“don’t be so hard on yourself” my ass

January 10, 2016

 

Max Adams, Teen Model, Ahhh!

 

I just got a “don’t be so hard on yourself” comment on Facebook —

It was in response to the Duck Girl post. Which is supposed to be funny and IS tagged #humor btw. Jeez.

 


 

It’s a weird and totally aberrant response to a humorous post about a photo.

It’s been my job to objectively evaluate images of myself since I was a model in my teens. That hasn’t changed during acting, writing, or being in some odd way minimally a public figure.

 


 

[Yes that image above is me in my teens doing the modeling thing. Check out the goth hair. Yay!]

 


 

I don’t remember a photographer or agent ever, when we were evaluating shots and I said, “The lighting is amazing,” or, “It’s a terrible angle,” saying, “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Who would say that, evaluating a photo? We weren’t talking about me. We were talking about photos.

 


 

Two kinds of people say “Don’t be so hard on yourself” when you’re talking about a photo.

Female “friends” who for some reason feel compelled to take horrible ugly photos of you and post them online. And if you object, say, “Oh don’t be so hard on yourself.”

[I wasn’t being on hard on myself, I was telling you that photo sucks don’t put it online.]

And men who think you could be an easy female mark and a little reverse bolstering might get them in.

[You’re not in, you’re weird and predatory and transparent and scary go away.]

 


 

Being hard on myself is me saying to myself, “Look at those marbled thighs for the love of Christ, Go to yoga!”

Saying, “The lighting and angles in that photo suck”?

That has nothing to do with me. That’s about a photo.

 

 



 

PS: I can kick bullshit “something is wrong with you” reverse psychology sash to the curb. I know I am beautiful on film — there’s a portfolio in a closet to prove it. I worry about the girls that don’t have that portfolio in the closet though. So know this:

Photographs are the way someone wants or chooses to see you. Not you. And —

Don’t spend time with people who take ugly photos of you and post them online and when you object? Say, “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

 

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