halloween frenzy
October 31, 2009
Attention —
The rest of the weekend will be spent Halloween carousing. If I am not back by Monday send the Saint Bernards. That is all.
[okay that is not a saint bernard but it is a very cute dog and i just like the photo]
mike’s very strange 34 questions thingy
October 28, 2009
1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
My foot.
2. Where was your profile picture taken?
Where all covert action should be taken in an alley.
3. Can you play Guitar Hero?
Oh fuck no. I am too busy playing Tetrizz.
4. Name someone who made you laugh today.
Kristy Johansson.5. How late did you stay up last night and why?
Very very late & why not?6. If you could move somewhere else, would you?
France is looking good.7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
When I kiss it is fireworks.8. Which of your FB friends lives closest to you?
My lawyer says not to answer internet proximity questions.9. Do you believe ex’s can be friends?
The historical record says no Alex.10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
I prefer David Tennant.11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
Delicate flowers do not “cry really hard.” Mascara!12. Who took your profile picture?
You are kind of obsessed with this photo thing aren’t you?13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
More photo questions. How many distant photos of me do you have in that basement shrine again?14. Was yesterday better than today?
The day is young and I am hopeful.15. Can you live a day without TV?
Scientific research indicates human life requires hydration, sustenance,and an ambient temperature. When electronic devices enter the picture I will let you know.16. Are you upset about anything?
Not yet but this questionnaire is not over.17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
You are totally outside taking photos aren’t you?18. Are you a bad influence?
I am a shining beacon or virtuosity. Fresh!19. Night out or night in?
Do I have male company? That will make a huge difference you know.20. What items could you not go without during the day?
I am going with pants and liquid beverages.21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
The majority of my hospital visits are unexpected and involve nurses ineptly sticking me with sharp objects and threatening helicopter rides if I do not cooperate.22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
“There is a guy outside your window with a zoom lens.”23. How do you feel about your life right now?
I do not feel “about” life. I feel life.24. Do you hate any one?
Everyone I ever hated is dead.25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?
Many messages from shockingly attractive men.26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
How many drugs do I have to take to pass this test?27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Doy. But does pillow talk count?28. What song is stuck in your head?
Nothing is stuck in my head. That is a pre-existing condition you know.29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
I am a little worried about being on a floor above street level, did someone just go vampire or something?30. Do you want to have grandkids before you’re 50?
Grandkids? I do not even have kids. Jeez.31. Name something you have to do tomorrow.
Battle Satan, save human kind, choose the right shoes, nothing big.32. Do you think too much or too little?
I think just right Goldilocks.33. Do you smile a lot?
Define “a lot” Camera Boy.34. Best thing you ate in the last 24 hours.
I chewed through a couple Republicans, does that count?
[note, this quiz originated on fb with some ridiculous name like "the honesty quiz" bwahahahhaha]
this is freaking hilarious
October 25, 2009
This is from —
Colin Nissan at Timothy McSweeney
IT’S DECORATIVE
GOURD SEASON,
MOTHERFUCKERSI don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is — fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash —
:::continue reading:::
we have a winner
October 24, 2009
I have been crushing on Matt Bomer the lead in White Collar just off previews and hoping and praying the show is good and it just premiered and it is good yay!
Go see. It is on USA Fridays. It is super fun. Yay!
grayson on maher
October 17, 2009
*let’s see how long this one stays up on youtube
no jesus no peas
October 11, 2009
this post inspired by men who date badly
September 30, 2009
Ahem —
Things Men Shouldn’t Do On Dates :
Announce you broke up with your long time steady three days ago — in the car before your date’s seatbelt is on or you turn the engine on.
Tell your date you are on a budget — suggest she stick to the house salad and breadsticks.
Suggest your date wear high heels — then suggest a [long] [budget friendly] walk after
salad & breadsticksdinner.
*feel free to contribute additions….
time for something fun
August 28, 2009
It is totally time for something fun. [Politics are fecking grueling ahhh!] Louis CK is totally fun. Yay!
We will return to universal health care shortly.
cartoon day yay!
August 22, 2009
Okay not totally cartoon day, but still, a cartoon. Yay!
