bunkers need feng shui too dammit

 

I keep wondering —

What I would do if I didn’t write for Hollywood any more? I almost do not write for Hollywood anymore. I have been working years to make this one movie happen and it looks a little bleak on that front. So I could real soon be chalking up more years of my life making a movie happen that, hello, does not happen.

[Wow does that suck. Hollywood I so wish I could quit you.]

I keep coming back to feng shui.

 

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I am not sure being a feng shui person would get me a spot in any bunkers if WWIII broke out. I am not even sure feng shui is a profession the international community wants to import if I tried to make a run for the border. But feng shui is something I am good at.

 

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Bunkers need feng shui too dammit.

 

 

the boyfriend card

 

I am outside —

A club in San Diego. I am there seeing Thicker Than Thieves. Brian the guitar player is a friend — also so is his wife do not get ideas.

We [the girls] have had a lot to drink and are outside getting air [or in my case, inhaling cigarettes] and this guy outside is jumping up and down like he is in a mosh pit and “accidentally” slamming into us.

Even a non-smoker might have probs with this and I tell him to knock it off. Then my girlfriends and he get into some kind of stand off. “My boyfriend is this cool guy so much better than you and you suck so go away.” “My boyfriend is this cool guy so much better than you you suck so go away.”

Then the guy turns to me.

I say, “I don’t have a boyfriend I just don’t like you.”

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from markusram

return to max saves ginny’s marriage

 

Ginny has this —

Hot new arborist. According to Ginny, he is hot in an “I fix shit and I’m strong and the wattage of my smile powers small nations” way.

Wow.

You know that just spells trouble and is clearly a danger to Ginny’s vows. She cannot have some hot arborist trotting around her yard doing manly things she could succumb any second but fortunately for Ginny she has me and I am just throwing myself on my sword here Ginny next time the hot arborist is over just wave a cross and chloroform around until temptation and he collapse then stuff him in a box and ship him to my address.

Whew! Marriage saved.

 

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[Speaking of romance which we were not but now I am go read this essay at Eclectic Garden it makes me want to be another woman in another place.]

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from serendipity came across

thoughts & pearls

 

This is a story —

From the mountain. The second mountain, when things got a lot easier because I had neighbors within one mile dash distance and also aged wood. [Listen do not ever try to tough out a bad winter on a mountain alone with wood heat, no neighbors, one broken hand axe and green wood. That just never goes well.]

 

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thoughts & pearls

One of my artist dates was pulling out all my jewelry and looking at it. “Artist Dates” are a thing I picked up in “The Artist’s Way” [that is Julia Cameron stuff] and I have somehow convinced about ten people to do Artist Way as a group so I am following along being encouraging and also doing the pages and dates even if I have already done Artist Way twice.

[Forget the first time I was an Artist Way Drop Out and crashed and burned on chapter 8. That is just impolite to mention.]

I do not get to wear my jewelry very often. This is the woods. There is just not a lot of call for fancy jewelry here. So it sits. Packed in its box. Actually several boxes, probably twenty-five because there are pieces of jewelry I love so much they get their own special boxes which then is confusing when you go looking for one piece but all those boxes go in one box. And that is one of the boxes I carry with me. Along with the computers. Computers and jewelry and a bag o’ shoes. That is me.

Last time I pulled out all my jewelry, my pearls were looking dim. And I thought, Your pearls are dying without you. You must wear them.

Pearls are like that. They are living things. If you neglect them, they fade. And can just die.

So.

This artist date has been, Be With Pearls. I pulled out all my pearls and put them on. And here I sit in a pair of burnt out sneakers and exercise pants and an oversized nightshirt and pearl earrings and bracelets and necklaces all over me in the woods. It is pretty funny. But I like it. And it is for me and the pearls.

I remember my grandmother too when I wear pearls. She said a woman should not wear pearls until she is thirty. [My grandmother was strict about stuff like that.] Also she thought women should not buy themselves pearls. Pearls should be inherited or bought for them by the man they marry.

That is okay. She was older. She knew pearls had to be worn to live too. I remember her wearing them just for that. And telling me all about pearls. She got married four times too and that is pretty racey for a grandmother so I think she just wanted me to know how things should be instead of how they are.

My grandmother loved me. She is gone now but I sure love her.

I think about her when I wear pearls.

 

Your Life With Pearls Adams Girl

 

where i got the art work :
i cribbed that off anita marie’s

where that story comes from :
that comes from seemaxrun

franken kicks de bernardo’s ass

 

 

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*a big thank you to jamie leigh jones who fought for four years to make this public and change the outcome for for future sisters daughters and mothers

 

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*this has given new meaning to the :::arbitration my ass::: t-shirt on :::celluloid dog:::

 

meet the senators who voted pro gang rape

 

In 2005 —

Twenty year old American Jamie Leigh Jones was drugged and gang-raped by KBR co-workers in Iraq. [That attack was so violent, her breasts are permanently disfigured.] After her attack she was locked in a shipping container without food or water, and after release warned not to leave her post. Jamie was a long way from anywhere with no help in sight. She stuck it out. [Jones is not an isolated case.] And, after Jamie made it back to U.S. soil, where there should have been help in sight, she was prevented from bringing charges in court. Her KBR contract stipulated sexual assault allegations could not be made in court. Sexual assault allegations could only be heard in arbitration.

In response to abuses of the “arbitration” contract clause used by military contractors like KBR, Senator Al Franken (D-MN) recently proposed an amendment to the 2010 Defense Appropriations bill that would withhold defense contracts from companies that contractually block employees from taking workplace sexual assault and battery cases to court. The Amendment passed. You would think something like this would pass unanimously too. Surely our Senators in Congress do not want to employ and protect companies that sanction gang rape? But it did not pass unanimously.

Thirty Senators voted against the Franken amendment. They all have four things in common. They are all Republicans. They are all white. They are all male. And judging by their votes, they all think gang rape is just a little horseplay among friends. Here are their names. And if you didn’t vote McCain/Palin be glad. McCain is on the list.

Alexander (R-TN)
Barrasso (R-WY)
Bond (R-MO)
Brownback (R-KS)
Bunning (R-KY)
Burr (R-NC)
Chambliss (R-GA)
Coburn (R-OK)
Cochran (R-MS)
Corker (R-TN)
Cornyn (R-TX)
Crapo (R-ID)
DeMint (R-SC)
Ensign (R-NV)
Enzi (R-WY)
Graham (R-SC)
Gregg (R-NH)
Inhofe (R-OK)
Isakson (R-GA)
Johanns (R-NE)
Kyl (R-AZ)
McCain (R-AZ)
McConnell (R-KY)
Risch (R-ID)
Roberts (R-KS)
Sessions (R-AL)
Shelby (R-AL)
Thune (R-SD)
Vitter (R-LA)
Wicker (R-MS)

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce lobbied against the Franken amendment as well. I guess being opposed to co-worker gang rape is not good for business?

 

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*see your senator on that list contact him and :::tell him he sucks:::

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*sources :
:::think progress:::
:::huffington post:::
:::minnesota idependent:::
:::npr:::

 

where the art work comes from:
that is from yves

this post inspired by men who date badly

 

Ahem —

Things Men Shouldn’t Do On Dates :

Announce you broke up with your long time steady three days ago — in the car before your date’s seatbelt is on or you turn the engine on.

Tell your date you are on a budget — suggest she stick to the house salad and breadsticks.

Suggest your date wear high heels — then suggest a [long] [budget friendly] walk after salad & breadsticks dinner.

 

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*feel free to contribute additions….

 

we interrupt this program

 

In the midst of fire, flame, brimstone and political purgatory —

A friend sent me this. It is very beautiful. And time outs for beauty are warranted. Without it the eternal battle would be very empty. What would we win?

 

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And then I found this too. Which I cannot leave out it has to be here too.

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the chesher files

 

max grabs a smoke @ lacy’s wedding party
photo by friend deborah chesher
*little worried about that dead thing

 

 

where that photo comes from :
phtographer deborah chesher

the virgin survey

 

Okay I know what you thought when you saw “virgin survey.” [Pervo!] “Virgin” there just means “brand new never taken before” survey. [Pervo!]

From the authors: There are no answers here yet because we just WROTE this. That’s how good we are. [“We” there is the ever lovely Miss Rachael Black and her partner in crime TK.] Be good friends and reply and if the Fates smile upon you we shall answer this in kind.

Peace and Prozac,

Rachael and Terry

 

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THE VIRGIN SURVEY

1. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

Fuck Tootsie Pop I want the Reeses.

2. Leather or ropes?

Silk ties are better.

3. You have plenty of booze in the house but no ice. It’s 100F . Do you A) Drive to the store half-drunk for supplies B) Send your teenage daughter with no license for a bag C) Call a drunken friend to the party and tell them to bring ice D) All of the above because you can never have too much ice.

Um. Problem. The teenager with no license stole the car.

4. You’re at a party. Brittany Spears comes on over the stereo. What do you do?

Oh I see. This is going to be a cruel and unusual survey. [Um, you think I would recognize a Brittany song? Really?]

5. Fucking flies.

What is the plane fucking flies Alex?

6. The guests at your impromptu BBQ are spilling shit everywhere, pole dancing, and breaking lamps. What do you do?

Check their wallets for cash. What? They are drunk they will not notice.

7. You’re on a second date. The first date went wonderfully. Your partner turns out to be a psycho. No really. On ALL levels. Your response?

This is why all building codes require a window or vent shaft in all bathrooms.

8. How lame are you? Really. A guy/gal calls you for a date and you’re not into it. Are you talked into the date anyway?

Tragically the historical record says yes. Then I postpone. Then I postpone again. Ultimately if forced I will send a funeral invitation. Most guys do not continue pursuing you if they think you are a corpse. Um. Most.

9. How many Facebook users does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fifty-two. One to screw the light bulb in, one to snap and post the photo — and fifty to share it. [This number goes up geometrically if Number One is drunk and in a compromising position.]

10. Nasty picture of old flames?

Sorry I mailed those to his mother.

11. Death Panel or Blue Shield?

Cake please.

12. Small children: Pain in the ass or food source?

Surely you saw Oliver Twist. Those little bastards are earners.

13. KY or Kama Sutra?

I assume you are not referring to Kentucky there?

14. Sean Connery or Trebek’s mother for $200

I am a little short of cash I had better go with Connery.

15. Sports or Wine?

You say that like drinking is not a sport.

16. They call me A) Ahab B) Arab C) Johnson.

Not if they want to live they don’t.

17. People honestly think that you’re a celebrity. What do you do?

Not laughing is usually Plan A.

18. Could you kill someone?

As soon as I find out who talked we are going to double test this portion of the exam.

19. Ever have sex with someone out of pity?

Wow this could go so wrong. Um. Define “pity”?

20. Does God love you?

You always know how high you are on God’s favorites list by just how hard he kicks you around. So far the Jews have me beat. Something about some holocaust thing. Cheaters!

21. Follower or Leader?

Did you bring silk ties?

22. Hider or Seeker?

Is this before or after I empty the pole dancing barbeque guests’ wallets?

23. Your mom just told you that your sister is only your half-sister. After 40 years. Do you A) go to Disneyland B) Say I knew the bitch didn’t belong to this family C) Other. Please explain.

Listen I am still holding out for “You are adopted and not related to any of these people.” [Way to crush a dream Facebook Survey.]

24. What is love to you?

Love Story flashback ahhhh! [You asked that to totally screw with the film majors right?]

25. Cats or dogs? No, to be eaten by.

Am I dead first? This is going to seriously make a huge difference.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from gregbrophy