch, Cosmo Fury, a wretch!”

He winced. “Oh good gods, and they even put a padded corset on you?”

She crossed her arms across her small breasts, her humiliation complete. She wouldn’t go downstairs, would never go downstairs, would leave London and never return.

“My sweet poppet, you’ll thank me.”


Should a seventeen-year-old girl ever have her older brother interfere and snatch away the dress the women in her family chose for her and replace it with one that doesn’t suit current fashion and worse, is an old woman color?

I guess it’s kind of obvious to say, read the book and find out. [Hey, that’s what blog tours are about, saying, read my book!]

This Crumbling Pageant is a book about magic and evil, about action and violence, about dark things and Dark things, about secrets and lies, and even in a scene or two, about [redacted].

But, it also has its moments of fashion, because this hero’s journey is happening to a girl.

And if that includes girly things like her menarche, her crush on the first man she meets, and her desire to be pretty for him?

Even better.

As for being trotted before Society to find a husband to further her family’s political ambitions…

Well, they can try.

And as for Max, and her opinions on the fashion choices in the book? Well, Max is always right. That’s a given.

But my characters? Will Persephone in aubergine be considered an Original or an Oddity?

The jury’s still out on that one. You’ll just have to read it to find out!

This Crumbling Pageant is available in print and digital at Amazon, BN and Kobo.


Patricia BurroughsNicholl Award-winning screenwriter and bestselling novelist Patricia Burroughs loves dogs, books, movies, and football. A lifelong Anglophile, she treasures her frequent travels in the British Isles researching The Fury Triad, the epic fantasy that has taken over her life and heart. She and her high school sweetheart husband are living happily ever after in their hometown of Dallas, Texas.



Screen shot 2014-04-19 at 8.03.30 AM


We did the BOOK MEME. That was awesome.

We did GOING BANKSY. That was awesome.

We did TNSSG T-SHIRT PHOTOS. That was awesome.

We need to do something new and fun for the book.


One of the coolest things people used to do when the first book was out was send in photos of themselves with the book.

Here is David’s Baby Luke with the original book. Yay!

Luke The Smartest Baby In The World

Here is Ben with the original book. Yay!

Benjamin Green With The Screewriter's Survival Guide



















Post a photo of you with The New Screenwriter’s Survival Guide to the book’s Facebook Page.


Sure sure sure, “Why Facebook” you ask. Isn’t Facebook a device of the devil?

Yes, yes it is, but less a device of the devil than me trying to single handedly play catcher in the photos in email game.

Post it to the TNSSG Facebook Page. It will be great.


The Rules: We are not big on rules around here, but let’s go with no blatant nudity.

The Prizes: There will totally be prizes for cool photos but we haven’t decided what they are, you already have the book, but we have other swag and prizes so photo up, sports fans, and let’s find out what you win yay!

The Photos: Your photo does not have to be with the paperback, take a photo with you and the book on the Kindle or iPad and that flies with us.


the drama book shop yay!

February 1, 2014

Screen shot 2014-02-01 at 12.35.52 PM

In the cool news department, the book is shipping out to The Drama Book Shop in New York and will be on shelves this month.  Yay!


:::visit the book page:::



I’m speaking online tonight in USA #Scriptchat on the do’s and dont’s to get your screenplay read, sold, and produced. Stop by and say hi.

Screen shot 2013-12-24 at 6.18.50 AM


*Congratulations to @Alexander_A_J who was the #Scriptchat winner of the random drawing for a free copy of The New Screenwriter’s Survival Guide yay! #tnssg



christmas miracles

December 26, 2013


Know what that is? Ohyez, that is Minot North Dakota going Banksy.

I did not think we were going to get North Dakota but that baby came in at the last minute, just was we were wrapping up the Stripes count for Christmas. And you know what that means, right?

[No? You so need to get out more.*]

We got every state by Christmas. Yay yay yay!

Screen shot 2013-12-26 at 2.54.59 AM

*Don’t know what Going Banksy is? Wow where have you been hiding?

:::GO SEE:::



%d bloggers like this: