December 5, 2013
November 19, 2013
A Petsitter Request in 5 Easy Steps
1. Pretend you want to take someone out for a midnight snack when really you are flanking them to pet sit. For a week and a half. Over Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Camping at your place. Alone. With two dogs who have to go out five times a day.
2. Forget to inform the accompanying child she is supposed to be pleasant to support this flank maneuver instead of responding to any polite rejoinder with a death stare before silently going back to texting.
3. Open with “Will you be in town for Christmas?” — which sounds like someone is about to ask you over for a nice Christmas dinner before they say, Great!, you can pet sit! For a week and a half! 24 hours a day! Over Christmas and New Year’s Eve!
4. Scream “You owe me money!” if someone says camping at your place for a week and a half alone over the holidays might be a problem.
5. Yell, “You just want to party!” when YOU want to party for a week and a half in France. What the fuck is up with your friend wanting any free nights over the holidays? Wow is she a Bitch!
*Cinderella was not a handbook on how to treat friends.
November 15, 2013
It’s kind of stupid. I’m not sure why anyone would follow up, say, I dunno, on a 2001 September attack in 20013 in November on a completely different day. Really? 12 years later? In a different month on a different day. Not that that is just bad marketing follow through. But, ultimately, completely stupid. Nobody waits 12 years to follow up. You are probably safe, Los Angeles. Unless your government wants to fuck with you. I’m pretty sure no terrorists are this marketing impaired. But the government? Pretty sure it is.
The internet warning says warnings are going out from Anonymous. People are talking. On one hand saying Anonymous is full of crap. On another hand saying, This is some government conspiracy to put info out there under the Anonymous handle to discredit Anonymous. And then there is the third hand, (nice to have three hands, right?), If Anonymous did just uncover and make public a 9-11 type attack, the fastest way to discredit Anonymous would be to just not do the attack.
Sucks to be you, Los Angeles, in the cross fire, in this discussion. Since, if you live in Los Angeles, this is not exactly an intellectual discussion, it is a question of whether or not you are going to get blown up tomorrow going into work.
I wonder sometimes how all of this turned into an “intellectual discussion.”
It’s not an intellectual discussion for me. I was born in Los Angeles. So were my parents. So were some of my grandparents. You’re not talking about, Oh I just happened to be there, when you talk about blowing up Los Angeles to me. You’re talking about blowing up my grandparents’ headstones.
What people are not saying —
Los Angeles has already been hit. It is an insidious hit, but it’s a hit. Japan blew up and is spewing radioactivity into the Pacific and the airstream that is hitting the West Coast of the U.S., every day, and there’s a dog pile of radioactive flotsam from the Japan tsunami wake washing up all along the West Coast.
No one’s even talking about that effect on Hawaii, which was in the direct path of the first wash, but people at some point will have to start talking when thousands of pounds of radioactive flotsam hits shores from Baja to Seattle.
Also you have to consider the Hudson Current, which runs north to south from Alaska to Mexico unless there is an El Nino in effect, and then runs backwards, from Mexico to Alaska. Which means even places that shouldn’t be in the path, like Alaska? Are going to get hit.
Once upon a time after 9-11 some students and I in a chat room were talking about, if 9-11 were on purpose and a little more organized and insidious?, what would the next hit be.
We mapped it out.
So far that map is pretty accurate. But we missed some stuff. We thought Seattle would go before Los Angeles. Seattle has a for shit sea wall, bad bridges, a lot of political misbehaving in terms of funds, and is the easiest physical infrastructure to take down after New Orleans. But —
We just were not imaginative enough.
We never imagined someone would take out the entire Pacific Rim by blowing up Japan.
November 13, 2013
I just realized in a random conversation something I never snapped to before.
Texas is the only state in the U.S. I have returned to, to live in, besides California.
I have lived in a lot of states. I lost count of interstate moves around interstate move number seven — and I keep going home to California. Move out. Move back. Move out. Move back.
The ONLY other state I have ever returned to is Texas.
I should fear Texas like I fear the astrological sign Taurus. Huge life altering events have happened to me in Texas. Not all good.
Texas is a pattern I never saw before.
A blind spot.
I don’t have a lot of blind spots.
When they show up they are usually huge.
===>>>where the artwork comes from:
that is from the texas experiment: ethnography
October 27, 2013
October 25, 2013
We are having fun. Also I find it crazy fun that people actually come looking for me on the smoking patio behind Driskill Bar. Okay sure that is predictable but also, how cool is that?
Also here are some photos to cheer you up before you go all “don’t smoke” on my ass. Yay!
October 23, 2013
My friend Kitty vetoed this as a profile photo on FB. Kitty is super strict. But I am wily and flanking her. So up it goes here on the blog. Let’s see if she catches it. Ho ho ho.
*Kitty saw this because I am not good at keeping secrets when I think something is funny and I totally taunted her with it.
*I can’t tell you her response because it is secret and fucking funny but not for public consumption.
October 11, 2013
The TNSSG Street Team and —
Terry Rossio are having a total barbeque frenzy Wednesday, October 23rd, in Austin Texas [yes the kick off day of the Austin Film Festival] at a totally famous Austin barbeque place.
I could tell you how to get to this fabulous extravaganza, but —
I don’t want to coddle you.
I am bored with trying to bribe people.
Choose the correct door below and you will get the details. And could totally show for this faboo barbeque extravaganza.
Don’t choose the right door?
Good luck, Sports Fans.
Love and Kisses,
Your No More Coddling Adams Girl
:::door number one:::
:::door number two:::
:::door number three:::
:::door number four:::
September 22, 2013
On my balcony last night having a smoke. It is pretty late, the bars are closing up and things are quieting down.
This girl comes down the path. She is dressed real pretty, in a skirt with sequins on it that flutter under the pale street light. She has long dark hair and bare arms and looks cold and is moving very slow.
I think, uh oh. This path is not really the place to be this late on Saturday night alone incapacitated if you are a girl. As she gets closer I realize it’s not that she’s really drunk. She’s clutching very high heels and walking barefoot, I do not know for how long, but her feet clearly really hurt. And she’s really lost. And she’s also clutching a cell phone whispering into it. And then she sees me.
She hands the phone up to me on the balcony and I talk to her friend and find out where she is supposed to be and take her through the building paths to where she needs to go.
When we can see her friends up ahead she says, Max, you are an angel of mercy.
I laugh and say, No, this is the kindness of strangers. Everyone gets it and the only rule is you pass it on.
And she says, No, you don’t know it, but you are an angel.
Then her friends gather her up into safety and take her away and I go back to my balcony and finish my smoke.
I probably did look like an angel to her. I was in all oversized white and I have almost white blonde hair and the balcony is several feet off the ground so there I was, pale with pale hair all in white hovering off the ground when she was lost in the dark.
June 5, 2013
Who walks her two dogs down the path outside. She is little, about 5’3″. With long straight dark hair, a very white smile, and an hour glass figure a little over what Victoria Secret hires for.
The dogs are small dogs, black, about 20 pounds each. One is Poodle, one is Terrier.
The dogs were not sure about me and gave me the eagle eye when we first met. One barked. The Poodle, not the Terrier. But they decided they like me. Now they do the dog grin at me.
The girl is really sweet, and not American at all. Americans have these communication rules about insincere greetings. When someone says how goes it or what’s new, people say “fine” or “things are good.” They don’t really answer. They give the polite programmed response. It is a thing.
My small dogs friend doesn’t talk that way. When she stops and I ask some small polite question, she really answers. And tells me stories. About her day, her weekend, what just happened that is news.
I wonder whether this is cultural or she is lonely. I am not sure. But we talk.
It always makes my day more interesting.
Then I wonder whether that is cultural or I am lonely.
I will be moving soon.
I will miss the girl with two dogs.