honey badger alcatraz!

July 17, 2014

bunny on the couch!

July 15, 2014

 

rabbit_couch

 


ps: looking for a source and can’t find it, if you can, share — i stumbled across it via elizabeth croyden on fb

 

french bull dog!

July 5, 2014

 

french_bull_dog_cute

 

I just felt like posting a photo of an insanely cute French Bull Dog today.

 

 

cat_oatmeal

 


 


–>where i got that hilarious goodness:
–>the oatmeal
–>see more now

 

 

i have to post this

April 19, 2014

 

bunny!

 

catch!

March 22, 2014

 

german_shep_pupI’m on the balcony —

Having a smoke. There’s a small thump to my right. I look right, see nothing. I look up. There is a German Shepherd puppy on a third floor balcony with perked earls looking down at me intently.

I think it’s a German Shepherd puppy. It’s getting dark but the outline of those ears are kind of hard to mistake even if it is dusk. And definitely a puppy.

Then I know “what” to look for.

The tennis ball is lying on the ground right between our balconies.

 

 

black_sheep

I said I’d be back “tomorrow.”

Which is, um, “today.”

Oops.

Here is a cute sheep photo for your viewing pleasure.

 

the face

February 17, 2014

 

A friend was reading the recent Max interview and said, That’s great, but when are you doing something live so I can see your face?

No live interviews any time soon but here is the face.

 

max_face_bday_2014

 

Also, here is a dog in goggles for the less easily entertained.

 

doggles

 

 

 

This is so cool and hilarious.

“Joshie” is a toy giraffe a little kid left at a Ritz-Carlton in Florida.

Joshie is also the kid’s favorite toy.

[Uh ohs.]

So Dad calls the Ritz-Carlton, pretty sure this is going to go very wrong —

But it doesn’t.

Joshie is fine AND the Ritz-Carlton peeps cover for Dad’s story Joshie is “taking a second vacation” by creating a photo album of Joshie’s second vacation and sending it back with Joshie when they send Joshie home.

This is one of the photos:

Joshie Receives a 5 Star Massage in the Spa

Joshie Receives a 5 Star Massage in the Spa

 

:::CLICK HERE::: to see the rest of Joshie’s epic vacation album.

 

 

teddy_bear_questionable

 

I would like to say :::Lizard on the Doorstep::: is the only chance encounter I have had with an inanimate object in which I mistook an inanimate object for an immediate threat of the antisocial animal variety.

This would not be true.

 


 

Age 7: When asked to take the trash out after dark, mistook a discarded chair and couch in the dumpster for bears.

Age 8: When crawling under house foundation [don't ask, it is an eight year old thing] mistook mattress entrails for pack of attacking tarantulas.

 


 

[One reason my step-father will always be endeared to me is, he returned from each above emergency site saying things like "they did look like bears" and "that did look like a herd of attacking tarantulas."]

[Also he was totally right they did.]

 


 

Flash to Now: Going out onto balcony after dark for a smoke, mistook oak leaf of unusual size for alligator lizard.

 


 

In my defense, there have been a LOT of incidents that totally did involve living creatures of questionable hospitality:

:::Playing Chicken With the Bear:::

:::Red Racer:::

:::Duct Tape is My Friend:::

 


 

Also in my defense I have had a lot of non-reported antisocial animal encounters:

•Swarmed by usually-brine-shrimp-eating-not-max-eating spiders at the Greater Salt Lakes —

[I hope never again to find myself stripping on a public boating dock shouting, "Hit me with the hose!"] —

•Attacked by an innocuous twig that wrapped around my ankle and tried to bite me —

[yes, snakes do fly] —

•Escaped 350+ pound pigs trying to eat me —

[technically that was a lot my fault I should not have been in the pigs' yard on that farm but still, death by 300 pound pigs does not look good on a tomb stone] —

•Chased by an antisocial goat —

[yeah yeah yeah everything trying to hit you with horns looks big and aggressive when you are three but still, mental scars, people, mental scars!]

•There was a standard poodle who lived in a house on the way to school when I was in first grade and that damn poodle chased my bike every day on the way to school —

[I have a scar on my wrist still from the day my bike's chain fell off changing gears and that damn poodle finally caught me and took me down.]

[Also, no matter how many times your kid mistakes couches in the dumpster for bears after dark, (ONE TIME!), maybe listen when your kid tells you every day a dog is attacking her on the way to school --- that works out better than the day the school nurse calls saying your kid is all messed up from a bike crash and dog attack.]

 


 

TALLYING UP THE LIST here as well as events to remain unmentioned [yes unmentioned and they will REMAIN UNMENTIONED TOO] I’m going to say there were more antisocial animal encounters than inanimate object encounters.

Also that oak leaf of unusual size totally had it coming.

 


 

 

 

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