October 12, 2013
Have split a bottle of wine.
The spagghet sauce says I totally got more than half that bottle and wants me to open another bottle just to even out the score.
The spaghett sauce is a total liar jeez wine hog!
ON THE CORRECT SPELLING OF SPAGHETT:
If you do not know what spagghet means, you are clearly the victim of alien space rays that have altered your mind in tragic and ungood ways.
Also you probably still think “Koala” is a correct spelling.
It is “Kowala.”
ON MORE WINE:
I have opened another bottle of wine and then corked it and am just sort of waving it at the spaghett sauce, taunting it.
ON HOW THESE THINGS PLAY OUT:
Here is how the above will be interpreted by other people:
People Who Don’t Know Me: Holy crap the spaghett sauce is right, she totally got more than half that bottle!
People Who Do Know Me: Shit, the spaghett sauce totally hogged all the wine, that is such subtle Max taunting action does she have a fever?, is she weak from hunger?, should we call 911?
People Who Have Read the Book: Oh this is for sure going to be some fun chapter headers next time.
People Who Have Been Married to Me: Thank God this can be contained, NO MORE TANGOS WITH ANIMATRONIC TYRANOSAURES* REXES IN LOS ANGELES MUSEUMS OF HISTORY THAT CAN SHOW UP IN THE NEWS!
Spagghet Sauce: Bitch! Hand over the wine!
[*Note: You are trying to peg me with aberrant Tyrannosaurus spelling there right? Nopers, that’s not my spelling, I’m quoting.]