why we are falling into the sea

 

My favorite theory —

For why California is going to fall into the ocean is the National Geographic Theory. It goes like this :

Everyone in California gets National Geographic. No one throws away National Geographic. Garages are filling with National Geographic up and down the fault line and one day, poof, they will be just too heavy and into the ocean we will go.

I so love that.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from zeb andrews

i am wanting ice cream

 

I am wanting —

Ice cream. I do not know where this came from. I have not had ice cream in a real long time. I am not even sure how long. Stop doing something long enough, you get out of the habit of wanting it.

But tonight.

I want ice cream.

Natch there is no ice cream here.

 

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ps : you know i totally hoofed it to the store for ice cream right?

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from jowita13

earthquake

 

Say, we had a quake here. It was not very big, they are saying 5.4. Kind of spooky it kept going longer than they usually do and when they last like that you do not know if it is the quake or is a forerunner to a quake that is going to be big. But all is well in Los Angeles.

[Chino might be a little shook up I hear that is the epicenter.]

 

things i learned in the woods

 

Sometimes city life —

Gets to me and I start thinking romantic thoughts about the country. Then I must pull out little reminders for myself absence makes the heart grow fonder and in reality the country is not for the faint of heart. Ever.

One of those reminders is —

 

Things I Learned in the Woods

Mac G4’s do not plug into DC power.

Poison oak is not thwarted by sunblock.

To you, that old wood pile looks like a nice shady spot to sit. To 5,000 wood scorpions, it is home.

“Oh that looks like a nice harmless garden spider to me” is not a Winston Churchhill quote.

“Perhaps raccoons will stay out of the cans if I put them on the porch” sounds good until you are nailing up all new porch screens.

Dogs do not believe you when you say “lilly ponds are not fun.”

Human skin is not the ecology they mean when they label laundry detergent “ecologically friendly.”

Skunks do not turn their backs when they attack — but they do a nifty tap dance.

Dominoes does not deliver to “the last house past the big rock on your left.”

Cats think all those stories about bears are made up till they meet one.

Cats can outrun bears. You had better be wearing Nikes.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from bo madsen

i had no idea i was this fashionable

 

Your celebrity style twin is —

Gwen Stefani

Trendsetting, unique, and stylish.

[That is all it said too it is not a very talkative quiz but hey it works for me.]

[Also it is clear to me looking at that image I totally need fancier camisoles if I want to keep up oh the chagrin.]

 

:::who’s your celebrity style twin:::

 

i have to see this

 

You know how you see a trailer and you think, That is either going to be complete comic genius or so incredibly bad I will wish in the theater I had a ball point pen with me to put me out of my misery?

This is one of those trailers.

[I am so hoping for comic genius I am for sure going to see this.]

 

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who would do that?

 

I am crazed and —

Being a bad hostess and also behind posting I will post a story from the Seattle days to make it up to you.

[I am totally cheating I have posted this before but over a year ago. Also this vignette is for Kym who asked for vignette.]

Who Would Do That?

Last night I went to meet a girlfriend. Her name is Laurie and she jets all over the world for free because she works for an airline. [Don't ask how annoying it is to pay four hundred dollars for a ticket a friend of yours gets for seventy-five dollars.] But she comes back to Seattle and holds interventions to get me out of this small room where I spend time with a hostile computer, and drags me out into the world. Which is when we go to Pesos.

Pesos is Laurie’s favorite place. It is a little Mexican restaurant/bar at the bottom of Queen Anne Hill. And nobody who works there is even Mexican at all which is strange to me but the bartenders are nice and cute and the drinks are good and there are steak tacos for two bucks. We go to Pesos a lot. We were going to Pesos before I even moved here. The bartenders know my name and say hello.

I was meeting Laurie and a couple friends. And I should have known it was a sign from God when a plastic hose in the toilet tank at home came loose and lured me into opening the toilet lid to find out why the toilet tank was leaking water from the top instead of the bottom when bottoms leak and tops don’t leak and it was not overflowing. The toilet immediately sprayed me and the entire room with water. And at that moment, I should have known. But I was not thinking, Oh this is one of those messages from God moments that means be careful of bathrooms. I was thinking, Oh fuck me, I have to shower and get dressed over again and I am going to be REALLY late. So I dashed all over getting together for the world and trotted to Pesos without a bit of foreboding.

And we were there and everyone was chatting and having a good time when I had a feminine emergency moment. Which you don’t bring up, you just look for a gracious moment to exit the conversation that does not look like you are cutting someone off dead [and this can be tricky because you just do want to cut people off dead and run] and walk at a gallop for a bathroom hoping your pants will survive.

Which I did. At a gallop. And slammed into the bathroom, lunged for the first stall, and it was okay. I made it. I could wear these pants again.

[If you are a guy and don't know what I am talking about and can't figure it out, well, um, I am trying to be delicate here and you are out of luck and explanations.]

Anyway. There I am. Breathing relief. Truth, justice, and the American way have prevailed. And so have my pants.

And then I notice the toilet.

The toilet is wrong.

And the sounds.

The sounds are wrong.

No one was in here, when I made the save the pants dash. But they are now.

There are certain laws of the universe. One is, women pee sitting down. Another is, this law of physics dictates how that sounds.

And I know, standing there, listening to the wrong sound —

I AM IN THE WRONG BATHROOM.

I stand there a while.

Staring at the wrong toilet.

Listening to wrong sound.

Waiting for the guy to leave.

He has to leave, right?

Only apparently this guy, who was nowhere in sight when I got here in the first place to even clue me in I was walking into THE WRONG BATHROOM was I guess drinking fifty thousand gallons of beer to insure he would be here right now —

For a long time.

But he does finish. Finally. Whew! Saved! Only —

Just when he leaves, two more guys show up.

And I guess every guy in Pesos that night was drinking fifty thousand gallons of beer just to be sure he could be here now because each time one guy leaves, two more show up like some crazed version of the magician’s apprentice and basically it is turning into a convention in here and —

Sooner or later, someone at my table will notice I have been gone too long. And come looking. Or someone will notice the feet under the door are too small and, um, in four inch heels. And then there is last call. . . .

I had to get out.

So. I did the man thing. I stomped out and tried not to look at “the other guy’s” penis. [Don't look startled, girls know about mens' room etiquette, it is a running joke at quilting bees.] And I am not even going to tell you the expression on mens’ faces when a woman walks out of a stall.

I have been going to Pesos for years. I should know where the bathroom is.

But here is the thing.

THEY SWITCHED THE BATHROOMS.

I am not kidding. They did. They changed plumbing, changed signs on doors, and presto. New mens’ room. New womens’ room. Okay, those bathrooms are side by side. There is a difference of maybe four feet of wall space between them. Who in their right mind would do that?

Your chagrined and baffled,

Adams Girl

 

where this comes from :
seemaxrun thoughts 2000

where the art work comes from :
that is out of order by thamer altassan

tragedy strikes in a boot

 

There is —

Tragic boot news. I ordered the boots and they came today and, well, the leather looks a little cheap and they are mad cap uncomfortable so back they go.

This is going to save me some cash as well as a certain amount of boot induced delirium and angst but it is still sad. They were very pretty in the picture.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from trixiebell

a day off

 

Overwhelmed by —

Difficult philosophical dilemmas like Jessica Simpson boots I am taking a day off blogging but I just saw this really cute movie you should rent it Jack and Jill vs. the World.

 

where the art work comes from :
that is from raminder pal singh

natalie raps

 

While we are doing youtubes and also speaking about women’s place I love this :

 

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