happy all hallow’s eve

 

In honor of today’s festivities —

A quiz. Yay!

 

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You Are Candy Corn

Your Halloween personality is whimsical, colorful, and creative.
You see Halloween as a time to get your creative juices flowing.

Each year, Halloween can’t start soon enough for you.
You tend to go all out for Halloween. You decorate like crazy and always dress up.

 

:::what halloween treat are you:::

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from francis a. willey

where i nabbed that quiz :
i nabbed that quiz at anita marie’s

seven freaking things

 

Okay the evil Faust just tagged me and I am going to cheat and pirate five freaking things because I am just like that and then maybe expand it so —

 

Seven Freaking Things You Do Not Need to Know About Me :

1. I drink. Like a maniac. I am probably black out drunk right now. Fuck, this drunk I might even have sex with you — say, are you male or female?

2. I sell drugs. To children. If you are over five forget it but hey, if you are a kid? How do you feel about cocaine?

3. I am really fond of priests. And math teachers. Will this be on the final exam? If I take off my clothes, will this be on the final exam? What the hell is a final exam anyway?

4. I smoke. Asbestos. It is fiber damn you.

5. I curse. A lot. At old people. In hospitals. Those dialysis bastards had it coming.

6. I mock cripples. Loudly. Over public address systems. “Yo! Gimp Boy. Over here.”

7. So while I was black out drunk selling drugs to four year olds and sexing it up with an old priest who taught math in my asbestos fiber sexy suit AND smoking while cursing out old people in the hospital and mocking a cripple over the public address system I had this thought: What is the meaning of life? Do not give me that old 42 rigamorole either that is lame and I have a microphone and am not afraid to use it.

 

Whew. Thank goodness that frenzy is over. Say, what were the questions again? Oh, right, seven things you do not know about me. I now officially tag —

Woeful | Stilletto | Pooks | Kitty | TJ | Frontier

 

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I would tag Kym too but Faust already got her damn him.

 

etu captain jack?

 

I have been watching Torchwood. Much to my horror a science fiction writer trying to flirt me up asked me what Torchwood is. And then he asked me out.

[Whacky optimist. Like I would date anyone who does not know Torchwood but anyway.]

Torchwood really rocks but I have this one problem with it. Captain Jack is playing for the other team.

Hello. This so disrupts my fantasy life.

 

you’re beautiful

 

This is one of those sort of heart breaking songs. I was thinking about it one day and put it in a post. Then I did not post it. I do not remember why. The video is a little odd. But I doubt that was it. It is much more likely I was saying good-bye to someone. And did not want to push the button.

Funny how you can say good-bye without ever saying it.

Or maybe I am just making that all up to make the song more mysterious.

I am like that.

 

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*that is james blunt

 

just when i thought people got me

 

You are —

French Food

Snobby yet ubiquitous.

[Ubiquitous? Really? I am not sure the quiz people know what ubiquitous means.]

People act like they understand you more than they actually do.

[Damn you Food Quiz, just when I thought people were actually getting me!]

 

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:::what kind of food are you:::

 

where the art work comes from:
that is from lmcoherty

i am missing the dogs

 

I am missing —

The dogs today. I have been looking at photos of friends’ dogs. That makes me think about dogs. Sometimes the apartment is all clean and neat and feels… just sterile. In spite of the plants and in spite of me and in spite of energy I put into this place it feels sometimes like there is an emptiness to it. And then I miss the sound of a dog sighing, the sound of paws, the feel of hugging a warm and furry dog.

 

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By the way I am writing again. Like, you know, real writing, as in writing a movie. I stopped writing when Jones died. Stopped writing cold. My agent is still crying into his coffee and hating me for that but I could never say, Hey, I would like to be writing, but I cannot, too much of what I love has died. I just made up excuses and lies and kept not writing. But the dogs are why.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from k oz fear

max and the sock monkey prognosticate

 

On Max’s Top Five —

Debunked Myths

1 : If a million monkeys on a million keyboards all typed at the same time sooner or later one of them would come up with Shakespeare.

Okay we know that is not true take a look at the internet. [Dumb mathematicians and their monkey theorems.]

2 : People in emergency situations behave like lunatics.

Definitely not true. Though this is a favorite scenario in film and television shows. Did you see the towers come down during 9-11? Did you hear the stories? Of people walking, calmly, quietly, grimly and single file without a scream or shove down stair flights in high rises on fire collapsing piece by piece into the street below and they knew it? Nobody panicked. Nobody pushed. Even a blind man made it down those stairs with his dog — after going back to save someone.

3 : If you go to trial your story will overnight be world news. Or even national news. Or even news at all.

Sorry. Only if you are a celebrity. Also, it really helps to be blonde. *1

4 : If you must face a difficult chasm crossing, it is best to do it teetering like a bad gymnast on a balance bar.

Okay that is totally stupid just stop that right now.

5 : If you tell the public there is something wrong the public will turn immediately into an insane mob panic will break out and you will have a bigger crisis than you started with.

This is a huge theory occurring regularly in film and TV just like the panic model in #3. It is total crap too. Watch film coverage of refuges “fleeing” a city. They walk. Watch 9-11 footage. People in groups are at their best during crisis. Mob scenes only happen when people are angry — or hungry.

 

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*1 : See Martha Stewart, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from betweenland

what?

 

When I was a small child —

Indoctrinated into the public school system I was told the people who founded this country were people religiously persecuted who fled to these soils to escape that. And, after they did escape that, they made it a rule: The state would never impose religion again. Ever. Or discriminate against religion. Of any kind. The end.

This year a man ran for president, was in the running for president saying he thinks the Constitution should be rewritten in the words, enforced in the words, of his religion.

 

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That man did not win his party’s support. He got shoved aside. Not popular enough. He just did not rate cheerleader status.

 

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Now his ugly brother is running.

And his ugly sister.

They say the same thing. Just with different words.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from ted drake

i put on my glasses

 

I am far sighted.

I can read a street sign fifty blocks away. Close up, I cannot read the directions on a box of Thanksgiving stuffing.

I only pull out my glasses in public in restaurants. To read the menu.

I was with a man the other night at a restaurant. I pulled out my glasses. He said, “That is your sexy Palin look.”

I said, What?

And not in a nice way.

He said, It is a compliment. Lots of guys think she is hot.

To me rock stupid is not hot.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from androgynousectomorph

what kind of writer are you again?

 

You should be —

A Joke Writer

You’re totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation.
Whether you’re spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life…
You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material.
You have the makings of a great comedian — or comedic writer.

:::what type of writer should you be:::

 

where i nabbed that quiz :
i nabbed that quiz at faust’s

where the art work comes from :
that is from arsian