the first day of spring

March 21, 2015


first day of spring

The First Day of Spring. Left, New York [photo by Nancy Bilyeau] || Right, Austin [photo by Max Adams]



Spring, 2015, Bostom

Whoah! Joe Reiter just posted Boston. Holy crap, Boston is about to be attacked by White Walkers.


dmv frenzy!

February 12, 2015


Wednesday I went to the Texas DMV.

[Actually in Texas it is called “Public Safety.” Interesting.]

I think the woman at the Texas DMV was a little worried about me.

She explained what buttons to push on the machine I could not outsmart.

She pointed out the forms I needed, which were directly behind me that I had walked past, lost, three times.

She came and corralled me out of the autistic area [I did not know DMV’s had autistic areas] even though by that point she probably thought I totally belonged there.

AND got me a clipboard since it hadn’t occurred to me I’d need one what with the autistic area having nice little tables and all.

[It was a Men In Black moment! Quit it!]

Thank you, Nice Texas DMV Lady. You are the only reason I am a licensed Texas driver today.

[Texans may not thank you for this later.]

couch potato austin

January 25, 2015


Screen shot 2015-01-25 at 10.23.05 PM

This is totally overdue, Couch Potato Austin has kept me up and running and alive while I was recovering from an injury and Couch Potato Austin rocks so I should give them a shout out.

Here it is. Shout Out! Couch Potato Austin! Yay!

Part of me is hesitant to do that because, you know, if you unwashed masses start using MY awesome delivery service, you might overwhelm Couch Potato Austin and then Couch Potato could not deliver to me. Also, you might go all crazy and start ordering my cigarettes so then when I order they are out and no cigarettes for me! Ahhh!

[Not really, I figure most of you are too cheap to order my cigarettes.]

But, I adhere to the philosophy the universe is big and full of so much goodness there just is enough for everybody and I don’t have to hog Couch Potato Austin for it to keep being awesome.

[Whew! Lucky for you that is my philosophy or I would totally not be sharing Couch Potato Austin with you.]


*Okay, “alive” might be an overstatement, I probably would have lived AND recovered without cigs and ice cream — or not, it really wouldn’t have been smart to walk far and I definitely wasn’t driving and I was out of cigs hmmm — but happy. Definitely happy. And to me, happy counts. Yay!

*Other people who get a shout out for getting me through the housebound Christmas injury too: Sparkle Hayter sent me Christmas cookies, yay! Jared Thomas sent Christmas chocolate, yay! Kym Kemp sent the coolest Christmas shirt in the verse. Yay!

extraneous stuff ahhh!

December 17, 2014



One reason I have too much stuff is, I move. A LOT. We’re talking lost track around interstate move number 10 here.

Each new place has things from the last place that work. But also, things that do not.

And —

Each new place has… new needs.

This is how I find myself sitting here just having purchased a new piece of furniture AND a new rug while at the same time crying into my Cheerios wondering how I am going to get rid of —

Oh Jesus wept!

More extraneous stuff! Ahhh!


Yez, the irony of the statement “serenity” “battles” is not lost on me. Work with me here….

We have living room and we have kitchen, yay!


Also, a Christmas tree, yay!


There was bathroom — okay the bathroom was the first clear room in the place — but the great closet rail collapse of 2014 took that out because for the moment… all the shoes are living in the bathroom. Oops.

The office is still in pretty exciting disarray.  That is not going to be fixable till nice men bring the new desk legs.  [Um, yez, I said new desk legs.]

The bedroom is almost all put together except for a missing piece of furniture currently living in the office till, um, new desk legs.  Also, quite a few clothes are hiding out in the bedroom right now.  [Closet rail catastrophe refugees.]

But so far, so good.  Kitchen!  Living Room!  Christmas Tree!  Yay!

When I get places put together people look at them and say, Max, that looks very simple I do not know what you have been carrying on about that looks easy.


Let me remind you, sports fans, how this started out:


Doesn’t look so easy now, does it?

Come on closet rail and desk legs!  Yay!




from the file "moving convo's with friends

it is probably just me

November 19, 2014


moving boxes

It’s probably just me. But I keep staring at this package of packing materials that showed today.

And thinking —

Shouldn’t a company that sells packing and shipping materials be better at packing and shipping materials?

I’m totally afraid of it.



November 18, 2014



Movers are booked. Copious packing supplies have arrived. Paperwork is in works. This is about the time to totally stress out about the move but to my chagrin I discover the cigarette and alcohol stockpiles are way too low for a proper stress out.

This must be corrected immediately.


PS: I told you the blog was shut down for the move right? I totally lied. I am way too stressed to not blog.


just say no to faux wood

November 10, 2014


Screen shot 2014-11-10 at 11.58.53 PM


Apparently this is a thing in Austin.

Plastic fake wood flooring.

[It is really gross.]



Flash Back: My ex and I are looking for a microwave.

He keeps saying, What about this one?

[He’s a guy, he’s looking for bells and whistles.]

I keep saying, No! Faux Wood! No No No Ahhh!

[A lot of microwave manufacturers at the time thought it was cool to paint metal microwaves with some sort of freakish fake wood grain.]

[It was so gross.]



After the microwave gauntlet, I overheard my ex one time talking to a salesman and I sort of fell in love with him all over again when he said, “No, it is faux wood.”

[There are some rough things I can say sometimes about my ex but that “faux wood” thing? He did not care a bit about faux wood but he knew I did so faux wood was out and he did not even know I was listening. That is a moment I will always love him for.]



I totally love my broker too because after our faux wood conversation she started getting on the phone to people saying, fiercly, “Faux wood?”

I could kind of hear the pause and “Huh?” on the other side of the line.

She’d snap, “Wood laminate.”

Then I’d kind of hear the “Oh” on the other side of the line.

We haven’t been to a place with faux wood since.




Really hating faux wood knocks 90% of the buildings we might have looked at out of the running.

That is okay with me. Hello! Streamlined house hunt. Yay!

Also panic mode has subsided some we have seen a couple places I actually think I could live in now.

Cross fingers. Light candles.


PS: I’m totally telling you my broker’s name and contact info after I sign a new lease. Before that not so much… you’d totally steal my hot new apartment leads, right? Yeah, I thought so. Skeevy dogs.




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