mike’s very strange 34 questions thingy

 

 

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
My foot.

2. Where was your profile picture taken?
Where all covert action should be taken in an alley.

3. Can you play Guitar Hero?
Oh fuck no. I am too busy playing Tetrizz.

 

 

4. Name someone who made you laugh today.
Kristy Johansson.

5. How late did you stay up last night and why?
Very very late & why not?

6. If you could move somewhere else, would you?
France is looking good.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
When I kiss it is fireworks.

8. Which of your FB friends lives closest to you?
My lawyer says not to answer internet proximity questions.

9. Do you believe ex’s can be friends?
The historical record says no Alex.

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
I prefer David Tennant.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
Delicate flowers do not “cry really hard.” Mascara!

12. Who took your profile picture?
You are kind of obsessed with this photo thing aren’t you?

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
More photo questions. How many distant photos of me do you have in that basement shrine again?

14. Was yesterday better than today?
The day is young and I am hopeful.

15. Can you live a day without TV?
Scientific research indicates human life requires hydration, sustenance,and an ambient temperature. When electronic devices enter the picture I will let you know.

16. Are you upset about anything?
Not yet but this questionnaire is not over.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
You are totally outside taking photos aren’t you?

18. Are you a bad influence?
I am a shining beacon or virtuosity. Fresh!

19. Night out or night in?
Do I have male company? That will make a huge difference you know.

20. What items could you not go without during the day?
I am going with pants and liquid beverages.

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
The majority of my hospital visits are unexpected and involve nurses ineptly sticking me with sharp objects and threatening helicopter rides if I do not cooperate.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
“There is a guy outside your window with a zoom lens.”

23. How do you feel about your life right now?
I do not feel “about” life. I feel life.

24. Do you hate any one?
Everyone I ever hated is dead.

25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?
Many messages from shockingly attractive men.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
How many drugs do I have to take to pass this test?

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Doy. But does pillow talk count?

28. What song is stuck in your head?
Nothing is stuck in my head. That is a pre-existing condition you know.

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
I am a little worried about being on a floor above street level, did someone just go vampire or something?

30. Do you want to have grandkids before you’re 50?
Grandkids? I do not even have kids. Jeez.

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow.
Battle Satan, save human kind, choose the right shoes, nothing big.

32. Do you think too much or too little?
I think just right Goldilocks.

33. Do you smile a lot?
Define “a lot” Camera Boy.

34. Best thing you ate in the last 24 hours.
I chewed through a couple Republicans, does that count?

 

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[note, this quiz originated on fb with some ridiculous name like "the honesty quiz" bwahahahhaha]

 

u is for underwear

 

It is past time —

For a new survey but I cannot always lean on Rachael for surveys [Rachael always does the best surveys but she has not done one in a LONG time] so I went and hunted one up. I am just all pro-active like that [not really but it was totally time] so —

The A to Z Survey. Yay!

 

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A is for Allergies~ Grapefruit, Vaseline and, um, [okay just do not ask] Nanoxynol-9.

B is for Beer~ Becks. Yay!

C is for Career~ Writer, teacher, girl wonder.

D is your dog’s name~ Okay I am so stealing my friend’s dog Oscar here.

E is for Essential item you use everyday~ A tiara and a prayer.

F is for favorite TV show~ What is The Untitled Max Adams Project Alex?

G is for Game~ Man Hunt Yay!

H is for home town~ Highway 101 : Population California.

I is for instruments~ Um, musical, world domination, or mass destruction?

J is for juice~ Merlot.

[What? It has grapes.]

K is for whose butt you’d like to kick~ Um. Answering this question is what we in the assassin ninja biz call “telegraphing.” We do not do that.

L is for last place you lived~ Hollywood Baby.

M is for marriage~ Come back with a bigger diamond and we might talk.

N is your name~ Max Dammit Adams.

O is for overnight hospital stays~ Is “more than I can remember a count on” bad?

P is for passion~ I lusted after Simon Baker during a TV break today does that count?

Q is for quote~ “I am tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want an adorable pancreas?”

[Jean Kerr rocks.]

R is for regret~ I totally regret REPEATEDLY not winning The Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes.

S is for status~ 10 cigarettes, 1 glass of wine, 117 pounds. But the day is young and there is more wine in the fridge — and ice cream yay!

T is for the time you woke up~ Hello? Crazed artist here? We do not check clocks when we rise we check clocks when we set.

U is for underwear~ That is a pretty frisky question coming from someone asking marriage questions with no ring.

V is for vegetable~ Um. No offense but I only date in my own weight class.

W is for worst habit~ Hey. I look damn good in a habit.

X is for X-ray~ Foot ankle shin knee [are we counting MRI’s or just straight X-rays?] wrist shoulder forearm skull neck spine teeth jaw lungs stomach — oh hell let’s just figure my chromosome count is a little off by now and call this bad boy done.

Y is for your favorite sport~ Hockey yay! Okay not really hockey. Hockey players. Yay!

Z is for zodiac~ Aquarius. But I have this thing for Virgos….

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from chaovsky

tread on this

 

You are —

High Heeled Boots

You are incredibly sexy. There’s no way you could hide it, so you just flaunt it.

You are a naturally talented flirt. You make everyone feel fascinating and attractive.

You have a wild streak. You like to have fun, and your idea of fun is pretty outrageous.

You dare to be yourself and live life courageously. People respect you for it.

 

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:::what kind of boots are you:::

 

where i nabbed that quiz :
i nabbed that quiz at rain’s

where the art work comes from :
that is hotel paradiso 2 by britcat100

jesus has a pms day

 

Jesus thinks you’re —

A Sanctimonious Prick

He’s tired of your shit. Nobody thinks you’re different, or interesting, or cool. Certainly not the Saviour of all Men. Jesus wants you to quit being such a tool.

 

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[That is a facebook quiz so you have to take it on facebook. It was funny as hell to me though.]

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from j.k. nuke

a moment my pilgrim grandmother will so not approve of

 

Your breasts should be called —

Fire & Brimstone

 

 

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:::what should your breasts be called:::

 

where i nabbed that quiz :
i nabbed that quiz at rain’s

where the art work comes from :
that is from astro twilight

prone to randomness

 

 

 

 

It has been a while —

Since I did a Rachael survey.

Luckily Rachael tracked me down.

Yay!

 

 

 

Prone to Randomness: A Diabolical Questionnaire
brought to you by rachael black

 

1. Elaborate on your default picture?
Whatever happened to “a picture speaks a thousand words”?

2. What’s your current relationship status?
With my computer or the opposite sex? The computer and I are fine….

3. Ever have a near-death experience?
Yes last time I colored my hair.

4. Name an obvious quality you have.
If it is obvious you name it.

5. What’s the name of the song that’s stuck in your head right now?
Those cheap psychobabble tricks do not work on me. Eeyi eeyi oh ~

6. Name a celebrity you would marry?
Marriage is so permanent. Couldn’t we just have rough wall sex?

7. Who will cut and paste this first?
Please do not feed the stalkers.

8. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
Ahem. I am a celebrity. [Okay freak moments of grandiosity aside, yes.]

9. Do you wear a watch? What kind?
I wear a pocket watch around my neck that is just how I roll.

10. Do you have anything pierced?
I prefer to pierce others.

11. Do you like pain?
That depends. Let’s talk more about wall sex….

12. Do you like to shop?
Hate shopping, love buying.

13. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
White out. [Wow grandiosity just flat lined.]

14. What is your favorite lamp that you own?
The lamps get violent when I play favorites.

15. How many TVs are in your house?
Does the TV in the closet count?

16. What is on your desktop background?
The Mac logo — like God intended.

17. What is the background on your cell phone?
The T-Mobile logo. [You are sure big on backgrounds aren’t you?]

18. What was the last movie you watched in theaters?
Rachael Got Married. Do not ask.

19. What was the last book you read?
Do comics count?

20. Do you talk in your sleep?
Talk, walk, dance the light trapeze.

21. Ocean or pool?
Do not be crazy there are sharks in that pool.

22. Did you ever have a party that was busted by the cops?
Define “party.”

23. Current Crush?
Eenie meenie minie mo…

24. What’s your favorite colour(s)?
Sky blue

25. Window seat or aisle seat?
Any seat by the emergency exit.

26. Ever met anyone famous?
I work in Hollywood what do you think?

27. Do you feel that you’ve had a successful life?
“Had” is premature it ain’t over Babe.

28. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
I cut it. Then I dress it in little outfits.

29. Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey?
Aaaahhhhh!

30. Baseball or Football?
I have always been prone to short stops but with football I have a mad thing for running backs….

31. How long do your showers last?
Alone or with others?

32. Do you know how to drive a stick?
Doy.

33. Cake or ice cream?
Why is this an either or question?

34. Are you self-conscious?
Hell no. Hey what are you looking at?

35. Have you ever given money to a homeless person?
Yes.

36. Have you been in love?
Yes.

37. What is your favorite part of the Day/Night?
Night night night night night….

38. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Many times. I wonder if my mother has learned how to drive yet.

39. Can you tango?
I can dance anything you throw at me but you better know how to lead.

40. Last gift you received?
A sewing machine. All my pants fit now yay!

42. What would you like to spend a lot of time doing?
You are just fascinated by wall sex aren’t you?

44. Favorite FAST food restaurant?
Taco Bell yay!

45. Most hated food?
Beets. Ahhhh!

46. Can you sing?
You bet.

47. Last person that called you?
A telemarketer. Let me tell you about near death experiences….

48. What’s your least favorite chore?
There are so many but at the moment the tub is looking gruesome needy ahhh!

49. Favorite drink?
Vodka Baby.

50. Have you been on a cruise?
Yes and I will never get those days back.

51. Are you a vegetarian?
Are you demented?

52. Do you believe in Heaven?
You just are not letting go of the wall sex thing are you?

53. Favorite show?
Still on the air? Saving Grace.

54. What jewelry do you wear?
Is it Tiara Tuesday yet?

55. Are you eating?
Is this an in general question or at the moment question?

56. Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
Is that veiled sex talk?

57. Do you make commitments?
Making commitments is easy. Keeping them is hard.

58. Can you dance?
We already did this one. Say how is that medication working out?

59. Would you ever have plastic surgery?
Absolutely. What do you think about tiger whiskers?

60. What do you wear to bed?
Perv.

61. Have you ever done anything illegal?
Never ever ever ever. :::whistling:::

62. Can you roll your tongue?
What I do with my tongue is classified.

63. What kind of shoes are you wearing?
Like anyone wears shoes at the computer.

64. What is your hair color?
Today? Chernobyl Blonde. Tomorrow? Back From the Apocalypse Blonde.

65. Future child’s name?
Hewbie. Hewbie Griggs. I believe in torturing children early.

66. Do you snore?
Never ever ever.

67. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I’m eyeing that wall.

68. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
What am I six?

70. Gold or silver?
Platinum.

72. City, beach or country?
There are beaches in the country AND in the city say you do not get out much do you?

73. What was the last thing you touched?
I do not know what you touch when you are typing but I have both hands on the keyboard. [Pervo!]

 

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*dear god please let all those links work

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from gurme’s blog

max the aphrodisiac

 

You are —

Chocolate

You make people feel euphoric and dreamy. You’re very addicting. You definitely drive people to passion, lust, and even obsession.

While you are quite sensual, you are also comforting. You sure know how to work your magic. It doesn’t take long to get someone to love you.

 

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:::what aphrodisiac are you:::

 

where i nabbed that quiz :
i nabbed that quiz at rain’s

where the art work comes from :
that is from gurme’s blog

the underwear oracle

Your underwear says —

You like to think of yourself as innocent, even though you’re not!

You’re sexy, in that pinup girl, tease sort of way.

 

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:::visit the underwear oracle:::

 

where the artwork comes from :
that is from vampirefreaks.com

and the oscar goes to…

 

You would win —

Best Costume Design

You are imaginative, artistic, and very unique. You are a natural designer.
You can picture entire movies in your head. You are incredibly visual.

As long as you can remember, you’ve always had a flare for fashion. You like to experiment with looks.

You like dressing up in costumes and outfits.

And not just for Halloween.

 

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:::what would you win an oscar for:::

 

where i nabbed that quiz :
i nabbed that quiz at grace’s

where the art work comes from :
that is imagery from the poster for the 79th annual Academy Awards
[seriously trademarked and registered to the Academy please do not hurt me]

kisses

 

You are —

An Intense Kisser

When you kiss, it’s deep and powerful.
You don’t take kissing lightly.
Your kisses always have meaning.
And they always make your head spin.

 

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:::what’s your kissing style:::

 

where the art work comes from :
that is desire from va va voom