January 2, 2014
To 10 Self Centered Bizarre Things People Ask For
[And Why That Ain't Gonna Happen]
Let’s preface this with a recent Twitter exchange:
@jeannevb: Wow. Some people really are self-absorbed idiots. Warning: Karma WILL get you. #speechless
@CelluloidBlonde: RT @jeannevb: Wow. Some people really are self-absorbed idiots. || Dammit I said I was sorry, Jeanne! :::scamper:::
@jeannevb: @CelluloidBlonde haha I was talking about my email inbox. #Holyfuckola you should see the things ppl ask of me *headdesk*
@CelluloidBlonde: @jeannevb That’s a blog post: Top ten self centered bizarre things people ask for.
@CelluloidBlonde: @jeannevb [And why that ain't gonna happen]
@jeannevb: @CelluloidBlonde OMG yes!
@romimoondi: I would love to read this, pls & thx “@CelluloidBlonde: @jeannevb That’s a blog post: Top ten self centered bizarre things people ask for.”
Okay… here’s one. The other nine are up to you guys…. See that comments section below? Go. Now. And post.
Now here’s the most recent one I got:
I got email from a woman that opened up with the joys of being a “mommy.” I wasn’t sure why she was writing me about the joys of being a mommy — did she wish to impregnate me? — till she got to the “here’s where Max fits in” part.
I fit into mommy joys because I could build a private writing class for just her and schedule it and my time around her “mommy” schedule.
Great plan, yes?
Okay here is why that is not a great plan and is not going to happen.
1: I can’t afford to build a private class for one individual at a time. Especially not if it includes a “mommy discount.”
2: Childless though I may be, I do have a pretty hefty schedule of my own being a writer, a teacher, and running a business. That workload and schedule does not evaporate when someone drops “mommy” into the conversation.
3: This is a personal foible, but I find it generally annoying when adult women refer to themselves in childlike terms like “mommy” instead of “mother” when speaking to other adults like, um, me.
I explained this was not going to happen. I am pretty sure her take away from the conversation was there is something wrong with me.
Your turn… we need at least nine more here to make me not a liar for the post title. Go!