December 1, 2013
For ONE HUNDRED YEARS —
This guy has been pulling on his tatty little red outfit and showing up to spread joy and commerce and what did you leave him last year?
Cookies right? Maybe some milk?
This year leave cash.
And maybe a nice Men’s Warehouse gift certificate.
And whiskey. God dammit, he deserves whiskey!
November 18, 2013
Probably this is only hilarious to me. It is actually kind of a catastrophe but still hilarious to me.
[This may be because "catastrophes" historically for me involve brushes with death but I consider the "brushes with death" catastrophes mostly comedic too so my "catastrophe" meter is skewed.]
[Wait, back up, catastrophe therapy kickstarter project yay!]
Here is the new workshop shirt close up:
I wore that shirt at AFF. Other workshoppers wore that shirt at AFF.
Tell me if you see the problem.
Nobody did until today.
I am so cracked up.
*I’m sending out new shirts to everyone who bought the wrong shirt. Also I’m framing the wrong shirt.
August 22, 2013
There are only a few days left to pick up your free TNSSG bumper sticker with TNSSG swag purchases. How do you get that fabulous free bumper sticker, you might ask? Well you have to be a member of the TNSSG street team in Beyond Top Secret to find out.
We thought so. Hit that:
August 21, 2013
Into my salon today. I do this after pulling an all nighter and the only reason I am ambulatory is, it seemed like a good idea to drop off things going out shipping before falling into bed. Then it seemed like a good idea to make a hair appointment. Only the online hair appointment thingamajig went off on me. So I walk on over.
They know me there. So it’s no surprise to them I am stumbling in at a disgustingly early hour, barely dressed, saying, Say can we put this on the books?
What I am not expecting is, Oh yez, today, think you can make it back in five hours?
[Also they know where I live, they'll come roust me if I don't show. Ahhh!]
I say yes.
I will have very pretty roots later in the day.
July 31, 2013
Guess what I got today? Oh yez, first ever TNSSG Beyond Top Secret T-shirt.
May 28, 2013
March 28, 2013
It is horrifying looking at my poor bare knees and thighs in the studio mirror — and also a lot easier for instructors to bust you if your thighs are not straining hard enough — but really a relief to not start wanting to rip my pants off halfway through a yoga session.
I am doing Bikram yoga. It is 105 degrees in the Bikram studio. And you are in there sweating your ass off – literally, like leaving wet physical body imprints on your mat every time you lay down and when you are not laying down, raining sweat on your mat that would make any rain forest proud — for an hour and a half.
I am a lot more comfortable, mentally, wearing at least below the knees yoga pants. None of that pesky “Oh fuck me, look at those knees and thighs in the mirror, no no no!” mental stuff going on.
I finally had to either start ripping longer yoga pants off at the thighs Hulk style or get yoga shorts.
Physically, I couldn’t take wet sweat soaked clinging too hot and sweaty yoga long pants syndrome any more.
Bikram totally is more comfortable in yoga shorts. Less “Jesus Christ I have to get these freaking pants off now I do not care who is watching” impulses or moments.
Sometimes my head snaps to the fact I am leaning over in very short not leaving much to the imagination skin tight shorts with a whole lot of people standing behind me and my ass is for sure at least partially exposed by riding somewhere nefarious yoga shorts not approved by the DAR yoga shorts committee.
Sweating with your knees locked, your head on the floor, and your hands locked around your heels is not the best time to adjust your shorts.
I apologize in my head to my pilgrim grandmothers and keep going.
August 6, 2012
I am crazy tired. It is 5 AM which is a pretty good reason for being crazy tired. But I have been so neglecting the blog, I feel like I should put something up here just to show I still know you are out there, even if sometimes it looks like I do not.
What should I tell you? That I have somehow reached a limit of patience for the teenage coming of age story set in the 1980′s?
Something else might be more fun. So let’s do something else. More fun. Let’s go on a Marilyn frenzy with Bert Stern. Yay!
*Bert Stern is the photographer and author of The Last Sitting, if you are a big Marilyn fan you should check it out.
August 3, 2012
Polls aside, Star Wars Fighter Babe AKA Queen Amidala just totally won the Halloween costume battle.
Why, you ask?
The boots. Ahhhh!
I cannot give up that boot. I am in love with that boot.
Amidala totally wins.