I promised you guys the bear ears.

 

max_bear_full_cb

 

I know —

No lights, problem focus, shooting on an iPhone, and we did not exactly have Conrad Hall on call there but —

Bear Ears!

Yay!

 


*Lost? Confused? Not idea about the bear ears? :::catch up:::

*Also, go listen to :::sister cristina::: you infidel

 

et tu, pinterest?

March 16, 2014

 

This freaky image shows up in my Pinterest stream.

No I am not going to show you THAT fashion blunder it would defile the blog.

[Also it might make you blind.]

Here is a cute photo of a pony in boots instead.

pony mit shoes

 


 

Bad cheap pointy shoes with a bad cheap skirt made out of bad cheap fabric and the photo is taken at a bad cheap angle in bad cheap lighting.

Why the fuck is this image in my Pinterest stream?

And how do I kill it?

 


 

I hit the link.

Not following this board.

I hit the person.

Not following this person.

I’m confused. If I’m not following the board and not following the person WTF is this cheap ass gaudy image that might make me blind doing in my fucking Pinterest stream?

 


 

Pinterest has a new agenda. Pinterest is showing me this because Pinterest thinks I might be interested because of OTHER INTERESTS.

Jesus Christ, Pinterest, what are you now, Amazon? Facebook? Netflix? “Because you liked this other image, let’s show you one that will make you fucking blind you hate it so much”?

 


 

Here is a cute pony in boots again to make this less painful:

pony mit shoes

Dear Pinterest:

You’re Fired.

 

bear ears cap!

February 8, 2014

 

Yes, I know, it is totally impractical, but look at it!

bear_ears_cap_1

bear_ears_cap_2

 

It is my birthday month.

I can have a bear ears cap if I want.

Also it was on sale through my birthday. That is totally a sign.

Yay!

 


ps: no that is not me, that is the hat model, but if you are really lucky i might post photos after mine arrives in the post.

 


where you too can get that sassy bear ears cap:
that is from toppedhats on etsy

 

childhood vs. adulthood

February 7, 2014

blonde_telephone_madonna

 

I have finally determined the line between female childhood and female adulthood.

When I was twelve, all I wanted to do was fill out a bra.

Now? All I want to do is avoid wearing a bra.

Wait.

Unless I am on camera, the bra is pretty, and I’m going crazy dancing.

[Oh fuck me I'm still twelve.]

 

hot sexy short hair

February 2, 2014

 

So this discussion is heating up over on FB about the Rapunzel hair and female law enforcement characters on TV thing and some people are saying, Oh well long hair is more attractive to men and whatnot.

I don’t think that is  true but I could be deranged.

[It has been suggested from time to time I am deranged.  Shut up.]

I think most men don’t care half as much about women’s hair as women care about women’s hair though.

I also think plenty of women are hot and sexy with short hair  — and that’s not even taking into account you can go into combat WITH LONG HAIR, if, you know, you just do something to stash it out of the way so it’s not a combat hazard to you and others when you pull a gun out.

Let’s take a look at hot women with short hair just to be sure:

 

hair_annette_beninghair_audrey_tatou

hair_charlizehair_halle

hair_keirahair_michelle_pfeiffer_2

 

I’m female and don’t even do girls and I know they are totally hot you fools.

Maybe the whole Rapunzel cop chicks thing is Charlie’s Angel Syndrome.

 

good god no

January 23, 2014

 

hideous_ralph_lauren_olympics

What happens when you cross Peruvian Immigrant Chic with Betsy Ross, a bedazzler gun, and ill fitting white 80′s stirrup pants?

That is right, sports fans, Ralph Lauren’s 2014 US opening ceremony uniforms for the Winter Olympics.

Someone please call Tim Gunn.

 


 

I have heard some cries of, but have you seen Norway! Um, yes I have, and I will not even post a photo here one shockingly bad fashion shot is enough thank you but you can :::go see too if you must:::. Let me point out though, arm wrestling Norwegian curlers for worst dressed at the Olympic opening ceremonies is perhaps not the high bar to be reaching for here.

[ahem]

Instead —

Let’s take a look at some of the better dressed future attendees of the Olympic ceremonies.

Netherlands, designed by Suit Supply

Netherlands, designed by Suit Supply

Go Netherlands! Wow, real clothes and a sense of elegance, look at the tie! Look a the plaid! Look at the vest! Nice.

Wait, too upscale for you? Want something more wintery?

Estonia, designed by Monton

Estonia, designed by Monton

Estonia is nice. Simple. Classic. Winterey. Also, cute dogs! Yay!

And then there are our northern neighbors —

Canada, designed by Hudson's Bay

Canada, designed by Hudson’s Bay

I have heard word on the street is people were making fun of Canada saying the Canadian uniforms were “too plain.” Hello, people, after getting a glimpse of the USA and Norwegian outfits? Canada’s “plain” outfits may be the only thing standing between you and pattern induced seizure if you tune in to the ceremonies.

 


:::see more international olympics outfits:::

:::see history of usa olympic uniforms – photo retrospect:::

:::read hilarious blogher olympic uniform wtf panel commentary:::

 

 

 

santa wants a nice suit

 

For ONE HUNDRED YEARS —

This guy has been pulling on his tatty little red outfit and showing up to spread joy and commerce and what did you leave him last year?

Cookies right? Maybe some milk?

Poor bastard.

This year leave cash.

And maybe a nice Men’s Warehouse gift certificate.

And whiskey. God dammit, he deserves whiskey!

 

where i clipped that photo :
i clipped that off rain

when workshop shirts attack

November 18, 2013

 

Probably this is only hilarious to me. It is actually kind of a catastrophe but still hilarious to me.

[This may be because "catastrophes" historically for me involve brushes with death but I consider the "brushes with death" catastrophes mostly comedic too so my "catastrophe" meter is skewed.]

[Wait, back up, catastrophe therapy kickstarter project yay!]

Here is the new workshop shirt close up:

 

struc_shirt_yaz_mispell

 

I wore that shirt at AFF. Other workshoppers wore that shirt at AFF.

Tell me if you see the problem.

Nobody did until today.


I am so cracked up.


*I’m sending out new shirts to everyone who bought the wrong shirt. Also I’m framing the wrong shirt.

 

tnssg_bumper_stickerThere are only a few days left to pick up your free TNSSG bumper sticker with TNSSG swag purchases. How do you get that fabulous free bumper sticker, you might ask? Well you have to be a member of the TNSSG street team in Beyond Top Secret to find out.

Crafty, eh?

We thought so.  Hit that:

:::Beyond Top Secret:::

 

my nefarious hairdresser

August 21, 2013

 

hair_salon_2I go stumbling —

Into my salon today. I do this after pulling an all nighter and the only reason I am ambulatory is, it seemed like a good idea to drop off things going out shipping before falling into bed. Then it seemed like a good idea to make a hair appointment. Only the online hair appointment thingamajig went off on me. So I walk on over.

They know me there. So it’s no surprise to them I am stumbling in at a disgustingly early hour, barely dressed, saying, Say can we put this on the books?

What I am not expecting is, Oh yez, today, think you can make it back in five hours?

[Also they know where I live, they'll come roust me if I don't show. Ahhh!]

I say yes.

I will have very pretty roots later in the day.

 

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