chigger hell
August 27, 2012
Texas reminds me of Malibu. Every time I turn around, something is trying to eat me. Something spider bit me. I am allergic all the time in just my skin and, oh, eyes! — to just the air.
And now. Something ate hell out of my legs.
Fifty bites? I kid not, I lost count after fifty. And here is the thing. After days, the bites were not fading. So I was all WTF? Seriously? Not fading bites? WTF is up with that?
[I get to curse here btw, Stephen Fry says so.]
I went kind of crazy on this.
I bleached every piece of clothing I ever wore a week of pre-bite.
I bleached the wood on the balcony.
I bleached all the bedding.
I bleached the concrete floors.
I probably went overboard and probably I did not even get bit here but how would I know? It feels like I am getting bit by fire ants most of the time it is not like it would stand out. And there are no more bites. But still. The bites do not leave. Ahhh!
A friend told me maybe they are chigger bites and [holy hell!] chigger bites don’t go away, they just keep going. Under the skin. Living God Damn chiggers. WTF?
Under. The. Skin. [Gack, Alien!]
She also said if you coated the bites with nail polish that would kill them.
I spent the other night coating my battle scars with nail polish. And it seems to actually be working.
I didn’t have any clear polish though, so I used this fantastical shade of orange. It is still fantastical too — on fifty plus chigger attacks.
If you see a woman at Whole Foods with a half bottle of bright orange nail polish slathered on her legs do not make fun dammit.
Your Chiggers Are Hell Adams Girl
joey
August 10, 2012
There was a kid —
In grammar school. His name was Joey. He wore shit clothes. Horrible cast off clothes. Like corduroy coats. He was a foster kid. He was tiny. Smaller than other boys. He wore bad glasses. Big rimmed glasses that probably came off the cheapest ugliest conveyor line of glasses ever. He was always nice though. Polite. He smiled at me sometimes. The world handed him the ugliest set of circumstances and he was still nice and still had a nice smile and I had no idea how that worked.
And those shit logging town boys used to wait for him. On the playground. On the path. Everywhere on his way home. They’d wait and they’d outrun him and they’d beat him up.
I stopped them once. I don’t know why I was on the same route that day, but I was, and it pissed me off. Seeing them picking on this kid because he wore an ugly corduroy coat and ugly glasses. Ugly shoes too. And he was too little to fight back and there were a bunch of them and only one of him. There was nothing this kid had to wear that didn’t set him up as a target.
There is this thing that happens among kids. This preying on the weak. Joey was weak. And I was angry and I stepped in there and yelled and they let him go.
That didn’t make us friends. He was sort of humiliated a girl saved him and didn’t smile much at me after. Also I have no freaking clue why, when I yelled, people stopped and listened. It’s not like I came from the right side of the tracks either. But when I got mad? People backed off. Even a pack of over hyped we’re-about-to-give-an-ass-whooping logger town boys backed off. And they let him go that day.
They didn’t let him go other days though. I wasn’t there other days. And one day Joey was gone. It didn’t work out at his foster home.
I’m thinking about Joey because of this story my friend Kym posted. About this kid. He got picked up in Northern California. Wanted for stabbing his step father to death. The kid is the step-son in a house with three younger sons who all belong to the dad. He’s little, like Joey. And at the age of twenty, he backed into a kitchen, said don’t come any closer, and when Step Dad did, the kid stabbed him. And the step-dad died. And the kid ran.
And his grandfather is telling him to turn himself in. Really, Grampa? That’s your back up plan?
They just picked Zachary Price up in Northern California and are shipping him back to Texas.
They have the death penalty in Texas.
And now I am thinking about Joey.
duct tape is my friend
June 12, 2012
My recent unexpected house guest.
Why I will have no more unexpected house guests.
Sometimes, duct tape is very feng shui.
After exhaustive study, and this is no small thing, being new to Texas and having to bone up on everything as a noob, and knowing full well I am a noob so may be making some glaring errors — point it out please before Tuesday if I am — I have come to conclusions about Republican candidates in upcoming primaries.
It’s important to do this because voting is next Tuesday and I figure it doesn’t do a whole hell of a lot of good to send someone to Washington as president if you don’t also send other people to DC that will back him up. And that means state support too. Because one of the big conflicts between federal and state government is the clash of federal power with state power. Don’t believe me? Look at all those medical marijuana facilities getting raided by the feds. Cancer patients can do medical marijuana in California, according to California state law. But the feds keep breaking down doors anyway. Not to mention since I’m shoving for a return of state power, well, maybe I better get cracking on what’s happening in the state. Sheesh. So many politics. So little time.
THE MAX ADAMS REPUBLICAN TEXAS PRIMARIES CHEAT SHEET
[*hint, do not hit star gifs below like links,
links are blue text here, not gifs.]
President: Ron Paul.
United States Senator: Glenn Addison:
Addison’s the one guy staunchly in favor of constitutional rights. Like, not getting beat to shit when you peacefully protest and not getting thrown in jail for the rest of your life without charges or a lawyer or a trial. He’s anti-war. And he’s the one guy vocally supporting Ron Paul.
District 10 Rep: Eddie Traylor. Technically Traylor is not good. But his opposition is Michael McCaul. McCaul=CISPA. Throw that bastard out and vote Traylor.
District 17 Rep: George Hindman. I don’t really like Hindman either, he appears to be pro war. But he’s good on the Constitution and protecting citizen’s rights and his opposition is Bill Flores. Flores supports NDAA. Throw that bastard out and vote Hindman in.
District 21 Rep: Richard Morgan.
District 25 Rep: Uncommitted. I can’t find anyone with any redeaming qualities running in this one. Several of them are flat out bad, and a couple of them I just can’t find info on online. Sorry District 25. You guys are screwed unless you come up with a write in candidate.
District 35 Rep: Rob Roark.
Railroad Commissioner: Becky Berger.
Railroad Commissioner Unexpired Term: Barry Smitherton. This is really a default choice because Elizabeth Murray-Kolb appears pro-fracking [wtf!] and the other two guys look bad. So Smitherton is one of those “do the least damage” choices.
Place 2 Justice Supreme Court: Steve Smith.Place 4 Justice Supreme Court: Uncommitted. David Medina is a Perry person. John Devine looks bad. And I can’t find anything about Joe Pool Jr. online to give me much of an idea about him.
Place 6 Justice Supreme Court: Nathan Hecht. He’s running unopposed and looks okay.
Presiding Judge Court of Criminal Appeals: Uncommitted. Sharon Keller is running unopposed. There’s a lot of nasty baggage here, going back to an appeal she refused to look at, saying, “We close at 5.” Granted, the guy being appealed for by his attorneys appears to have been a real monster who had already lost two appeals, but this sort of response is not necessarily what you want sitting on the bench if your loved one, or you, are on death row.
Place 7 Judge Court of Criminal Appeals: Barbara Parker Hervey. Running unopposed. Looks okay.
Place 8 Court of Criminal Appeals: Elsa Alcala. Running unopposed. Looks okay. You should check out this woman’s back story too. It’s pretty amazing.
District 5 Member State Board of Education: Steve Salyer.
District 10 Member State Board of Education: Rebecca Osborne.
District 14 State Senator: Uncommitted. Guy Fielder is running unopposed and I just can’t find enough information on him online to form an opinion there. Sorry Fielder, might want to work on that internet presence.
District 21 State Senator: Grant Rostig.
District 24 State Senator: Uncommitted. Troy Fraser is a natural resources guy and I couldn’t find info much outside of that on the guy.
District 25 State Senator: Anyone but Jeff Wentworth. Seriously. The guy was a spook, a lawyer, and now looks like a careerist politician. That’s not a good combo. His opposition is Donna Campbell, who looked bad, and Elizabeth Ames Jones who pretty much wins by default not because she’s good, she isn’t, but because she’s the least bad. But looks pretty establishment generic which is, well, bad. Dear District 25: You need a write in.
District 47 State Representative: Paul Workman.
District 48 State Representative: Robert Thomas.Place 2 Justice 3rd Court of Appeals: Jeff Rose. Running unopposed. Looks okay.
Place 3 Justice 3rd Court of Appeals: Madeleine Connor. She looks solid and her opposition Scott Field doesn’t.Place 5 Justice 3rd Court of Appeals: Uncommitted. David Puryear is running unopposed there. Just couldn’t find enough on him to make a solid estimation.
Place 6 Justice 3rd Court of Appeals: Bob Pemberton.Sheriff: Raymond Frank.
County Tax Assessor-Collector: Vik Vad. He’s running unopposed. He seems okay.
Precinct 3 County Commissioner: Ira Yates.
Precinct 2 Constable: Toby Miller. He wins because he looks okay and his opposition Harrera appears pro war on drugs. Ugh.
Precinct 3 Constable: J Miller. He wins because I can’t find much on his opposition and he’s got a long track record in law enforcement that looks decent and he’s also done lots with K9 units. [I trust dog people over most other people. Right or wrong, it's a character fluke. Sorry.]
There are four issues on the ballot. I’m for school choice, for repealing the mandatory purchase of health insurance that’s unconstitutional, for prohibiting government restriction of public prayer, not because I’m big on public prayer but because I think it’s a freedom of speech issue and I’m pro freedom of speech. I’m still studying this balanced budget thing and don’t know much about what that’s about. And I don’t know much about this redistricting issue. Though historically, redistricting is usually an establishment tool used to disenfranchise opposition so I’m not big on it generally. But I have to study more.
So that’s it. The cheat sheet to date. Do with it what you will.
Love and Kisses,
Your See You At The Polls Adams Girl
:::max adams texas presidential primary cheat sheet:::
poetry mayhem
April 26, 2012
If you look at us, we’re an odd threesome to be hitting a poetry slam. I disdain poetry. Except for Bukowski. Mostly I think poets are emotional masturbators. Drew, well I suspect Drew’s sneaking around to music clubs doing open mic night but not poetry clubs. Michael is the one who might do a poetry slam. But if he has he hasn’t told his filmmaker brethren about it.
[We are all filmmakers. But, as filmmakers, we are supposed to be above "art" on one plane, and all about "art" on another. We live in a weird place, we filmmakers.]
But. Michael was coming to town. Drew had been corralled and was going too. And I need to leave the house more often because if I do not I may grow an umbilical cord to this computer. So I put on pretty shoes and off I went to this “poetry slam.”
I did not think I would like it. I have never been to a “poetry slam” and really all I was thinking was, Haight Ashbury 1960’s, wow this could seriously be a bad fashion and hair nightmare —
Okay, it really was a bad fashion and hair nightmare [also the beards and sideburns ahh!] but also? The poets were really good. Like “open a vein and make you feel and think” good which is what good writing is about.
Yay poets!
I have favorites now too. Which is a little traumatic. But hey, these poets are getting shipped off to other states for competitive poetry mayhem and I am rooting for them.
My one piece of advice? Go on last. The scores appear to go up along with the volume of alcohol the judges have consumed. Take advantage of that.
