I’m speaking online tonight in USA #Scriptchat on the do’s and dont’s to get your screenplay read, sold, and produced. Stop by and say hi.

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:::SCRIPTCHAT TRANSCRIPT:::
 


*Congratulations to @Alexander_A_J who was the #Scriptchat winner of the random drawing for a free copy of The New Screenwriter’s Survival Guide yay! #tnssg

 
 

 

christmas miracles

December 26, 2013

banksy_north_dakota

Know what that is? Ohyez, that is Minot North Dakota going Banksy.

I did not think we were going to get North Dakota but that baby came in at the last minute, just was we were wrapping up the Stripes count for Christmas. And you know what that means, right?

[No? You so need to get out more.*]

We got every state by Christmas. Yay yay yay!

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*Don’t know what Going Banksy is? Wow where have you been hiding?

:::GO SEE:::

 

 

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At the risk of being grossly commercial here [hey it is Christmas, never say I do not understand the Christmas spirit o' commerce] if you are still running about and have not found that perfect gift for the screenwriter on your list [well diamonds would work too but let's say you are thrifty and want to keep it under thirty bucks] The New Screenwriter’s Survival Guide is available at these retail stores:

 

:::BOOK PEOPLE::: [Austin, TX]
:::BOOK SOUP::: [Hollywood, CA]
:::CINEMA BOOKS::: [Seattle, WA]
:::SAMUEL FRENCH::: [Hollywood, CA]
:::TRIDENT BOOKSELLERS & CAFE::: [Boston, MA]

 

That only works if you are in Austin, Hollywood, Seattle, or Boston, but hey, we are doing our best here and you ARE the one who waited until Christmas Eve to shop, jeez.

 


*The book is also available on :::AMAZON.COM:::.  In case you get any pesky gift certificates and do not know what to do with them.

 

sunday evening plans

December 24, 2013

 

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PS: We are giving away a free copy of :::the book::: in a random drawing at the end of the night.

 

TNSSG_COLLAGE_12_3_13

 

ohyez, 3 states to go

December 1, 2013

 

So the Banksy goal became, for completely arbitrary reasons, get every state in the Stripes before Christmas.

We are almost there too, much to my surprise. There are only 3 states to go. North Dakota. Wisconsin. And Delaware.

Check it out:

 

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And we have 25 days to go. It could happen.

 


[Holy Shit!]

 


There’s a :::bigger map::: too that includes the global map and we have hit all over there too, France, England, Greece, Poland, Germany, Scotland, Belgium, hell I think we have more countries than Hitler — but that does not sound very politic to say and also, well go look at the map.

 


Meanwhile, there is some weirdness with Banksy. Like people who say they are going to get a “state” then show up with, Oh you got that state already.

WTF, Banksies?

It’s not about one person getting one state. It’s about a lot of people getting a lot of cities, and a lot of countries. In multiple spots.

Have you learned nothing from Guerrilla Meeting Tactics?

 


Apparently not. Oh well.

But hey, we Banksied the hell out of the Stripes — and the world, yay!

And we are not done yet.

We have 25 days to go.

 


TNSSG | GOING BANKSY http://ow.ly/rkuwn

 

banksy countdown

November 16, 2013

 

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TNSSG | GOING BANKSY http://ow.ly/qTybW

STATES STILL TO GO: As of November 16th, 2013, we have 4 states to go before Christmas. I am not sure we will make it, but my partners in crime are optimistic. [Crazy partners in crime!) If you can nail one of these states you are a hero:

Delaware (?)
Idaho (*)
North Dakota
Wisconsin (*)

*There are asterisks or questions marks next to states people say they are picking up.

*We still have one total dead zone: North Dakota. Oh North Dakota how you mock me.

*Delaware is shady as fuck too.

 

#tnssg

 

mr. butts

November 9, 2013

 

mrbutts_cbIs it —

Amazing I still have this photo? That is Mr. Butts in his rocket pack. Originally he had a globe helmet he wore for the movie but the helmet photos were too smoky for the magazine so we gave him a space hat and put his space pack on him to shoot these for the Dog Fancy article.

I am holding anchovi pizza off camera to get this pose [every dog has his weakness] while Fabiana Cesa who I went to film school with and who is great with a camera shoots the pictures.

 


Mr. Butts was a major player in Plan 10 From Outer Space directed by Trent Harris starring Karen Black which I crewed on in college.

 


There is an entire Dog Fancy article and also a Cinefantastique article on Mr. Butts [yeah yeah yeah, you didn't think I was paying tuition in college?] if I get time I will put them up and link them in. For now, you just get the really sweet dog. Also, the “Holy Mother of Christ, no tongue, Mr. Butts!” story is not currently online. But could be. If you ask nice.

 

 

Screenwriters Billy Wilder and I.A. Diamond

Screenwriters Billy Wilder and I.A. Diamond

I ran into —

Joanne Lammers at Austin Film Festival. Joanne is a friend and really cool and is the Director of the Archive at Writer’s Guild of America.

I have known Joanne more years than I will say in public but to put it in perspective, one of those babies was a bump in a hot dress at a big awards ceremony when we first met.

Joanne was out at AFF with a really cool WGA exhibit featuring archives like Billy Wilder’s original scripts and the typewriter the original Psycho was written on. [That type writer weighs like a hundred pounds too so kiss your laptap and say "Thank you dear God, that I live in a time in which moving the writing machine does not include a hernia and blow up donut" --- also they didn't have blow up hernia donuts back then either, those poor bastards.]

 


One of the things Joanne said to me was how surprised she was a lot of exhibit guests [and people lined up around the block so I give credit for that, that is pretty cool, but still, there's a question here] and these exhibit guests are, you know, “writers”? How many of them looked at script pages in the presentation and and looked mystified and said, Wow I didn’t know they wrote what the characters were actually doing in the scenes.

This of course confused Joanne because she was wondering, Well what are these people writing or even doing at a writer’s conference if they don’t know that? And, haven’t they ever read a script before? Because all scripts — okay, all good scripts — do that.

 


People trying to write scripts who have never read scripts was not as much confusing or mystifying to me because even though it is totally confusing and mystifying that anyone would actually attempt to write a script without actually reading one? Ever?

[Isn't that like trying to write a symphony without learning how to read sheet music? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?]

 


I have been around on the internet long enough to know it happens. Over and over again. [I blame Final Draft! Anyone can write a movie! Just buy this software! Ahhh!] I also have seen the appalling statements online that go something like, “Oh I don’t write anything that characters do physically or that actually happens in scenes physically or describe any settings or action at all, the director will do that and I would be stepping on his toes if I put that in.

Really? Writing the movie would be “stepping on the director’s toes”? Because, you know, no movie? In the real world, no movie on the page usually spells, no director signs up to direct. But I digress. Bottom line —

You should wonder, if you aren’t writing action or setting descriptions or what characters are doing or, you know, a movie? What is the director actually supposed to sign on to direct?

 


I’ve never met a director who wanted to write the script for the writer since the writer didn’t actually write it. I meet a lot of directors who want to change the fuck out of an existing script. Just not so many who want to write the script that doesn’t exist.

 


Let’s ask a real question. In a poll. Yay!

How many film scripts have you read?

 

 

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:::where to buy the book:::

 

 

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