i am so on strike

 

Oh I see. You think you can just neglect my fun :::wedding or shark attack poll::: and I will just keep posting away for your fun and amusement?

Think again Bluto.

Now go vote on :::my fun poll:::. Jeez. I am so on strike.

 

:::

wedding or shark attack?

 

Let’s do a poll —

[I have never tried out this poll feature so this could go tragically wrong.]

 

 

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where the art work comes from :
that is a chanel scooped at rhiannon mars’s

stil made me do it

 

Stil is making me tell this story.

Way way back on Columbus Day Stil and I went to the beach. And did beach things. Till it was getting later and we were walking the path back to the boardwalk. [There is not really a boardwalk I just call it that, it is a main strip of concrete full of little open air stands selling cheap sunglasses and beachy stuff running along the Venice beach front.]

We are walking along and there is this couple in front of us. They are definitely a couple. They are holding hands. The guy is tall. Kind of awkward and angular. In that awkward angular guy way some guys are just awkwardly lanky and tall but not in an unattractive way. The woman is short. Squat. Okay squat is being kind —

She has an ass the size of New Jersey.

She is wearing jeans too tight and too low that force skin to bulge above her jean “waistline” [that cannot be good for circulation] and also create lower body bulging that will never be mistaken for fabric bunching. She has a cheap shirt on. Flip flops. And long dark hair that can only be described as Blair Witch friendly.

I look at her. I look at him. I look at Stil. I say, SHE has a boyfriend.

Stil cracks up really hard.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from jenny buffay

return of the mocking bird

 

My mocking bird is back —

It is after 3 in the morning and he is singing his lungs out to me.

The mocking bird totally dumped me a while back.

But now. He is back. Singing. And singing. And singing.

Clearly this mocking bird is drawn against his will and judgment to something he knows is so wrong for him.

 

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*ironically this defines most of my experience with the opposite gender

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from exirde

crush factor

 

I was at this party —

Talking about guys [I know that comes as a shock] when someone said, What is a crush?

This was a funny question to me my whole life people have been talking about crushes but maybe that is a U.S. thing so I came up with a definition and someone else came up with a definition and pretty soon there were a whole bunch of different definitions for “crush” and very few of them were the same. Some sounded like love, some sounded like passing infatuation, some were long term, some were short, some were unreciprocated, some love affairs that could not be consummated —

Then I threw straight girl crush and straight guy crush into the ring and half the people had never heard of that [they are running in the wrong circles, or I am, jury is out] and —

It is real clear “crush” is a common term used by a whole hell of a lot of people, but also that it means a whole hell of a lot of different things to a whole hell of a lot of different people. How confusing is that?

 

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crush : noun : an intense but usually short lived infatuation….

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from lorrainemd

evil luring breadsticks

 

The other day —

I heard a man on the television say men would not cheat if there weren’t so many women willing to be there for men to cheat with.

This was on a talk show and a whole bunch of women in the audience nodded saying, “Yes, yes.” Like the whole answer to men cheating was [those bitches!] other women.

This is kind of stupid to me. Of course, if a man is going to cheat, there needs to be someone alive and willing for him to cheat with. [Do not always assume it is another woman either guys cheat with guys just fine.] Just like, if a person is going to over eat, there has to be food there for someone to eat. But I do not see anyone blaming the food: “Yeah, he wouldn’t have eaten that breadstick if there weren’t so many breadsticks that were so damn willing.”

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from lugerla

signs

 

I love this. Kitty posted it. It is all about love. It is the perfect Valentine’s Day clip.

 

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uh oh

 

Uh oh.

Twenty one days till Valentine’s Day and NO BOYFRIEND.

This is no way to get flowers and candy.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from alacrity danger

we need a new label system

 

This labeling —

Partners/lovers sitch has been in trouble a long time. A friend’s “boyfriend” died. That was the label for him since they did not live together and were not married, he was “boyfriend.”

They were a couple though for seven years. Hello? “Boyfriend”? For someone you have shared a bed and your life with, if not your electricity bill with, for the last seven years?

That just does not work.

 

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Someone tried to fix this a while back coming up with “significant other.” But that is just an embarrassing term. I flinch any time I hear or use it.

 

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Maybe we could do it the way universities do it. Use titles. Various titles establishing degrees of relationship. Like, there is mother or father of my children. I know a lot of people who are not married but have children. Surely they cannot be boyfriend/girlfriend. Creating another human must be more significant than that. Then a degree of attachment. Like, this is the only person I am dating versus this is one of several people I am dating. Then, length of time. You know, seven years? That is significant. I am thinking we should do it like the Germans do it too.

The Germans are very formal and good with degrees. Like you cannot just say doctor, you have to say professor doctor doctor and list every single degree there to be polite in German. I think that would really work in this sitch. Father of my child/lover of seven years/the only person I spend time with romantically is just much more accurate than “boyfriend.”

 

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I am going to work this out in a graph and come up with flippy names. It will take a while. I am not so good with graphs. [Though pretty good with flippy names.] This must be fixed.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from thunderohl

there are no puzzles here

 

Sometimes —

When I talk to people I have this feeling they are trying to find riddles in me that are not there. I say something simple like, The sky is blue, and a day later they say, You said this thing, The sky is blue, and I have been thinking about what it means and I think it means the sky is an odd circumvention of the jet propulsion system. [I am making that up but you get the gist.] And I sit there, kind of perplexed, and finally say, Well no, it just sort of meant exactly what I said: The sky is blue.

When I get in these situations I always feel like the person I am talking to is looking at a blackboard behind my head trying to find clues when really they do not need clues. I am pretty much a what you see is what you get girl. I do not speak in code. I say what I mean.

 

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The other side of the coin is someone who continually tells me what my reactions or actions should be or would be if I was really saying what was true in a situation. I say, Hey, that made me mad, that is why I did that. [Mad as in angry, not mad as in hatter.] The person says, Well if you were mad wouldn’t it be more logical to do this other thing?

I sit there in those scenarios thinking, Um, what about being mad is logical? Mad is not logic, mad is emotion and emotion is not logical. And also why are you trying to rewrite me or change the meanings of my actions instead of just believing me when I tell you, When I am mad, this is what I do?

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from mcmone