men hitting women

 

FOUR GOOD REASONS FOR A MAN TO HIT A WOMAN
~ by Troy Dunn

Lately, there has been much discussion about violence against women by the men in their life. Many have said there is never a good reason for a man to strike a woman but I disagree and today I am speaking out! I have six sons and I have taught them what my father taught my brothers and I: there are four good reasons for a man to hit the woman he loves;

1. Fire. If you look over at the woman you love and discover flames have overtaken your girl, you should absolutely knock her to the ground and start rolling her around.

2. Spider. If your princess discovers a spider wandering across her shoulder and with sheer terror in her voice says “GET. IT. Off! You should smack that 8 legged sucker right off of her.

3. Choking. If over dinner she begins to laugh at another one of your amazingly funny stories and in the process, lodges a bit of her steak in her throat, you have my full support to yank her out of her chair, spin her around and start squeezing her beneath her rib-cage until she spits up!

4. Train. If, while enjoying a peaceful, after dinner walk with your lover, you notice she has wandered into the path of a quickly approaching oncoming train, by all means, grab her by her arm and like the strong man you are, yank her backwards aggressively.

 


Max Note: Cardiac arrest might go on that list too. You know if your love’s heart stops and you want to get it going again it might be okay to smack that heart back to attention. This is also though the best way to commit murder in public, knock someone down and keep whacking them in the chest while shouting “Live dammit live!” So it’s kind of suspect.

 

this is adorable

August 23, 2014

 

push_up_dan_post_photo

 

The PushUp peeps posted a photo of everyone at PushUp waving to the AFW peeps.  That is adorable and hilarious to me.

Don’t know what I am talking about?  I will assume you have been in a monastery in Tibet under a vow of silence.  Hey, welcome back!  Go check out :::what I am talking about:::

 

Gotta Love the Oatmeal

August 4, 2014

todolist

Gotta love The Oatmeal.

Meanwhile, what should you be doing?

Checking out these bad ass posts. Doy.

–>South Park Writers Share Their Writing Rule #1

–>5 Instant Script Fixes

–>Authorial Intrusion is Your Friend

 


[you can even wear your underwear when you do it]

 

 

mad cap!

August 3, 2014

metal_horse

 

Yeah yeah yeah, maybe web design does not sound mad cap to you.

It is totally mad cap, but not in a good way.

Probably the stupidest term ever coined is “Web Master.”

“Webmaster” my ass, you Dungeons & Dragons freaks.  It is “Web Slave.”

Go see what I have been doing anyway: http://theafw.com/blog

July 16, 2014

misbehave_text

bunny on the couch!

July 15, 2014

 

rabbit_couch

 


ps: looking for a source and can’t find it, if you can, share — i stumbled across it via elizabeth croyden on fb

 

 

4th_To_Do

 

you are jaws

June 24, 2014

 

girl_beach_bw

 

I am perversely entertained by this:

YOU ARE JAWS

You are entertaining – riveting even. You are also absolutely terrifying. In fact, many people have developed an aversion to water precisely because of you. Some people will go out of their way to avoid you at all costs. But others just can’t get enough of you.

 


:::what movie are you:::

 

not the chair!

June 7, 2014

 

Screen shot 2014-06-07 at 2.22.43 AM

My beautiful little office chair is trying to go poof like a :::lucky T-shirt:::

Well the edge of the seat is.

It’s not actually covered in leather, it is covered in “leatherette.”

I guess “leatherette” has a 3 year expiration date.

I’m tracking down the manufacturer to see if I can buy the little chair a new seat.

I’m looking really hard at vinyl repair kits.

Dear Universe, if you know a good way to repair “leatherette,” help!

 


*i am mad dependent on unchanging physical pillars in my work environment, change or move furniture and it shoots a shock wave through so hard it can shut me down for weeks — this really confuses the :::social writers:::

 

Screen shot 2014-06-06 at 7.14.57 PM

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