wind tunnel skydive!

October 5, 2014

 

Extreme Indoor Skydiving from Cory on Vimeo.

I am so entranced by wind tunnel skydiving.

There is no way in hell I am jumping out of a plane a couple thousand feet above the ground depending on a parachute folded up with little rubber bands deploying from a backpack that parachute is stuffed into to stop me from hitting the ground.

[Unless, you know, the plane is going down the wrong way, then give me the backpack.]

But this? This I would totally do.

This is so cool.

 


*Also apparently there is an ifly Austin — this is so on!

 

ah the boy’s club

October 4, 2014

 

Ah the boy's club

The Boy’s Club is fun. Well not so much if you are not a boy.

It means every single male “screenwriting guru” out there can bash you with cheap references to bras and popsicles and you are supposed to be nice about it. I guess?

I’m not nice.

I’m a kid from the streets.

I will fucking cut you.

Don’t do that shit again.

 

liar liar

October 4, 2014

 

pinochio

 

When I was a kid growing up, adults said things to my parents like, “Oh your little girl is so pretty.”

Or, “Oh, your little girl is so smart.”

I just thought that’s what adults say to be polite.

 


 

Adults are total liars.

Any kid knows this.

They say food is delicious when it isn’t. They say houses are lovely when they aren’t. They say their feelings aren’t hurt when they are. They tell someone she looks lovely when they are thinking the whole time, Wow, that outfit is a disaster —

Adults lie about everything ALL THE TIME.

 


 

How would it ever occur to me, as a kid, adults were sincere about anything nice they said about me?

 

omg!

October 3, 2014

 

OMG, you HAVE to see this pictorial right now: Leopard Cub | Daily Mail Online http://ow.ly/CenLn

 

Leopard Baby!

 

the value of joy

October 3, 2014

 

raccoon-holding-cat_200_cbSometimes I post —

A photo or story on Facebook that to me is —

Just fucking awesome and funny and intriguing and I don’t care if it’s true or not.

A raccoon carrying a kitten meme?

That to me is hilarious and wonderful. Yay!

 


 

Then —

Someone shows up.

“Oh that’s totally photoshopped.”

Or,

“Oh that’s totally not true here are 50 facts from the table of elements to prove that is wrong.”

 


 

I sit there stunned.

[And not for the right reasons, you robotic asshole fact checkers.]

 


 

Some things in this world and on the internet are just funny and wonderful and don’t have to make sense. A meme of a raccoon carrying a kitten will not make a single difference in wars or deaths or school lunches for little kids who will starve to death if the little kids don’t get those lunches —

But that meme will, for a moment, make me smile.

 


 

Stop trying to kill the smiles, you assholes.

 

Sometimes that is all we have.

 

wind from the east

October 3, 2014

 

storm

 

There is a strange feeling in the Austin air now. Air that has potential. That has power that could erupt, or not.

A wind was blowing hard from the west.

Blowing so hard, it was difficult to put a cigarette out in a deep ashtray without sparks blowing up and away on that wind.

Lightning lighting up the sky light gray instead of hard storm gray or night black.

Whispers of rain in the air, not hitting, but threatening and promising. “I am coming.”

And then.

Everything stopped.

Lightning. Wind. Promises of rain. Sparks stopped hanging. Wind stopped blowing. Lightning – froze.

Then the wind shifted.

Now it’s blowing from the East.

Picking up power.

I am used to wind from the west here.

I don’t know wind from the east.

 

you are a samarai!

September 28, 2014

www.freepix4all.com

You are a Samurai! You are quite skilled and competent. You’re good with your hands and good at talking yourself out of a tough spot. You are not known for your ability to forgive.

Which Ancient Warrior Would You Be? | BrainFall http://ow.ly/C2n8Q

 


[you know sometimes I am just around here to have fun]

november max classes

September 28, 2014

Max AFW Classes November 2014

Yes is it that time again when I announce stuff like November classes around the corner. Structural Writing and Dynamic Writing are on the horizon. I only teach Structural Writing once a year so if you want to hit that puppy before the year 2015, now is the time to sign up. See you there.

:::COURSES @ THE AFW:::

 

men hitting women

 

FOUR GOOD REASONS FOR A MAN TO HIT A WOMAN
~ by Troy Dunn

Lately, there has been much discussion about violence against women by the men in their life. Many have said there is never a good reason for a man to strike a woman but I disagree and today I am speaking out! I have six sons and I have taught them what my father taught my brothers and I: there are four good reasons for a man to hit the woman he loves;

1. Fire. If you look over at the woman you love and discover flames have overtaken your girl, you should absolutely knock her to the ground and start rolling her around.

2. Spider. If your princess discovers a spider wandering across her shoulder and with sheer terror in her voice says “GET. IT. Off! You should smack that 8 legged sucker right off of her.

3. Choking. If over dinner she begins to laugh at another one of your amazingly funny stories and in the process, lodges a bit of her steak in her throat, you have my full support to yank her out of her chair, spin her around and start squeezing her beneath her rib-cage until she spits up!

4. Train. If, while enjoying a peaceful, after dinner walk with your lover, you notice she has wandered into the path of a quickly approaching oncoming train, by all means, grab her by her arm and like the strong man you are, yank her backwards aggressively.

 


Max Note: Cardiac arrest might go on that list too. You know if your love’s heart stops and you want to get it going again it might be okay to smack that heart back to attention. This is also though the best way to commit murder in public, knock someone down and keep whacking them in the chest while shouting “Live dammit live!” So it’s kind of suspect.

 

 

Ohyez, in my continued efforts to make the internetz a better place one kilt at a time….

kilt_whoah

Dear Internetz: You’re welcome.

 

:::more kilts on facebook:::

 

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