throw back thursday

June 5, 2014

 

max_hollywood_hot_dog

Max, Hollywood — I think 2009 — photo by Deborah Chesher.

And yes, the hotdog was delicious.  Yay!

 

 

 

Patricia Burroughs, This Crumbling Pageant

This is a guest post from the fabulous Patricia Burroughs, who has somehow run below the radar to talk about exactly what I told her not to talk about on my blog.

 


Of [Redacted] and Aubergine

Max wouldn’t let me write about [redacted]. I had to do that on Magical Words where I wrote about [redacted] and how Max mentored/bullied me into writing about them even though I Did. Not. Want. To).

Yes, there is Irony there.

So instead, I am writing about fashion.

Max is the Goddess Max in my pantheon for many reasons, one of which is her fabulous sense of design and All Things Fashion, including the Screenwriter’s Uniform in The Screenwriter’s Survival Guide.

And so when she nixed any mention of [redacted] on her blog, even though she made me write about them in my script, I decided I would write about fashion instead.

The problem is, I didn’t spend a lot of time writing about fashion in my dark epic fantasy, This Crumbling Pageant. And when I did write about fashion, I am not at all sure I wrote in such a way that Max, the Goddess of All Things Fashion, would approve.

I wrote about aubergine.

Aubergine is the French word for eggplant, that dark, dark purple that is almost black. In England in 1811, including the Magical version of England I write about, it is only worn by elderly dowagers.

Certainly not by young girls being presented to the Queen and to Society.

Persephone Fury’s sister [a beautiful duchess and a goddess of fashion in her own right] chose a lovely pale blue for her to wear.

But Persephone’s older brother interferes:

  

“Good gods,” Cosmo drawled. “So this is what they did to you?”

She blinked up at him, not believing her ears.

“I told them at all costs to avoid yellow, but I never dreamed they’d stick you in infant shades.”

She swallowed thickly. She looked nice; she knew she did.

“You’re fortunate to have me as your brother, poppet.” He sauntered into the room, waving the door shut behind him, locking it with a flex of his fist. “I thought they’d never leave.”

“What are you doing?” she demanded, fighting tears, all warm feelings gone in a flash. She curled her fingertips into her palms in an effort to calm herself. “You’re a wretch, Cosmo Fury, a wretch!”

He winced. “Oh good gods, and they even put a padded corset on you?”

She crossed her arms across her small breasts, her humiliation complete. She wouldn’t go downstairs, would never go downstairs, would leave London and never return.

“My sweet poppet, you’ll thank me.”

 

Should a seventeen-year-old girl ever have her older brother interfere and snatch away the dress the women in her family chose for her and replace it with one that doesn’t suit current fashion and worse, is an old woman color?

I guess it’s kind of obvious to say, read the book and find out. [Hey, that’s what blog tours are about, saying, read my book!]

This Crumbling Pageant is a book about magic and evil, about action and violence, about dark things and Dark things, about secrets and lies, and even in a scene or two, about [redacted].

But, it also has its moments of fashion, because this hero’s journey is happening to a girl.

And if that includes girly things like her menarche, her crush on the first man she meets, and her desire to be pretty for him?

Even better.

As for being trotted before Society to find a husband to further her family’s political ambitions…

Well, they can try.

And as for Max, and her opinions on the fashion choices in the book? Well, Max is always right. That’s a given.

But my characters? Will Persephone in aubergine be considered an Original or an Oddity?

The jury’s still out on that one. You’ll just have to read it to find out!

This Crumbling Pageant is available in print and digital at Amazon, BN and Kobo.

 


Patricia BurroughsNicholl Award-winning screenwriter and bestselling novelist Patricia Burroughs loves dogs, books, movies, and football. A lifelong Anglophile, she treasures her frequent travels in the British Isles researching The Fury Triad, the epic fantasy that has taken over her life and heart. She and her high school sweetheart husband are living happily ever after in their hometown of Dallas, Texas.

 

photo bomb!

May 6, 2014

 

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[max adams and sherry bybee]

 

quote o’ the week

May 5, 2014

 

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“I was going to LA and asked Max Adams if we could have breakfast one morning. She said yes, she’d love to, as long as it was in the afternoon.” ~ Patricia Pooks Burroughs

 


*ps: patricia has a :::guest post::: going up around these parts may 8th, stop back by to see

 

kite string!

April 24, 2014

 

kitestring_logo

KiteString looks like a really good idea.

I have done the thing where you pick up the phone and call a friend and say, “Listen, I’m in a sketchy situation here, I need someone to know my last known location just in case.”

This tends to worry people though when there’s no reason yet to worry.

KiteString looks better. You don’t have to scare anyone unless they really need to know your last known location.

I am signing up.

 


:::check out kitestring:::

 

 

Screen shot 2014-03-17 at 9.28.08 PM

cry baby cry!

March 6, 2014

 

Word is [via Slate] Getty images just dropped the pay wall and is trying something new, embeds that link back to the original source. I see that news and think, cool, I can go link some of my Getty photos without the watermark. [See for even me to use Getty photos of me without the watermark, there was some sort of pay scheme going --- which seems wrong but there you have it.]

I do a search. They come up, but not on Getty. On Zimio. Whut?

Here’s a Getty photo from the 25th Nicholl Fellowships Awards ceremony. Look how spiff we all look yay!

 

max_donna_michele_nicholl25th
[L-R: Rafael Arrieta, Donna McNeely, Michele Sutter, Max Adams and David Kurtz attend AMPAS' 25th Annual Don & Gee Nicholl Fellowships In Screenwriting Dinner at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel on November 4, 2010 in Beverly Hills, California.]

 


I love that photo but that’s not my favorite photo from that night. My favorite photo is not even a Getty photo it is an iPhone photo shot on the way to the awards when I hadn’t put my heels on yet and was stopping for a Diet Coke on the way. Yay!

 

max_coca_cola_nich

 

[I had been off sugar, chocolate, sodas, coffee, bread and booze for two freaking weeks before the awards ceremony. Your face looks pretty for the camera if you knock all that crud off for a couple weeks --- but you are crying hard for a soda. Cry baby cry!]

 

biological imperative

February 27, 2014

 

max_viper_bw_375Every once in a while, I remember, almost everyone I know wants to join up with another human being and create children.

Most of the time I forget other people have that imperative.

It startles me.

 

 

marilyn_head_shotThis really darling piece —

Showed up on Jezebel the other day, all about women needing stronger [or at least with better dialogue] roles in Hollywood. [I'll give you the link later, hang in there.] It features a youtube clip of actress and producer Olivia Wilde.

[From House, you punks, start reading the fucking credits.]

It’s titled “Olivia Wilde Crushes It When She Talks About Women in Hollywood.”

Olivia Wilde totally does crush it too. [I'll give you that link too if you stick around.]

[Stop scrolling, you attention deficit bastards, there is method to my madness.]

The problem is the Jezebel writer, Hillary Crosley, doesn’t “crush it.”

[Sorry, Hillary, I'm sure you're a lovely person.]

 



 

Here is how Hillary’s “go girls” article ends:

“First you get the producers, then you get the power, then you get the women.”

Cute. But. No. Though it is a darling twist on the protest quote “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

That is Gandhi right?

 



 

Hollywood is not Occupy Wall Street. Hollywood is a corporate living breathing high school metaphor — that is supposed to make a profit, not topple banking corruption or withstand pepper spray in New York parks. And the emphasis there though it should maybe be on “high school” is on “make a profit.” As in “huge fucking profit.” And if you don’t get that? You don’t get Hollywood.

Oops.

 



 

In Hollywood, producers don’t bring in the money – or the power.

Producers in Hollywood are matchmakers. They match talent [actors, actresses, directors, writers] with projects [books, adaptations, concepts, specs] and studios [studios are the purse that is highly corporate and also linked into more corporate deals like “distribution” which is often with other studios and often highly problematic and is also another subject entirely that would take a whole other post so moving on].

Or, using another metaphor, let’s pretend we’re planning a home coming dance.

Yay! Back to high school!

 



 

Producers are the party planners. Producers bring everyone together, but producers in Hollywood aren’t paying for the dance or directing the dance. They are just matching all the right players up so it sounds like a really fun party and everyone goes, “Hey, great party, fuck, everyone will come, let’s do it!” Then the studios supply the cash and you know, if you’re bankrolling the party, that gives you some say. But if you throw [bankroll] a party and no one comes to the party [no cover charges, no drink sales, ahhh!]? Like, the homecoming queen and king say, Fuck you, dead party, we’re going to the country club instead?

Dead in the water.

So that’s why the [prom queen] talent can have more clout than the studio [bank roll]. The talent [prom queen] is the core of the equation. Because if the prom queen boycotts your party?

No fucking party.

Did the metaphor work?

 



 

So the power, making Hollywood films? Resides with studios [the money], and with talent [the people the studios will throw money into a project with because if those people boycott future parties?, no more parties].

So how does this all boil down in terms of hot female lead and hot dialogue for female characters projects in Hollywood?

You don’t go to the producer. You go to the toughest female Hollywood talent on the block, with or without tats, they have served their time and fought their way up through the hierarchy and have the clout.

 



 

This does not mean producers are not important. Producers are crazy important. Mostly the party would not even happen without producers. But do you know who Gale Anne Hurd is? [God I hope so but doubt it. Go IMDB you fools. Ahhh!] How about Robert Evans? [No? Ahhh!]

 



 

In other words, Miss Crosley? You got it wrong.

You want to make hot female driven projects? You do not start with “the producers.” You start with the toughest women in Hollywood.

And when I say “tough,” I don’t mean prison tats. I mean, they are the prom queens of Hollywood. They have such powerful track records with the studios, have starred in so many films that made the studios so much money, if they say, I want to make this or star in this or produce this or direct this? The studio suits will say, “I can’t risk you not showing up at my next party, I will write this check.”

But —

There is a caveat.

[There always fucking is a caveat. This is Hollywood. Bummer.]

“If this party fails, you go to Tough Hollywood Babe With Clout Jail” and stop making me fund parties no one shows up to.”

That means the tough girls in Hollywood have something to lose every single time they back something. See, if the suits get really pissed? They could screw up that other thing we don’t have time to talk about — distribution. And something we haven’t even mentioned here — promotion. And to cannon ball past all that? That’s a lot of effort. And why would they do that for another woman instead of for themselves making profit off a film that is important to them, stars them, and will keep them and their film career alive another decade or more?

And that’s another subject that would make this post too long. So. Let’s go back to the original point.

 



 

You want more women dominated films in Hollywood? You want better roles for women in film? You want better dialogue for women in films? You don’t talk to the party planner [producers]. You talk to the prom queens [tough ass kicker women actors and directors and writers in Hollywood -- and the big prom queens are the actresses, you can't fire them halfway through principal photography without dropping millions, everyone else is fungible].

 



Wait, I promised you the Olivia Wilde clip too. Here you go yay!:

 

 

Also, I should link you to the Jezebel piece. Sigh:

:::jezebel piece:::

 



 

PS: Dear Jezebel Peeps: If you need someone who actually understands Hollywood on the payroll? Hit my link. If I’m too busy or expensive? I’ll refer you.

You’re welcome.

 

the face

February 17, 2014

 

A friend was reading the recent Max interview and said, That’s great, but when are you doing something live so I can see your face?

No live interviews any time soon but here is the face.

 

max_face_bday_2014

 

Also, here is a dog in goggles for the less easily entertained.

 

doggles

 

 

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