taking on susan

Drunken blogging night was a total success and now it is 2007 and my poor students are all going to get hangover reviews. [Oops. Sorry about that Students.] That is okay though, even hungover, my reviews are pretty solid, they will not get too robbed. [Alex, if you are reading, I am not really hungover I am just being entertaining here. Say, I did not sign a morality clause or anything like that did I? Just checking….]

Those will have to be done sometime today and I am gathering strength but meanwhile, the big thing on the table today is, who is going to cave first and go see the Susan horoscopes?

[You know Susan. She is that link down there under “People Who Suck.”]

Every month I am lured against my will to go read my Susan horoscope. Every month, Susan mocks me. Lately she has been mocking Leos worse though. This is funny to me, mainly because I am not a Leo [AJ is] and also because in 2000 when I was being mocked by Susan [hello, the Susan wars have been going on a long time] I suggested she go pick on the Leos for a while and wow did she. [And she hasn’t stopped.] In December she told AJ if AJ even thought about sex AJ would fall preggers so AJ had to duct tape her ankles together for the whole month.

Wow. Sucks to be you, AJ.

January is a whole new month though and maybe the duct tape can come off. Unless —

One of us caves and goes and reads the Susan horoscopes. Then the month will dive and we will be shivering in our boots — again — because Susan mocked and terrorized us — again.

AJ and I both know sooner or later one of us will cave and will go hit the Susan pages, so AJ and I go together. [How can this be? AJ is in Australia and I am in the Stripes. Um. Doy. ICQ.] This way we have back up and can face the horror with a friend. We haven’t gone today — yet. We haven’t picked a time — yet. But, some time today, we will go. The power of Susan is too strong. It will lure us and we will go. We cannot resist.

Love and Kisses,

Your It Is Only A Matter Of Time Adams Girl

PS: Oh in case anyone is wondering [you were wondering right Trench?] I am an Aquarius with a Capricorn moon and rising. This means I have a multiple personality horoscope because Aquarius and Cap are very different and I have to read TWO SUSAN HOROSCOPES [oh the humanity] and that gets me in all kinds of trouble because Aquarius’s horoscope will say, “Watch those purse strings, Aquarius, you are going to bleed money this month.” But Cap’s will say, “Go crazy Cap, there is cash on the horizon, run don’t walk to the nearest mall.” Natch, Cap’s forecast is more fun so I run [don’t walk] to the nearest mall and then whammo the Aquarius bleed money event kicks in. Oops.