December 7, 2013
People continually post these posts about the only thing you regret on your deathbed being what you did not do. As in, you should have done a lot of stupid shit and taken a bunch of risks that, I dunno, could have gotten you eaten by a bear or impregnated by a stripper or dead leaping out of a plane.
I think those people are full of shit.
*Side note: I have never been eaten by a bear or impregnated by a stripper or killed leaping out of a plane. Those are examples, people.
Most of the things I regret in my life are things I did that were unwise or in some way cost or injured me. And okay, I’m not on my deathbed.
I have been, though, more than once, in ER rooms where people told me I was dying. Which makes you think.
The few times hospital personnel were telling me I was dying, my only concern was, God damn it, someone call someone to take care of the dogs.
At one point in an ER room the only way to impact upon people how important that was to me was to rip out an IV drip.
[Ripping out an IV hurts do not try that at home. But people sit up when you do it.]
When you do that, tear out an IV? People either put you in a psych ward or call the number you have been telling them to call for the last five hours so you will let them put the IV back — however they can since you just screwed a good IV line they were counting on for the helicopter ride.
*Sidenote: I was lucky, they called the number instead of throwing me in a psych ward. Yay me. Of course they also didn’t want a wrongful death suit for not getting me on the helicopter, you take the power where you can get it. Still yay me dammit.
One time in a philosophy class my assignment was to write a note to “someone” based on the idea I was dying and these were my last words to anyone in the world.
Everyone else in that class started writing and didn’t stop till the bell rang — an hour and a half later.
My note was two sentences. “I love you. Take care of the dogs.”
The man I loved then is gone.
The dogs I loved then are gone.
Probably now I’d just write, “So long and thanks for all the fish.”
There are things you do not do in this life because of a sense of overbearing caution or fear. Sometimes that overbearing caution or fear is justified. Like, you know, don’t shake hands with the Grizzly. He is not a cartoon. He will rip your arm off, watch you bleed out, and then floss his teeth with your tendons while he eats your liver.
But that is a bit extreme.
Sometimes you do not do something because you are living in a brain box of your own making that is cauterizing your life and cutting you off from any opportunity.
And sometimes it is maybe hard to tell the difference.
I think maybe that is who that statement, “You’ll regret what you did not do more than what you did do,” is meant for.
Other times, you don’t do things — because of a code of honor.
Codes of honor can be real simple, like, Don’t wear pearlescent lipstick to Academy Awards Ceremonies. [That shit just doesn't photograph well.]
Or, don’t screw your best friend’s boyfriend.
You pick your code of honor and stick with it. And some codes of honor are more universal than others.
*Sidenote: I have worn pearlescent lipstick to an Academy function, don’t do that, that shit does not photograph well;
I have never screwed a best friend’s boyfriend, but someone did it to me and we never came back from that.
I am maybe aberrant. Maybe I just do things other people do not, like leap just to see, when saner people do not? And then limp back with bruises and reports saying, Wow, THAT HURT.
It does hurt, when you dive just to see if there are rocks under that water.
December 1, 2013
So the Banksy goal became, for completely arbitrary reasons, get every state in the Stripes before Christmas.
We are almost there too, much to my surprise. There are only 3 states to go. North Dakota. Wisconsin. And Delaware.
Check it out:
And we have 25 days to go. It could happen.
There’s a :::bigger map::: too that includes the global map and we have hit all over there too, France, England, Greece, Poland, Germany, Scotland, Belgium, hell I think we have more countries than Hitler — but that does not sound very politic to say and also, well go look at the map.
Meanwhile, there is some weirdness with Banksy. Like people who say they are going to get a “state” then show up with, Oh you got that state already.
It’s not about one person getting one state. It’s about a lot of people getting a lot of cities, and a lot of countries. In multiple spots.
Have you learned nothing from Guerrilla Meeting Tactics?
Apparently not. Oh well.
But hey, we Banksied the hell out of the Stripes — and the world, yay!
And we are not done yet.
We have 25 days to go.
TNSSG | GOING BANKSY http://ow.ly/rkuwn
November 19, 2013
A Petsitter Request in 5 Easy Steps
1. Pretend you want to take someone out for a midnight snack when really you are flanking them to pet sit. For a week and a half. Over Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Camping at your place. Alone. With two dogs who have to go out five times a day.
2. Forget to inform the accompanying child she is supposed to be pleasant to support this flank maneuver instead of responding to any polite rejoinder with a death stare before silently going back to texting.
3. Open with “Will you be in town for Christmas?” — which sounds like someone is about to ask you over for a nice Christmas dinner before they say, Great!, you can pet sit! For a week and a half! 24 hours a day! Over Christmas and New Year’s Eve!
4. Scream “You owe me money!” if someone says camping at your place for a week and a half alone over the holidays might be a problem.
5. Yell, “You just want to party!” when YOU want to party for a week and a half in France. What the fuck is up with your friend wanting any free nights over the holidays? Wow is she a Bitch!
*Cinderella was not a handbook on how to treat friends.
November 10, 2013
October 30, 2013
With :::Banksy::: commitments coming in —
If everyone saying they are going to take a remaining state comes in?
We have FIVE states left:
It would be criminal to not pull this off with only five states left.
*Hundreds of people have participated in this. Across the globe. I am agog. And humbled. Thank you.
October 25, 2013
We are having fun. Also I find it crazy fun that people actually come looking for me on the smoking patio behind Driskill Bar. Okay sure that is predictable but also, how cool is that?
Also here are some photos to cheer you up before you go all “don’t smoke” on my ass. Yay!
October 23, 2013
My friend Kitty vetoed this as a profile photo on FB. Kitty is super strict. But I am wily and flanking her. So up it goes here on the blog. Let’s see if she catches it. Ho ho ho.
*Kitty saw this because I am not good at keeping secrets when I think something is funny and I totally taunted her with it.
*I can’t tell you her response because it is secret and fucking funny but not for public consumption.
October 11, 2013
The TNSSG Street Team and —
Terry Rossio are having a total barbeque frenzy Wednesday, October 23rd, in Austin Texas [yes the kick off day of the Austin Film Festival] at a totally famous Austin barbeque place.
I could tell you how to get to this fabulous extravaganza, but —
I don’t want to coddle you.
I am bored with trying to bribe people.
Choose the correct door below and you will get the details. And could totally show for this faboo barbeque extravaganza.
Don’t choose the right door?
Good luck, Sports Fans.
Love and Kisses,
Your No More Coddling Adams Girl
:::door number one:::
:::door number two:::
:::door number three:::
:::door number four:::
September 23, 2013
I’m spending my time unwisely. I’m doing all these things which in the grand scheme of things appear to be mostly time sinks and just grunt work not accomplishing anything.
I put out a newsletter every month. It says what new classes are coming. It talks about what the workshoppers and the students have accomplished. What’s up with the book. It has 118 recipients. [I know, Super Bowl! Not really.] The September newsletter got 48 opens. And, 7 clicks through. That means, with a grand total of 118 people actually getting the newsletter, less than half of them opened it, and out of them, only 7 people actually hit a link.
There’s an irony here too. You’d think the workshoppers and the students who are accomplishing things and getting talked up in the newsletter would forward it on. They don’t, mostly, though. I can barely talk them into giving me info to put into the newsletter on time. They won’t talk about themselves or promote themselves with that newsletter by even sharing it. Hell they won’t even talk about or promote themselves with a website, half the time. So. Me talking about them falls into a black hole.
Then there is Beyond Top Secret. It’s kind of cool and fun. It’s a spot where people who are fans of the book or me or just buds can hang out and talk about things the book. It’s a fun idea and a lot of people signed up going in. They were being supportive. Being friends. But only about five people actively show up, read any posts, or contribute in the active forum. I kicked a bunch of people out too, I said, If you’re not active, I have to pull you out of here. But then there’s the friend thing. Someone showed, they were showing support, that’s great, you feel bad if you say, I love you, you love me, but you’re a slacker ninja in terms of being here I’m throwing you out. So then I don’t throw them out. And then we’ve got this huge group of people doing — nothing. And sapping the motivation and energy from anyone who is doing anything because people who are active are just looking around saying, Wait, I’m the only person talking in this echoing amphitheatre of silence and inactivity?
[Yes, exactly, that is how I feel too.]
What I do know is showing up every single week to post things to a forum of silence is sapping me. And showing up every month to post a newsletter full of news and classes and student and workshopper accomplishments that less than half the recipients bother to open and only 7 people actually click links in? Is killing me. It’s killing my momentum. It’s killing my enthusiasm. It’s hurting my heart.
It’s sucking my time.
The funny thing is I threw all the inactive newsletter recipients off too one time, I looked at the numbers and recipients and I threw everyone off who hadn’t opened a newsletter in three months and I sent them a nice note that said, Hey we see we’re not connecting here so we are cutting you loose. AND THEY ALL SIGNED BACK UP. AND STILL DON’T OPEN THE FUCKING NEWSLETTER. AHHHH!
I’m not sure what the answer is here. Shut these bad boys down?
I think so. I think the whole world tells you you are supposed to do all these marketing things that don’t really work and are mostly time sinks and I don’t want to play that fiddle any more.
I could be wrong. It has happened before. But I don’t want to write and send out any more newsletters to people who just want to get them, they don’t want to open them. And I don’t want to spend one day every week making up some cool new action of the week nobody will ever read because nobody is there.
There are many ways to be supportive.
Echoing silence isn’t one of them.