November 13, 2013
I just realized in a random conversation something I never snapped to before.
Texas is the only state in the U.S. I have returned to, to live in, besides California.
I have lived in a lot of states. I lost count of interstate moves around interstate move number seven — and I keep going home to California. Move out. Move back. Move out. Move back.
The ONLY other state I have ever returned to is Texas.
I should fear Texas like I fear the astrological sign Taurus. Huge life altering events have happened to me in Texas. Not all good.
Texas is a pattern I never saw before.
A blind spot.
I don’t have a lot of blind spots.
When they show up they are usually huge.
===>>>where the artwork comes from:
that is from the texas experiment: ethnography
October 25, 2013
We are having fun. Also I find it crazy fun that people actually come looking for me on the smoking patio behind Driskill Bar. Okay sure that is predictable but also, how cool is that?
Also here are some photos to cheer you up before you go all “don’t smoke” on my ass. Yay!
September 4, 2013
August 27, 2013
So foolishly Saturday night I went dancing in totally inappropriate shoes. [Hey, I did not know I was going dancing, I thought I was going to a comedy club. And I did that too. The dancing was a surprise event that came after.] Then for good measure, I trotted up and down unfriendly stairs in said inappropriate shoes, did two shots of some really suspicious cinnamon flavored brew, and slammed my [bad, okay, they are both bad, but I picked the most bad for this stunt] knee into a hard surface just to bring that baby home.
The knee is not feeling very forgiving. My knees have never been forgiving. In the words of a past ortho doc, “So pretty on the outside, so ugly on the inside.” So I am a little hobbled here, but hey, the knee has not demanded the knee brace yet. Ooh la la, I can still wear shorts and pretty dresses — if I don’t go crazy on the shoes. [Yeah, don't count on that.]
Meanwhile, in other news. If you were planning on that free bumper sticker with swag, you missed out. That ended Sunday. But the swag is still cool, free [bribe!] bumper sticker or not, and there is cool new book news on the horizon.
:::THE BOOK::: is now available at Book People [Austin], Book Soup [West Hollywood], Cinema Books [Seattle], Samuel French [Hollywood], and coming soon to Trident Booksellers and Cafe [Boston]. Yay!
[Check out :::WHERE TO BUY::: for the current list of booksellers.]
Also we’re talking to Book Soup about an author event. That would seriously be yay, though involve [uh ohs] me getting on a plane.
And in other cool ass news, knee willing and the creek don’t rise, I’ll be playing softball in the upcoming Gridiron Heroes Celebrity Softball Tournament September 13-14 in Schertz Texas [that's by San Antonio for the geographically impaired] so if you want to see mind over matter, come out to the Gridiron Heroes event and watch me run on this punk ass knee. Yay!
I promise to wear appropriate foot wear and swing that bat. Also I throw in home via Second and yell “Not the face!” a lot [my short stop days are over shut up] and should be doing a fabulous Kirk Gibson impression from the year The Dodgers brought that baby home. Except I’m shorter and blonder. Bottom line, It should be entertaining as hell, if you like to see small blondes run and curse a lot.
AND. It’s for a :::DAMN GOOD CAUSE:::
See you there.
Your Gridiron Heroes Adams Girl
*BTW, we have done hot crazy Gridiron Hero action here before. Oh yez, last year we did the hot poker tournament and auction. Stop in. We’re not going anywhere.
June 26, 2013
August 27, 2012
Texas reminds me of Malibu. Every time I turn around, something is trying to eat me. Something spider bit me. I am allergic all the time in just my skin and, oh, eyes! — to just the air.
And now. Something ate hell out of my legs.
Fifty bites? I kid not, I lost count after fifty. And here is the thing. After days, the bites were not fading. So I was all WTF? Seriously? Not fading bites? WTF is up with that?
[I get to curse here btw, Stephen Fry says so.]
I went kind of crazy on this.
I bleached every piece of clothing I ever wore a week of pre-bite.
I bleached the wood on the balcony.
I bleached all the bedding.
I bleached the concrete floors.
I probably went overboard and probably I did not even get bit here but how would I know? It feels like I am getting bit by fire ants most of the time it is not like it would stand out. And there are no more bites. But still. The bites do not leave. Ahhh!
A friend told me maybe they are chigger bites and [holy hell!] chigger bites don’t go away, they just keep going. Under the skin. Living God Damn chiggers. WTF?
Under. The. Skin. [Gack, Alien!]
She also said if you coated the bites with nail polish that would kill them.
I spent the other night coating my battle scars with nail polish. And it seems to actually be working.
I didn’t have any clear polish though, so I used this fantastical shade of orange. It is still fantastical too — on fifty plus chigger attacks.
If you see a woman at Whole Foods with a half bottle of bright orange nail polish slathered on her legs do not make fun dammit.
Your Chiggers Are Hell Adams Girl
August 10, 2012
In grammar school. His name was Joey. He wore shit clothes. Horrible cast off clothes. Like corduroy coats. He was a foster kid. He was tiny. Smaller than other boys. He wore bad glasses. Big rimmed glasses that probably came off the cheapest ugliest conveyor line of glasses ever. He was always nice though. Polite. He smiled at me sometimes. The world handed him the ugliest set of circumstances and he was still nice and still had a nice smile and I had no idea how that worked.
And those shit logging town boys used to wait for him. On the playground. On the path. Everywhere on his way home. They’d wait and they’d outrun him and they’d beat him up.
I stopped them once. I don’t know why I was on the same route that day, but I was, and it pissed me off. Seeing them picking on this kid because he wore an ugly corduroy coat and ugly glasses. Ugly shoes too. And he was too little to fight back and there were a bunch of them and only one of him. There was nothing this kid had to wear that didn’t set him up as a target.
There is this thing that happens among kids. This preying on the weak. Joey was weak. And I was angry and I stepped in there and yelled and they let him go.
That didn’t make us friends. He was sort of humiliated a girl saved him and didn’t smile much at me after. Also I have no freaking clue why, when I yelled, people stopped and listened. It’s not like I came from the right side of the tracks either. But when I got mad? People backed off. Even a pack of over hyped we’re-about-to-give-an-ass-whooping logger town boys backed off. And they let him go that day.
They didn’t let him go other days though. I wasn’t there other days. And one day Joey was gone. It didn’t work out at his foster home.
I’m thinking about Joey because of this story my friend Kym posted. About this kid. He got picked up in Northern California. Wanted for stabbing his step father to death. The kid is the step-son in a house with three younger sons who all belong to the dad. He’s little, like Joey. And at the age of twenty, he backed into a kitchen, said don’t come any closer, and when Step Dad did, the kid stabbed him. And the step-dad died. And the kid ran.
And his grandfather is telling him to turn himself in. Really, Grampa? That’s your back up plan?
They just picked Zachary Price up in Northern California and are shipping him back to Texas.
They have the death penalty in Texas.
And now I am thinking about Joey.
June 12, 2012
After exhaustive study, and this is no small thing, being new to Texas and having to bone up on everything as a noob, and knowing full well I am a noob so may be making some glaring errors — point it out please before Tuesday if I am — I have come to conclusions about Republican candidates in upcoming primaries.
It’s important to do this because voting is next Tuesday and I figure it doesn’t do a whole hell of a lot of good to send someone to Washington as president if you don’t also send other people to DC that will back him up. And that means state support too. Because one of the big conflicts between federal and state government is the clash of federal power with state power. Don’t believe me? Look at all those medical marijuana facilities getting raided by the feds. Cancer patients can do medical marijuana in California, according to California state law. But the feds keep breaking down doors anyway. Not to mention since I’m shoving for a return of state power, well, maybe I better get cracking on what’s happening in the state. Sheesh. So many politics. So little time.
THE MAX ADAMS REPUBLICAN TEXAS PRIMARIES CHEAT SHEET
[*hint, do not hit star gifs below like links,
links are blue text here, not gifs.]
President: Ron Paul.
United States Senator: Glenn Addison: Addison’s the one guy staunchly in favor of constitutional rights. Like, not getting beat to shit when you peacefully protest and not getting thrown in jail for the rest of your life without charges or a lawyer or a trial. He’s anti-war. And he’s the one guy vocally supporting Ron Paul.
District 10 Rep: Eddie Traylor. Technically Traylor is not good. But his opposition is Michael McCaul. McCaul=CISPA. Throw that bastard out and vote Traylor.
District 17 Rep: George Hindman. I don’t really like Hindman either, he appears to be pro war. But he’s good on the Constitution and protecting citizen’s rights and his opposition is Bill Flores. Flores supports NDAA. Throw that bastard out and vote Hindman in.
District 25 Rep: Uncommitted. I can’t find anyone with any redeaming qualities running in this one. Several of them are flat out bad, and a couple of them I just can’t find info on online. Sorry District 25. You guys are screwed unless you come up with a write in candidate.
District 35 Rep: Rob Roark. Rob Roark is all good. Yay!
Railroad Commissioner: Becky Berger. Becky Berger has the smartest, most well written explanation and justification for why she should be the Railroad Commissioner. She’s also the best educated and qualified by her background. And she’s not a career politician, a lawyer, or one of Rick Perry’s appointees. [As far as I am concerned, if you are one of Rick Perry's people? That is a black mark.]
Railroad Commissioner Unexpired Term: Barry Smitherton. This is really a default choice because Elizabeth Murray-Kolb appears pro-fracking [wtf!] and the other two guys look bad. So Smitherton is one of those “do the least damage” choices.
Place 2 Justice Supreme Court: Steve Smith. Steve Smith gets a star from me and his opposition Don Willett is a Bush/Perry crony. Vote that bastard out and vote Steve Smith in.
Place 4 Justice Supreme Court: Uncommitted. David Medina is a Perry person. John Devine looks bad. And I can’t find anything about Joe Pool Jr. online to give me much of an idea about him.
Place 6 Justice Supreme Court: Nathan Hecht. He’s running unopposed and looks okay.
Presiding Judge Court of Criminal Appeals: Uncommitted. Sharon Keller is running unopposed. There’s a lot of nasty baggage here, going back to an appeal she refused to look at, saying, “We close at 5.” Granted, the guy being appealed for by his attorneys appears to have been a real monster who had already lost two appeals, but this sort of response is not necessarily what you want sitting on the bench if your loved one, or you, are on death row.
Place 7 Judge Court of Criminal Appeals: Barbara Parker Hervey. Running unopposed. Looks okay.
District 5 Member State Board of Education: Steve Salyer. Steve Salyer gets a star from me.
District 10 Member State Board of Education: Rebecca Osborne. She’s a teacher, she’s very well educated with a PhD, she’s strongly involved and very pro the students. She gets a star from me.
District 14 State Senator: Uncommitted. Guy Fielder is running unopposed and I just can’t find enough information on him online to form an opinion there. Sorry Fielder, might want to work on that internet presence.
District 21 State Senator: Grant Rostig. Grant’s a Ron Paul supporter. Yay!
District 24 State Senator: Uncommitted. Troy Fraser is a natural resources guy and I couldn’t find info much outside of that on the guy.
District 25 State Senator: Anyone but Jeff Wentworth. Seriously. The guy was a spook, a lawyer, and now looks like a careerist politician. That’s not a good combo. His opposition is Donna Campbell, who looked bad, and Elizabeth Ames Jones who pretty much wins by default not because she’s good, she isn’t, but because she’s the least bad. But looks pretty establishment generic which is, well, bad. Dear District 25: You need a write in.
District 47 State Representative: Paul Workman. He is anti NDAA, which is good, though he looks a little gun rabid. Oh well. This IS Texas. Everyone is gun rabid. His opposition is Ryan Downtown who is seriously establishment. Establishment status quo is bad. Vote that bastard out and vote Paul Workman in.
District 48 State Representative: Robert Thomas. Robert Thomas is firmly anti-NDAA. Though tragically I have lost the link that demonstrates that. Oops. Also running unopposed.
Place 2 Justice 3rd Court of Appeals: Jeff Rose. Running unopposed. Looks okay.
Place 3 Justice 3rd Court of Appeals: Madeleine Connor. She looks solid and her opposition Scott Field doesn’t.
Place 5 Justice 3rd Court of Appeals: Uncommitted. David Puryear is running unopposed there. Just couldn’t find enough on him to make a solid estimation.
Place 6 Justice 3rd Court of Appeals: Bob Pemberton. Bob Pemberton looks all good. Yay!
County Tax Assessor-Collector: Vik Vad. He’s running unopposed. He seems okay.
Precinct 3 County Commissioner: Ira Yates. It took a lot of digging to find info on Ira Yates and I was kind of despairing and then I found info and bam, he got a star for massive expertise and hands on personal and professional experience.
Precinct 2 Constable: Toby Miller. He wins because he looks okay and his opposition Harrera appears pro war on drugs. Ugh.
Precinct 3 Constable: J Miller. He wins because I can’t find much on his opposition and he’s got a long track record in law enforcement that looks decent and he’s also done lots with K9 units. [I trust dog people over most other people. Right or wrong, it's a character fluke. Sorry.]
There are four issues on the ballot. I’m for school choice, for repealing the mandatory purchase of health insurance that’s unconstitutional, for prohibiting government restriction of public prayer, not because I’m big on public prayer but because I think it’s a freedom of speech issue and I’m pro freedom of speech. I’m still studying this balanced budget thing and don’t know much about what that’s about. And I don’t know much about this redistricting issue. Though historically, redistricting is usually an establishment tool used to disenfranchise opposition so I’m not big on it generally. But I have to study more.
So that’s it. The cheat sheet to date. Do with it what you will.
Love and Kisses,
Your See You At The Polls Adams Girl
:::max adams texas presidential primary cheat sheet:::