back behind the line

 

Jesus God.

[Someone hold the Evangelicals down when I say that ow.]

Okay, so far I have heard about one Wal-Mart employee who is dead trampled to death by holiday shoppers and two people dead after a shooting at a Toys-R-Us store.

WTF?

Wal-Mart?

Toys-R-Us?

For Chrissake’s people that is not worth dying for that is not even Gaultier.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from alvaro herreras

we need a new label system

 

This labeling —

Partners/lovers sitch has been in trouble a long time. A friend’s “boyfriend” died. That was the label for him since they did not live together and were not married, he was “boyfriend.”

They were a couple though for seven years. Hello? “Boyfriend”? For someone you have shared a bed and your life with, if not your electricity bill with, for the last seven years?

That just does not work.

 

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Someone tried to fix this a while back coming up with “significant other.” But that is just an embarrassing term. I flinch any time I hear or use it.

 

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Maybe we could do it the way universities do it. Use titles. Various titles establishing degrees of relationship. Like, there is mother or father of my children. I know a lot of people who are not married but have children. Surely they cannot be boyfriend/girlfriend. Creating another human must be more significant than that. Then a degree of attachment. Like, this is the only person I am dating versus this is one of several people I am dating. Then, length of time. You know, seven years? That is significant. I am thinking we should do it like the Germans do it too.

The Germans are very formal and good with degrees. Like you cannot just say doctor, you have to say professor doctor doctor and list every single degree there to be polite in German. I think that would really work in this sitch. Father of my child/lover of seven years/the only person I spend time with romantically is just much more accurate than “boyfriend.”

 

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I am going to work this out in a graph and come up with flippy names. It will take a while. I am not so good with graphs. [Though pretty good with flippy names.] This must be fixed.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from thunderohl

sassed by a quiz

 

You are —

THE TRAMP!

[Jeez.]

Much like the role of Varla in Faster Pussy Cat Kill! Kill! Kill! played by Tura Satana, the tramp is a woman that no man can resist. At least once, until he learns his lesson. A wild woman who loves fast cars and isn’t afraid to stab somebody…the tramp explains nothing…to no one.

She is confident in leather or just nothing at all. The tramp is also physically and mentally stronger than you and will let you know if you get out of line.

The tramp doesn’t need to know your name, only if you have the guts to hang with her. Bikers tend to be the only men who cut the mustard. She loves all weapons and fast cars. A predatory female, the tramp is a sexually supercharged woman who ruthlessly takes out her anxieties on any man who crosses her path, or is lured into her “web.”

The tramp carries in her purse: fortune cookies, a switchblade her grandmother gave her, a wrench in case the car needs work or her man needs a clunk on the head, chicklets and pasties. She doesn’t like any man enough to even think of marrying one.

The Green Orchid is the Vixen flower…
and the Rocker is the one man who get her engines running!

:::take the kitty kat quiz:::

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from b88pie

where i nabbed that quiz :
i nabbed that quiz at vixnens wait i mean grace’s

life lesson 34,426

 

Life Lesson Ignored Today :

Life Lesson 34,426 : Never go to a grocery store the day before Thanksgiving.

 

cool stuff

 

Last night —

I went to a screening of Ten Inch Hero. It was very fun and the first time I got to see it on the big screen and it has Jensen Ackles in it who is cute as hell which is reason enough to go see it but also [and this is the really cool part for me] it is Betsy Morris’s movie and she was working on it in one of my workshops so I got to see the original script taking shape and now get to see it on the big screen yay!

Also I do not know if I mentioned this in addition to Chris’s first table read this month Lee from the 5150 workshop won a Nicholl Fellowship this year which is also terribly cool and I went to the awards ceremony and got to watch him accept his award. Lee lives in England so this was the first time I got to meet him in person instead of just typing at him on a computer too which is also very cool.

[The majority of my workshops are online so there are people I work with and never actually meet though I try to meet up when I can --- England was just too far though oops.]

Lee is not my first Nicholl winner Colleen won in 2005. And Patricia who I have been in workshops with for years won in 2001. And I got to watch those scripts take form too. Then there is Toni, author of the Bobbie Faye books, who originally worked on the Bobbie Faye stories as a script in a workshop of mine. There is George, my Seattle student who wrote 50 First Dates. And Mary, another former workshopper of mine who won the Warner Bros. competition and has written several Stargate Atlantis episodes. Lacy who has sold treatments and is doing work for hire and one of these days is definitely going to be produced. And and and —

I know there are people I am leaving out but I am writing this on the fly and late so do not get your feelings hurt if I left your name off the list just know —

It is very very cool seeing all these people I have worked with hitting these milestones and seeing them accept the awards and watching their movies and TV episodes on the screen.

[happy sigh]

You guys rock.

 

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*also a friend is punching me in the arm to make me type this so yes i do consults info about those is :::here::: and am teaching two winter classes through gotham in january and also run 5150 which has very limited seating space so is pretty hard to get into but you can always ask if you knock my socks off i might have to say yes

 

where the art work comes from :
that is hotel paradiso 2 by britcat100

night of the pretty skirt

 

My friend Lacy and I —

Went to a very cool gallery thingy the other night. Our friend Miryana was showing her perfume at Frank Pictures Gallery and it was a fun group show there were clothes and perfumes and jewelry and art and did I mention JEWELRY and —

There was the pretty skirt.

It was a gold color and pleated and very filmy and 1950’s Audrey Hepburn and also very ballerina and I really loved that skirt but I am trying to be frugal and was not planning on buying anything and also it was hanging by a Chanel gown that was $900 so I figured no way and did not even check the tag after admiring it I wandered off and was instead trying on rings Nathalie Seaver was showing [dress up is so fun especially sparkley jewelry dress up yay!] and talking movies because everyone here either does or has done movies and it turns out Lisa Mionie who had the pretty skirt next to the tragically expensive Chanel gown used to do and sometimes still does casting and Nathalie had to introduce us and we started talking and I said something about the pretty skirt and Lisa said, That skirt is only — and named an incredibly nominal sum. Like a sum that would make it ridiculous not to buy it even if I had to live on oatmeal for months to do it.

Meanwhile in Room 222 [the room where the incredibly expensive Chanel gown and more than shockingly reasonable pretty skirt were] there was this little girl checking out some fab clothes with her father standing warily by which really cracked me up because I know that look of fear in men’s eyes when they watch their women try on clothes but I had to try on the skirt so I did, over sweats and boots [not the first fashion choice for pretty diaphanous skirts usually] and the little girl liked the skirt and Lisa liked the skirt and the father liked the skirt and I had to go show the skirt to Lacy and Miryana and Nathalie and Miriyana’s mom was there so she admired the skirt too and everyone decided I should definitely get the skirt.

So I slapped down a twenty to save the skirt I would have to pick up later and then the husband and little girl were leaving and this was the funniest part of the whole night because they stopped and looked at me very hard and said, WHERE IS THE SKIRT?

And they waited for an explanation for no bag in my hand just to make sure I was getting the skirt.

 

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ps : be sure and check out miryana’s perfume

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from at nahpro

badger badger mushroom

 

I have no idea why I think this is so funny but I do.

 

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where i got that badger mushroom clip :
i nabbed that clip at anita’s

oh. my. god.

 

Anita Marie published this on Facebook. I am so cracking up. Viking Kittehs! Yay!

 

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i’ll kill you

 

I nabbed this at Michele’s it is hilarious to me.

 

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chris’s reading

 

Chris’s table reading —

Which was last week Wednesday but I am just catching up now on last week was —

Excellent. The material is funny and people laughed in all the right places. Yay! Chris and I disagreed on who did the best read but natch I think I am right and I am Max so I am always right — according to me. Chris got excellent notes after. Some from surprise guest Steve Faber who Chris will always listen to more than me because Chris is just like that [it is one of those take things for granted things dumb Chris]. Lee was there all the way from England which is an added bonus. And we went out for drinks after which was somewhat traumatic because I forgot my ID and had to announce certain factors which prove I am above the age of 21 out loud in front of witnesses. But Lee and Chris have promised to mind wipe that incident and know I am not only vengegul but lethal so that is okay and a good time was had by all. Yay!

By the way, the woman who runs these live reads is Julie Gray and you too can have a table read if you are as good as Chris.

 

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*say if you are wondering why chris gets so much attention here right now it is because a, chris got a table read, and b [doy] chris is a member of 5150 and if you were a 5150 workshopper you would know that and get this much attention too but tragically you are not oops

 

 

where the art work comes from :
that is hotel paradiso 2 by britcat100