what i learned in new york

December 22, 2009

 

Back —

From New York. It was sort of an impromptu trip and I was moving heaven and earth to get things done so I could leave for a week so did not get much sleep before I left and definitely did not get much sleep after I got there. Got back last night, got into bed and slept! Tired! I do not remember the last time I slept that hard. Or was that tired. Then I had adjusted my clock wrong and oops thought I got up at 8 PM [that is what the computer clock said it was] but no it was 8 AM I just screwed up the clock. Oops again. The cool thing about hard sleep is, after that kind of sleep, my face is starting to look like my face again instead of like some apple head fair exhibit. Yay! But I screwed up appointments big time because of that clock maladjustment. Irrefutable proof clocks can be maladjusted.

In keeping with the rule where Max goes big things follow a huge blizzard hit New York while I was there. It was questionable whether I would even have a plane to get onto to come home lots of flight frenzy but the storm cleared up enough to get snow off [one yegads] runway and for me to get out only an hour and a half behind schedule. And here are —

 

Things I Learned On The Trip To New York :

•Red lights are just suggestions, nobody really stops walking because of some silly light.

•Cab drivers are not at your disposal, you are at theirs.

•Some cab drivers, if you look confused and worried enough over whether you are at the right address on that dark little street, will wait to make sure you get into the building. [nice man]

•Buildings in New York all have formal names. Seriously, forget street addresses, formal names. And New Yorkers all know the buildings by name.

•It is impossible to actually have any idea of where you are unless you climb onto a roof, then you know why buildings all have formal names, they are landmarks and how people in New York orient themselves to get from place to place. [Do not ask me how New Yorkers do that traveling underground though, I think they have special sensors in their noses like sharks or something and me, I had to climb onto a roof to figure it out.]

•People from New York do not know all people in the U.S. do not own metro passes or even necessarily know what they are.

•El train in New York does not mean elevated train it means “L” train and is underground not up in the air where you are looking for it but if you spin in circles on the corner cursing looking up into the air for a while people do give you more elbow room.

•Smoking outside in 17 degree weather leaves interesting cold burn marks on your hand.

•Uggs stand up surprisingly well wading through three foot snow drifts. Seriously, almost as well as Sorels though I would not push that in the Alps.

Warm coat in California does not equal warm coat in New York.

•Metal hair combs set off airport metal detectors and will send you to the back of the line — with really interesting hair.

•Always wear a T-Shirt under that big bulky sweater to the airport unless you want to become way more intimate with airport security guards than you intended.

•48 hours without sleep will erase any indication you have ever heard rumors of anti-oxidents let alone taken any in your life.

•Never lose track of your phone charger on a cross continent adventure.

•Love and alcohol do not mix.

 

where the art work comes from :
the owner of that photo wishes to remain anonymous

13 Responses to “what i learned in new york”

  1. Kitty said

    Welcome home, Max.

    That warm coat here but not there thing has caught me several times. Actually, it gets me every time.

  2. max said

    Thanks Miss. On the bright side I had the boots my feet stayed warm. I am so loving the boots right now.

  3. forkboy1965 said

    Glad you survived and that you had at least one nice cabbie.

  4. My oldest stepson lives in New York.
    He’s the one that shot the video of guys dancing on the hood of my truck.
    Glad to hear the weather is brutal there, he deserves it.
    You do not.
    Get warm and welcome back to the West Side

  5. max said

    But but but…

    That was a good video.

    [Now I will curl up by the fire and stay warm yay!]

  6. Kitty said

    Sixty eight degrees here yesterday Max. Come to Texas next time. I’ll find you a cowboy.

  7. max said

    Thanks Michele. Smooch!

  8. max said

    [Kitty Texas and I have history I try to stay out of Texas.]

  9. Martin said

    Red lights as suggestions are even more ridiculous south of the border. For sure in Buenos Aires. On the bright side, if my memory serves well, it only gets L.A. cold down there. And surprising for the seat of a multi-national body, people in NY don’t know dick about people in the U.S. or anywhere else- unless there is a representative restaurant in the city, then they know some of the food (though arguable as well; case in point, China and Chinese food).

  10. max said

    Oh well red lights are festive so there is that going for them.

  11. Blondetwit said

    Welcome back, and thanks for trading places with my stepson…we are leaving to take him to the airport in just a little bit…
    =^..^=~~ Look forward to seeing you around!

  12. max said

    Blonde yay! I have missed you.

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